We Are At War With Colleagues, Playing

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

As a child, meeting offenders and bullies, we actively defended ourselves, engaging in verbal skirmishes and fights. Here we have grown up, many of us have matured, almost all have learned the rules of generally accepted behavior, but this does not mean that the work office is protected from being turned into a battlefield.

Many at work faced the problem of behind-the-scenes games, intrigues, when, for no apparent reason, colleagues suddenly began to make tricky plans behind their backs and developed obscure strategies in which the main prize was reputation, recognition and a place on the hierarchical ladder within the team. Can office players be tracked down and defeated? How to neutralize your colleagues who are habitually having fun? How can you do this without unnecessary risk? It is possible, simple and easy! Just take a closer look at them and become a little more circumspect.

In a team, each person plays a certain role, sometimes imposed by others and not always pleasant, but always corresponding to the general semantic space of the group. We will consider the most controversial in terms of communication with them.

Radio operator … Ten minutes after the start of communication with this colleague, you will learn that Marina was abandoned by her husband, Igor's car is being repaired, and Ksenia Borisovna has recovered again. Word of mouth is the most popular radio station in the world, and if it has a permanent representative in your office, you don't have to worry about the lack of fresh news. Accept that all colleagues will also hear about your affairs. It is impossible to ignore such a colleague, and to hide something is even worse, since the colleague will supplement the lack of information with his excellent imagination. He only needs to hear a hint of a sensation in order to think out the rest in the shortest possible time. For example, someone took an unplanned day off. The radio operator at the "unscheduled council" gives out a dozen versions: from a secret wedding to inheritance. The migraine option is not considered in principle, a highly developed imagination welcomes only a creative approach.

Recommendation. Never go to open confrontation, otherwise gossip about you will acquire completely unprecedented colors. It is still worth stopping the flow of eloquence from time to time, but with balanced reciprocal arguments, calm and sane. In the example of an unplanned day off, it is enough to remind the radio operator about the hours of service and the usual migraine. However, if the gossip is not from idleness, but with a specific purpose: to spoil your reputation, then open your cards and openly declare that all this is fiction and provocation. It won't help much, but next time your colleague is unlikely to be recklessly believed. The reputation of a gossip is very easy to earn, but it is extremely difficult to get rid of it.

Hunter. He is a gambling and experienced gambler who has achieved his position exclusively at the expense of others. It so happened that in the corporate world there are two options for career development. The first is to go step by step towards the goal, the second is to go over the heads. And no aggression, no hostility directed against you personally: such a person builds a career with enthusiasm, as if in a computer strategy. He acts calmly and prudently, as a rule, the same proven tactics are used. Watch a couple of Hollywood comedies about avid careerists who, for the sake of promotion and their own pleasure, are ready to develop the most sophisticated plan to take over someone else's office.

Recommendation. If the hunter does not seek to take your place personally, then you have nothing to worry about - he seeks to maintain the warmest possible relationship with others. It is worth fearing when he needs your chair for career growth. All the rules of fighting are relevant here: to be on the alert, not to make mistakes, to gather around people you can trust, to always consider the possibilities of your own career growth. You have to become the perfect adversary."Undercover games" are unlikely to receive publicity within the walls of the office, it is wiser to be patient and try to look at the situation through the eyes of your "enemy": what is our life? - the game and the people in it are actors. Play your part with fun and improvisation.

Provocateur … This person refutes everything, and immediately finds a dozen objections to any of your arguments. The provocateur has no idea how you can draw attention to yourself, except to declare yourself louder, getting involved in another argument. You can come up with the most creative, rational, effective options, but a colleague will certainly criticize each of them. Sound familiar?

Recommendation. Don't waste your nerves. For a provocateur, this is just a familiar and only understandable way of communicating. Let him talk, and then try again to express your point of view. There is another good countermeasure. As a rule, the provocateur brilliantly criticizes, but he has problems with putting forward his own ideas. In response to his criticism, ask him to suggest your (best) option according to the principle: "reject - offer!" Or try promoting your ideas bypassing public comment. Believe me, it is possible to do this even when decisions are made at a general meeting or at a planning meeting.

