Coach

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Initially, the title of the article came to me in the form of the paraphrased title of the song of the controversial singer "Russia of the Nineties", Professor Lebedinsky, who sang: "I will kill you, boatman", but then I thought it would sound too bloodthirsty, and the article might come out a little different. Therefore, only one word was included in the name, which, despite the fact that it does not exist in reality, is used very often and not even by the most illiterate people.

So, let's turn to Wikipedia. She tells us literally the following: “ Coaching (coaching - training) - a method of training, in the process of which a person called a "coach" (in Russian - a trainer) helps the student to achieve a certain or professional goal. " The word "coach" in relation to coaching somehow did not take root in our country, but something else appeared, the very "coach", which does not exist and has never existed. When I’m called a “coach,” I always imagine a coachman swinging the reins over the head of a trio of horses while somehow conducting sessions with clients. Probably, even the very fact of “misrepresenting” the name of the profession can already tell a lot about the perception of it by my compatriots, and the point here is not at all a lack of knowledge of English. No one is confused by the word "football" or "footballer", and no one composes versions like "footballer" or "footballer". Apparently, the concept itself, so to speak, infuriates, that's what I want to write about.

A couple of weeks ago, in one of the groups in social networks, in which I am a member, an ad was posted about the services of an astrologer-numerologist, with a photo of a girl of about forty and a phone number. In fact, you won’t surprise anyone with such professions (I’m not putting it in quotes on purpose), but attention was attracted by the number of comments, of which there were already several dozen. To summarize, the girl was accused of charlatanism, fraud, deceit, parasite, summoning the Devil, serving him, promoting pseudosciences, wasting taxpayers' money and treason. Okay, just kidding, they weren't accused of treason. Nevertheless, the main message was that "How dare you take money from us, ordinary hard workers, who earn their pennies with sweat and blood for this your godless heresy? !!"

About 20 years ago - maybe 30 - the attitude towards psychologists was about the same. Then they got used to them a little, someone, even on their own skin, felt that working with a psychologist, oddly enough, helps in life a little more than "going to a friend with a bottle or two of wine and complaining to each other about unfulfilled dreams" and in general, society has come to terms with the existence of psychologists. And here, out of nowhere, a new misfortune: tarologists, numerologists, astrologers of all stripes (to be honest, I don't know who the “Vedic astrologers” are, and what exactly they do, but they are!), And then completely “unknown bullshit ", coaches. We climbed out of all the cracks, so to speak, and let's feed on the population, already interrupted from bread to water.

I have nothing against either tarologists or numerologists, I lay out the Tarot deck myself, no-no, and when communicating with clients I pay attention to the date of birth, so it gives me an understanding of the main Arcana of a person, and they, in turn, indicate the main energies, but in general I attribute astrology and similar sciences (occupations?) rather to a diagnostic apparatus, since no knowledge about the signs of the Zodiac answers the question "Why?", very much even help. I'm ready for the fact that numerologists will not agree with me, nevertheless, I believe in the Free Will of a person, and in the fact that he himself can choose how exactly he should live his life. Personally, I perceive coaching as a set of tools that help a person change what prevents him from being happy, and in 99% of cases it is he himself, and there is no need to nod to any parades of the planets, and no Mercury retrograde cancels the fact that a person is simply a boor or an ignoramus.

But the phenomenon of “hatred of coaches” interests me very much, besides, I know for sure that anyone who has applied coaching techniques at least once and saw the result has nothing against coaching, on the contrary, he will recommend going to the coach to his friends, as a quick way to solve intrapersonal problems.

As usual, I'll try to list the possible causes.

1) “I don’t know what it is, but if I don’t know and my bosom friend Kolya doesn’t know, then it’s something bad and harmful.”

