Three Sources Of Vitality

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

It is often enough to simply endure to win. Cope with life. Not with any special difficulties, not accomplishing feats, but simply not going crazy, not falling to the bottom of despair and not giving up in ordinary, routine everyday life. Continue to do your job, live your life, and no matter what, enjoy every new day. Fortitude is a rare quality. The resources that a person relies on help to develop it. Here are three main sources

1. The first and foremost human resource is, of course, parents. And parental love. Unconditional and accepting, understanding, embracing. And therefore, when a person does not have good relations with his parents, when the parents themselves were broken and they were burdened by the burden of parenting, then the person’s settings were initially knocked down. Basically, fundamentally, he has nothing to rely on. His childish part is also injured, it is difficult for him to cope with life, he has a lot of shame and even more fear. He is easily vulnerable, easy to control. Therefore, any therapy begins with building up an attitude towards parents, accepting and agreeing with the reality that is given, and "growing" the healthy part of the personality in the process of therapy. A person partially becomes a parent to himself. Those who give themselves what their real parents did not give. And then there are two ways out. Either this, through therapy and / and spiritual work, or all his life a person will seek the figure of an ideal parent, project it onto other people and demand from them, and depend on them, or on some idea, from money, from fame, from social networks … And most importantly, he will act out with the projection the same scenario of the relationship that he had with his parents. That is, desperately doomed and filled with pain, impotence, irritation. But by the way, even the worst parents that a person could have become resource figures for him in the course of therapy.

2. Achievements. Hang your diplomas on the wall. Your medals for the third place in the chess tournament in the summer camp. Yes, even for the tenth, it does not matter. Any achievement, victory, big or small, noticeable to everyone or only to you personally, is a resource and basis for your sustainability. Where did I win, where did I manage, when did I benefit? Write this list down and magnet to the refrigerator. No, this is not to tickle vanity. It's just that it's easier for us to start new and endure the old, find solutions and draw inspiration when we see that we have already succeeded. I was already a fairly successful journalist when I came to psychology. And this awareness helped me when I started my psychological practice. Success breeds success. And what is curious, many people find it easier to admit their failures, to engage in self-digging and self-criticism, than to evaluate their merits. And self-criticism and the experience of shame on the topic of where and when he failed, generates fears, blocks vital energy, paralyzes. In therapy, we also work with this a lot, trying to identify secondary benefits from self-criticism, from failure and where the legs of the impostor complex grow from. Many have it, only the reasons are different for everyone.

3. Taking care of yourself is an important resource. Just nice, nice clothes, morning ritual with a warm breakfast, strictly observed lunch and dinner times. Exposing your face to the sun's rays is also taking care of yourself. In the working race and the hustle and bustle, stop for a moment, take a deep breath and take a breath, and allow yourself to just be in the moment "here and now" - taking care of yourself. Saying a firm and calm "no" right away, without wasting your and other people's time when you want to say "no" is taking care of yourself. Going to church, gym, hairdresser is also taking care of yourself. Even slicing the salad nicely is also taking care of yourself. Only the one who takes care of himself is able to take care of the present and of others. There is no time for careless people, they serve everyone and curry favor, they burn out, they are sucked out, and then thrown to the sidelines empty, leaving only the bitterness of resentment and a feeling of being used at the bottom. There is not even anger, anger is also a resource, it guards the borders. Therefore, a new life, or rather, old life in a new way, sometimes begins simply with the fact that a person allows himself a little care of himself.