Elements Of The Game In Online Work With A Couple

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Family therapy is one of my favorites and perhaps the most effective line of work.

A good criterion is if a man has addressed, rather than when a partner is pulled “on the lasso” by his wife or girlfriend, and he is restless. parrying with phrases indicating his unwillingness to change:

“You yourself need to be treated! I'm alright!"

If a person is not ready to work, nothing good will come of it

A woman, initially, is more loyal to psychological help, and if she has not made a final decision to leave, rather, agree with the partner's proposal to undergo joint therapy.

Working in Skype, I create a general chat and simultaneously call both partners.

It is more convenient if the couple works from different devices and, if possible, is in different rooms. I do this so that people, in the conditions of Skype therapy, do not "nest" on each other's heads and feel freer.

Indeed, those who seek help, more often than not, have the warmest relationship at this time.

If the apartment is one-room, one can be in the room, and the other in the kitchen.

Often my clients work from different places, for example, a woman is at home, and a man is in the office.

There were cases when partners worked from different cities and even in different countries.

If the couple is still "alive" - the process is progressing by leaps and bounds!

In this case, the therapy of the couple, with mutual desire, is carried out much faster than individual work.

There are a number of reasons for this:

1. Clarity and clarity of the request, which is obvious already upon contact.
2. Mutual desire to make amends
3. Unity of purpose: "Build relationships with a partner"
4. Synergy - a more intense exchange of energies turns on
5. Group speaker turns on
6. Easier to use game elements

How do you generate these very game elements?

First of all, I try to be based on paradoxical prescriptions.

This technique was first used at the Milan School of Psychotherapy.

Or, on the contrary, do something that, a priori, is absurd

For example:

• Set aside a special day and hour to have a fight, for example, on Mondays and Thursdays from 8 pm to 9 pm
• Swear so loudly, expressing feelings, until neighbors start knocking on the pipe.
• Refuse to wash dishes (if this is the subject of a conflict) until one of the partners has nerves or so as not to wash the dishes: eat only in public catering, use disposable dishes.
• Do not throw away garbage, but save bags with it in the kitchen or in the hallway

The obvious absurdity of such tasks gives rise to many jokes, relieving tension between the couple.

I like to use metaphors in my work:

So, the young couple agreed that if the wife mumbles, the husband will show her the cards of the tambourine suit, according to the intensity of the “bubnezhka”: from six to ace!

And the husband took as a basis one bearded anecdote

And if he comes home from work tired, he simply puts on a cap on a certain side so that his wife “can't stand his brain”.

I like to repeat to my clients that mutual claims stem from a mismatch in the picture of the world of partners, because each of them has his own unique life experience. A therapist is a specially trained person who becomes a translator from male to female and vice versa.