2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Today I saw another unfortunate picture. A restless grandmother of 60-65 years old with her granddaughter of 8-10 years old sat in public transport and meticulously asked, or rather, interrogated the child about life at school. Along the way, the clever grandmother got her granddaughter either a glazed cheese, or a bun, or some other food, saying that "a growing body needs to eat a lot" …
At the same time, the crooked mirror, which is probably passed on from generation to generation by such women, does not change, but takes on even more ugly outlines in our society.
We were talking about boys. And the grandmother began to give "valuable" advice, from which in the future this young person will have a very difficult future.
1. " Don't play with Andrei with that. I don't like him, ugly painful, ugly teeth. Some freak "
The child at first reacted with bewilderment to these words, judging by her look. But then, probably on an intuitive-related beginning, she listened to my grandmother's advice with might and main.
- And who are his parents?
- I don't know, bah!
- Have you seen his mother? Does this Andrey look like his mother?
- I don’t know, maybe it’s similar. Also wearing glasses.
- Lord, no! We don't need glasses! (And the kind grandmother burst into a ringing laugh)
2. "Well, do you at least like someone? Tell your grandma !?"
Granny, slightly changing the timbre of her voice and making it cloying, began to look intently at her granddaughter. This look, voice and manner itself betrayed in the woman an insistent desire to keep her granddaughter under control.
- No, grandma! I don't like anyone! All our boys are fools!
Here the grandmother's face lit up as if she had heard a chorus of angels from heaven.
-Right! They are all fools! Remember this! And then you will run after them and cry for some more fools! And they only need one thing, only one thing!”The woman pointedly remarked.
The grandmother did not calm down on this. She dialed her daughter's number and boasted about her granddaughter's discovery!
Next was my stop. My subpersonalities fought in me - a professional teacher and a psychologist, and also a woman and a mother …
Realizing that the girl, brought up in a similar Kingdom of crooked mirrors with toxic and destructive attitudes, will soon grow up and will remember her grandmother's words, insulting all men, caused anxiety and sadness, as well as a feeling of hopelessness.
Hopelessness … Now we, teachers, psychologists, mothers and fathers, often criticize the education system, far from flattering reviews fly to schools, incompetent teachers and psychologists who cannot cope with either the emotional load or the paperwork.
However, an immortal proverb comes to mind - There is no reason to blame the mirror if the face is crooked.
Let's not dissemble. We all went to school, but we have forgotten most of the subjects, topics and tasks. Such is the selectivity of memory. But what the girl is hammered into in the family with a deliberately demonstrative, socially aggressive intonation is easily assimilated and organically enters the layer of her personality, which is responsible for family values and inter-sex relations.
The task of each of us, mothers and fathers, grandparents, is to more consciously and meaningfully approach the upbringing of children and grandchildren. After all, our everyday experience, wisdom, reason, in the end, should outweigh emotions and not allow such false beliefs and delusions to become a vector of personal development.
Awareness of the dead end of such behavior, comprehension of the very significance of the process of raising a child or adolescent is a primary necessity. It is within the power of any school to hold parenting meetings and actually arrange an educational program for such devaluing parents and grandparents…. It's not a fact that everything will work out the first time, but at least someone will think about their own behavior in the family, over their thoughts …
Author: Arkhangelskaya Nadezhda Vyacheslavovna
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