I will not undertake to describe in a nutshell the essence of coaching, which is already several decades old, but I can draw a parallel with a sports coach. If you want to get your body in good physical shape, as one of my clients says, "Make a figurine out of a carcass," you need someone who will tell you where to start and how to continue, and preferably will be standing next to you while you do push-ups and squats, firstly so that you do not hurt yourself in the process, since push-ups and squats also need to be correct, and secondly, so that you do not run away from training, waving your hand at both the figure and money spent on a subscription. When a client comes to me, he also wants to solve some problem that worries him from the inside, and not from the outside; a sports trainer decides the issue of getting rid of excess weight, and I - from excess stress, although with excess weight I can help, since he also does not just appear on his own, there is an internal reason. We also find a "pain point", find out exactly what the client wants to get from working with a coach (it is very, very important to find out as soon as possible), and prescribe a "training" plan, that is, those tasks that need to be completed to gain insights, "Insights", when the client (s) calls or writes with the words: "I understood (a) why I react to this and that !!!". As they say, no magic, again, everything is fair. The better the tasks are completed, the stronger the insights, the stronger the insights, the closer the exit, that is, "improving the internal state." There are no “magic pills” in coaching, it is possible to refer to being busy and not completing tasks for this reason, but ultimately ineffective, and you can listen to Kolya's bosom friend and his advice only if Kolya is an absolutely self-sufficient, happy and harmonious person, although a contradiction immediately appears here - such Kolya does not give advice, does not see the point.

2) “Wait, I’ll run to listen to some Masha with three classes of the parish school, what she can teach me at all”.

Where did the opinion come from that coaches have no education and do not even know what they are talking about, I also don’t know. Maybe this stereotype was a result of the fact that ten years or more ago, a large number of "gurus" really appeared who promoted coaching as a means of getting rich quickly for housewives at the expense of other housewives, but housewives did not study well and missed the most important thing in their thirst for quick profit - "What exactly should be done?" - and they had only diplomas, hastily laid out in Word. In order to avoid claims - I am not against housewives, I admire them, because Zen is not enough for me for the daily work of cooking and cleaning, I have tried. Personally, I studied coaching for about 5 years, practiced daily and trained on everyone I could. It's a pity, cats are not allowed, they don't complain about a hard life, ha-ha. Again, the choice of a coach or psychologist is not always determined by the name of the educational institution, which is written in his / her diploma or certificate, he / she may have a dozen of these diplomas, but personally to you, he / she, as a person, is unpleasant, and in such In this case, no one forces you to work with him / her, and this is equally true for coaches as well as for manicurists or hairdressers - stylists or even sales managers.

3) "And what, do you have to pay for this nonsense?"

Well, no, of course, you can pay off with tomatoes or greyhound puppies, to whom which is more suitable. Here the answer is immediately in the question - if you consider this nonsense, why are we conducting this dialogue at all? If an artichoke is sold in a store, and you personally have never eaten it, and in general you think that an artichoke by its very existence violates your constitutional rights (you know which ones), then in spite of this, no one will give it to you for free, that's how it is arranged. But you can get a job in this store, work as a loader, for example, and at the end of the month ask for a salary in artichokes, "at the rate", is also an option. When we are told that “you have to pay for everything,” then money is simply a “universal substitute”, a measure of exchange, and sometimes we pay with time, effort, emotions, but this is not so noticeable. When working with any specialist - teacher, doctor, psychologist, stage speech director - you pay for the time and effort that this specialist has spent on you. You could have been on yourself, right? Or on your family, or on the geraniums on the windowsill.

And in general, no one imposes anything on you. There is a person who offers you what he knows how to do, and this is his right, and your right to agree to use his services in exchange for banknotes or puppies, or not agree. Just say, "Thank you, I don't need this." Imagine that you went to the store for a juicer (the harvest season, for sure, is my favorite example lately!), And at the entrance to the store there is a huge stand with vacuum cleaners and the polite manager just invited you to take a look at these vacuum cleaners. You flare up in response, shout in an inhuman voice, accuse the manager of charlatanism and extortion, promise to write a complaint to the society of juicer lovers, and generally feel deeply offended, because you and your whole family have never developed a relationship with vacuum cleaners, because you You don’t know how to use them and therefore you use a broom and tell everyone that “All these new-fangled things are not for me, and in general they don’t work, either it’s a good old broom, besides, I’m also saving electricity!”.

At the end of my fiery speech, I can say that most often those who most of all spit poisonous saliva towards the "coaches" are those who most need their help, but this, of course, is a completely different story.

I wish you health and mental balance, Yours, #anyafincham