2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Author: Ekaterina Dyachkova-Dia
Psychologist, Gestalt Consultant
And I'm not kidding.
There are a lot of questions about the completion of the gestalt. They all boil down to the wording: I'm tired of these thoughts and where to get the strength not to think about it.
Forces are nowhere to be taken. You can stop losing them. And that's all.
Stopping the return of attention to the past situation is mostly a volitional effort first.
- First, stop thoughts and stop inflating the image of this event or person.
- Then finding different options for the outcome of the completion of this event. Different ones that you like in the present. Since it is impossible to go further, until I decided here, i.e. and you cannot solve it and you cannot start a full-fledged other either.
- Then the search for steps, how you can get this result (simply, what is your plan).
And if not, then think about the fact that you are not omnipotent and that you are not able to change what is now, and therefore leave everything as it is - you are not the Lord God.
You don't have the leverage to change the situation, and neither does the other person.
Stop wanting what is beyond your control.
Let's try to show on my fingers how the mechanism that stops the drain of your attention works.
As you know, our brain interacts not with the real world, but with our images in the head.
If these images are confirmed by real figures and events in the world, we feel energetic and can act in both bad and good situations.
If we really want to, but these images are not confirmed for a long time, and we cannot refuse them, the brain goes into a looping mode - i.e. he begins to draw a beautiful picture for himself, inflates it, enjoys it (how I will get everything or how I will take revenge) and, voila, you no longer live in the real world, but with a monster in your fantasy.
At best, the energy of enjoying this fantasy is used for other things that are not related to desire, and at worst, for dwelling on this image and the thrill from it.. and nothing more.
After all, the alignment of forces in reality does not change.
Then you do not notice how this image grows and grows, it begins to attract your attention more and more, you already do not want to give it there, but you cannot fight this: you hang in these thoughts for weeks (years) and wait until it passes by itself … But it doesn't go away.
In a very extreme case, you lie down on the sofa and you don't want anything - there are no psychological forces, and nothing can be done - there are no physical forces.
This happens because energies from outside - i.e. the pleasure of confirming your real results in the world in material terms is much less (or not at all) than your inner fantastic image consumes.
Our task is to reduce this giant in our head, to take away our attention from it.
The most affordable and easiest way to distract attention is to exercise. redirect energy from fantasy to physical education every time.
Little by little, no need for torture and records.
Remembered - squeezed out, remembered - squeezed out.
Remember again? Squeezed out 10 times more..
After the load, it is easier to strain your will and direct attention to other matters.
After some time, the demonic image of your gestalt will decrease, because you will give less-and-less energy there and you will be able to stop yourself at the very beginning, no longer unwinding your thoughts.
After some more, you will begin to do push-ups because you want to, and not because the task is to reduce the flow of attention.
Accumulate energy (physical education helps to do this almost from scratch), put it into action.
Once again - plan + action, there is no other way.
And if nothing can be changed and you leave everything as it is, even though the figure will be in good shape, the weight is normal and you are with energy.
Wins anyway.
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