2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We learn relationships either on our own or simply copy parental scripts.
And if you already notice that your relationship with your partner is very reminiscent of what your mom or dad had, you can safely talk about a recurring scenario. Anything that repeats itself is actually toxic, because it's about a vicious circle.
As if you were looping, this is how the female patterns of behavior “wait forever”, “hope forever”, “suffer forever”, “search forever” are formed. This is about the eternal little girl who is waiting for the prince to come and give everything she needs or finally take care of.
Yes, this is called codependency. Total dependence on desires, needs, moods, resources, money, disposition of another person.
If you looked, smiled, called, wrote - I flutter, I am glad, life is full of happiness.
He didn’t look, didn’t smile, didn’t call, sent - the eternal wheel of suffering and self-flagellation starts, as if an adult woman has nothing to do, has no interests, goals, desires, in the end dignity.
The state of mental sleep, not at all aware of "what I am included in", what toxic manipulations, how I allow myself to be used, how I drain my resources and life time, seeking his smile or favor.
In such difficult relationships, there are a number of classic mistakes:
1. Dissolution in another, his interests, needs, goals, he needs more than me
2. The focus is always on the other, like him, like him, what he has, where he was, with whom
3. Guilt that he is not an ideal wife or lover, that others have everything better, that he did not live up to his expectations, that he disappointed
4. Fear of loneliness, quit, leave, change
5. The shame of being abandoned, betrayed, rejected, divorced
6. Tacit consent to the patience of humiliation, insults, devaluation, just not to be alone
7. Desire for total control, so that he would tell everything, spend a lot of time together, trust all his thoughts and desires
8. Suffering as a way of manipulation to get your own way instead of open discussion
9. Suppressing your feelings, like a desire to stay in the role of a "good and correct girl"
10. Consumerism, through an inner feeling that he owes me and owes me because I am his wife, girlfriend, lover
Overlapping on each other, these mistakes make the relationship dangerous, poisoning both. An energy funnel opens in which both lose their well-being, health and their resources.
How many of the 10 errors responded to you?
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