Violence And Meaning

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

VIOLENCE AND MEANING

For the victim, violence is meaningless. The rapist has a meaning. This is power, possession, a thirst for humiliation, infliction. Therefore, it is important for the victim to understand the violence. Finding your own sense of what happened. It’s in no way about "how I pulled this into my life" or "what I did that happened to me." This is victimblaming and this is a story from a completely different, creepy opera, which has no right to exist next to the one who is harmed at all. This is a comprehension about the slow and gradual understanding of one's own changes, which, like circles on water, began to occur in the psyche after the violence. Because an uninvited intrusion into the body, into the psyche, into life, which cannot be stopped or resisted, scatters inside like shrapnel, striking everything around. Therefore, it is never enough to consider and "process" only the immediate place of violence. Just like after firing the shrapnel, you need to look for every tiny bullet that flew from the main projectile. Examine the place of impact, look for those value and semantic violations that happened as a result of violence. And restore them. Rehabilitate by separating the abuser's meaning from the consequences that occurred. The abuser remained outside. And inside a person in whom violence spread through the whole psyche like shrapnel, then meanings continue to be distorted for weeks, months, years. Therefore, it is necessary to treat these wounds. Talk not only about the situation of violence and feelings about it, but also about broken trust as such, about the fear of entering into a relationship, about the inner loss of some rights, about the loss of hope for something, about helplessness, a sense of danger and much more. These are all the places where the "shrapnel of violence" hit. For recovery, recovery, you need to pull out every tiny "bullet". Otherwise, like a real shrapnel in a real body, it will start to rot and destroy the body. Because inside there is no place for foreign bodies, forcibly introduced by others. They need to be removed. Extracting from the psyche, one by one, is like an operation - gentle and attentive. Slow and with mandatory antiseptics followed by antibiotics. Subtle and gradual examination in search of new painful and non-healing places. And a lot of support, care, courtship, mental bed rest and dietary nutrition in a relationship. Because to take inside the meaning of the rapist ("it's okay with me," "it's my fault," "he has the right," and so on) is a path of self-destruction. No one is to blame if at some point in life a force was found, greater than himself, and was directed against his nature. But the destruction that occurs inside after the violence can be stopped. And rebuild yourself, having gone through a terrible experience.