Offended. Among your colleagues, there are probably those for whom extra responsibility is one headache. They are not too ambitious, they prefer to calmly move towards the goal and do not like terribly when they have to answer for their own mistakes. And then an offended child wakes up in them, who is ready to point his finger at everyone in a row with the words "He was the first to start!" or “What have I to do with it ?! This he prompted me! " Be prepared for the fact that at the most crucial moment the offended will begin to shift the blame onto the first shoulders that come across. Think, are you ready to substitute your own?

Recommendation. In many films there is a variable-hackneyed scene: the young lady manages to thoroughly screw up a project, but when the time comes to answer, her colleague nobly takes the blame. The heroine, of course, surely falls in love with him, the film ends with a wedding. Happy end! Instead of a young lady, there may be a kind, but naive guy, who finally becomes a devoted and reliable friend … But! It is reasonable to calmly take the blame on yourself in the event that the result is very important to you, it is just that at the current moment it is necessary to avoid unnecessary proceedings and conflict, and there will be an opportunity to explain the motives of your action to your superiors later. This is often much more effective than meticulously figuring out who is to blame for what. In addition, a colleague who is so disgusted with responsibility will certainly be grateful to you, because, despite all the loud protests, he is well aware of his shortcomings. The main thing is not to overdo it in this direction, so as not to become a "scapegoat" for all your colleagues.

Experienced. This colleague is always more experienced and experienced. This fact alone opens up much more possibilities for him. He automatically puts himself higher and allows himself impartial comments about: “not a woman’s business, borscht and“kitchen”or“male selfishness, promiscuity and shortsightedness”or“the haphazard nature of modern education, graduating specialists on paper, and not in practice,”etc. etc. Dangerous at the most crucial moments of your working life. For example, you have a responsible event on which further promotion, bonus or vacation depends on the time you need. And suddenly, after the end of your well-reasoned report, you hear a painfully familiar voice, which, as if by the way, throws an inappropriate joke about Domostroev's truths, in which “my grandmother, my wife, pregnant at the stove, is trying to rule the state "or" a peasant-lapotnik, from the plow, but strives to slip into the Kalash row … ". Your event, instead of serious questions and discussions, ends with inappropriate laughter of colleagues, and the next day the experienced one will be innocently bewildered: what did he say ?!

Recommendation. First, professionally significant issues traditionally attract strong people. Secondly, from childhood, we were instilled with the idea of superiority of some over others, both at the level of separation between the strong and the weaker sex, and according to the degree of experience, inexperience and other gradations. Do not be in vain to be angry: a colleague absolutely sincerely believes that he copes with the tasks set much better than you. Find out what is the weak point of your colleague, what he considers his main competitive advantage: his gender, thanks to which, in principle, he does not perceive you as a worthy opponent, or his life and work experience, which allows him to devalue you as a person and a professional. By understanding this, you will have a huge space for creativity. It is hardly worth explaining what qualities you can use to prove your competence. The only advice: do not get into arguments and open skirmishes with him. It is much wiser, without destroying the colleague's illusions about his superiority, to calmly and coolly parry his attacks, anticipate teasing and ignore injections.

Professional ace. Ace from the French word as - ace, in the modern sense, as "the first in its field." Such a colleague has a work book - an example of acquired professional experience, in this connection, he looks down on the career exercises of others, controlling their actions and is ready to give invaluable advice endlessly. Receiving advice, of course, is good, but in abundance they begin to a) put pressure on the psyche, causing an inferiority complex and b) confuse and deprive the initiative completely. In fact, a professional is unlikely to often emphasize his significant difference in knowledge and skills: he does not need daily proof that he is older, smarter and more experienced than others. Until the middle of the twentieth century, the word as was written in the German (ass) transcription - ass, which gives us every right to accept the word ass in one of the translation options from English, meaning donkey … (and there is another piquant translation option that can be easily found in dictionary yourself).

Recommendation. First, in a relaxed atmosphere, agree with your dignity that it is really beneficial to listen to the advice and comments of an experienced colleague from time to time. Any advice in life can come in handy, and knowledge is the baggage that does not rub shoulders. Second, show your willingness to learn and embrace the experience of your elders. Demonstratively, only adolescents in the period of growing up and hormonal rebellion prove their independence. Third, under the critical supervision of a professional, it is calmer to grow and learn. Thank fate for the trials: the more annoying the advice of others, the stronger the incentive to grow and develop yourself.

One last thing: remember that in professional life there should always be a clear goal to which one must go - albeit slowly, but always steadily and persistently, like an icebreaker. Only in this case it will be almost impossible to win or set you up.