2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It is now widely believed that anger and anger (not only in women) are harmful feelings. They somehow adversely affect our system. We are invited to quickly forgive and love everyone around. Something has always confused me about this pseudo-spiritual approach to working with emotions. I also doubted very much that covering a boiling pot with a lid was the right decision. Even if this cap is soldered, sooner or later the pressure will be too strong and an explosion will occur
Besides that, I really love these feelings. It was the healthy interaction with them that helped me connect with my feminine strength and vitality. It helped to get out of the image of a victim and an obedient girl and grow up.
It helped me start to feel my boundaries and learn to defend them. Helped restore self-esteem. And it brought with it many more bonuses.
But everything is in order.
What is anger?
In terms of energy, anger itself is neutral. Such a huge emotional charge is given to him by our struggle with him. Struggle always causes suffering. We are fighting against it because someone once told us that it is bad. The people around us in childhood did not know very much about life and, moreover, about how the psyche works, but this did not prevent them from forbidding us to feel something, because they simply did not know what to do with it. We continue to forbid ourselves to this day, fighting with ourselves now, losing access to the enormous vital energy that this feeling hides in ourselves. We begin to hide behind the idea of forgiveness and goodness, while a fountain of suppressed anger rages within us.
What does a woman with repressed aggression and anger do?
She directs him to herself:
- as a result, bodily symptoms, autoimmune diseases (when cells of the immune system attack their own body), headaches and other bodily reactions can occur;
- blames himself for all the troubles, always scolds himself for doing everything wrong, always
- dissatisfied with herself, wants to remake herself, both externally and internally.
She directs him outward:
- on loved ones, often unconsciously, this is expressed in nervous breakdowns for children, for a partner;
- blames external circumstances, country, system, government, etc. for everything.
I would like to pay special attention to anger and anger directed at men. Almost all women, whether they realize it or not, carry a hatred of men for the fact that they have suppressed our strength for centuries. If a woman does not realize this anger against everything that is masculine and does not work with her, then this anger begins to come out in an exaggerated form (in relation to her partner or her son). Anger directed at a partner can manifest itself both in open uncontrollable affective tantrums and in hidden manipulation-acts of revenge (which is even worse, because it is almost impossible to distinguish between them and all these games are also supported by our conditioned culture). These manipulations consist in the fact that a woman, playing the role of a submissive helpful wife, uses a man to satisfy her material needs, and also gets a guarantee that he will not leave her anywhere. Thus, behind the mask of a sweet, pliable helpless girl, a rather calculating woman is hiding, reveling in her power.
If now it seems to you that this is not relevant for you and you do not have such feelings as anger, hatred and aggression, then the people around you in childhood did their best and you hid these feelings so deeply that you think that their no. Now you can make a choice - continue to explore your nature and find the riches hidden in you, or decide that this is not for you and stop reading the article further.
How can you start dealing with your own anger without hurting yourself and others?
There are many options for dealing with suppressed anger. I would advise you to contact a specialist who will gently support you in this work.
You yourself can take the following steps:
- give the inner permission of this energy to be, without evaluating it;
- go regularly to active meditations (for example: OSHO dynamic meditation, AUM meditation) - this will help you express anger in a safe, conscious space;
- dancing (you can turn on active music at home and dance your wild dance of anger). When you start taking time to be with this feeling, it will no longer have to break through unconsciously and unexpectedly for you and others;
- Imagine situations from the past where someone treated you unfairly, but you kept silent and pretended that you were not angry. Take a pillow and do with it everything that you would like to do then with the one who offended you. Don't be shy about your expressions and actions. Even if you do not immediately feel anger, you can imagine that you are in the theater and play it. In time, your body will remember;
- go to the forest where no one can hear you or lock yourself in the car and shout so loudly and for a long time until you get hoarse.
Almost all of these techniques do not involve another person, you can do them alone or with a pillow. Please be careful not to hurt yourself.
The purpose of these practices is to create a space for unexpressed anger where it can manifest. As soon as he gets your attention, the internal struggle will cease and, as a bonus, you will gain a huge charge of vitality.
Starting step by step to connect with the energy of our own anger, to experience it and find a charge of vital energy in it, we begin to regain our feminine power, which has been suppressed for centuries, thereby healing our relationship, both with ourselves and, as a result, with the opposite sex. … We cease to be infantile and helpless victims of circumstances, and become adult women - beautiful, wild and individual in our natural nature.
Based on my experience, I can say that many women, like me at one time, have a fear of their own strength and power. We are accustomed to the role of weak, defenseless girls who must be taken care of by a strong powerful man. Only this is very similar to the relationship between a dad and a daughter and a little like an adult equal relationship between a man and a woman. You need to be ready to step out of these old scripts and beliefs in order to return to your natural energy.
When we connect with the resource lurking in our anger, we discover a source of immense vitality within us that
- grounds us and is necessary for us to feel that we can take care of ourselves (does not exclude the fact that we can happily accept care from the outside when it comes),
- helps us to realize and express ourselves in this life, helps us to feel ourselves and our desires,
- encourages us to say no and define our boundaries;
- supports us so that we can see beyond our fear and make decisions that are important for our soul;
- gives us a sense of integrity.
Are you ready to invite this energy into your life?
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