Despondency And Adultery

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

What should I do with my own life? the man asks.

My life is like a favorite book. In the beginning, I opened it and the whole world was revealed to me. One discovery followed another. How much wisdom, how much practical advice, how many opportunities she gave me. I considered this book to be the most valuable thing I had back then.

“My book,” I said about it, with love, with pride, with lust.

Over and over again, reading into it, I always found something new. I was ready to tell about it to everyone who was ready to hear.

I could not imagine anything more valuable than this book. A little later, she was no longer as "hooked" as before. I followed a lot of her advice. And many, he considered unsuitable. The wisdom of the book, little by little, dimmed. After all, I did not stand still. Other books have appeared. Other sources.

The time has come when I have only fond memories of the book. I stopped needing her. Remembering the value she gave me, I decided to part with her. I decided to present it. To the one who needs it more.

My relationship with my own life is like the story of my favorite book. With only one amendment. Life, unlike a book, cannot be gifted to another. Life is the only thing that belongs to me. And only to me. Indeed, in reality, any thing, idea, which I consider to be my property, does not belong to me.

At the beginning of our relationship with life, I had nothing more valuable than it. Then, the value declined. There are too many problems. Personal crises. Too many depression. Quarrels with friends. Family quarrels. There are too many misunderstandings with the wife, with the children, with the boss.

But the most painful thing is not understanding yourself.

-Who am i? Where did you come from? Where and why am I going?

Some questions. There are no answers. True answers. Others' answers do not count - it is only the appearance of a solution. Temporary. There are no answers in the outside world. Asking myself - I was not taught. And it's scary. There is silence and darkness. In yourself. It’s scary to be convinced that I am emptiness.

When it dawned on me that life was far from sugar. That suffering and pleasure, in it, are equally divided. In the best possible hands. Then I decided to do with her as with my favorite book. I decided to present it. Give away piece by piece. To your children, wife, business, pleasures devoid of meaning. It didn't get better. It turned out that life cannot be given. You can only understand it or continue to live with an inner emptiness. That, success or failure in life is not life itself. That my ideas about life are the cause of suffering and inner emptiness.

Next to me I saw people who are tormented with their lives and blame it for everything.

“I was born in the wrong place and at the wrong time,” they say, “I didn’t get as much intelligence, money, success as was necessary. My parents, ordinary people, did not give me a brilliant education. Circumstances were not in my favor. My karma does not allow me to count on success in this life.

Despondency. The state in which these people are. Blaming his own life for everything. They are forced to live in society. Like billiard balls waiting to be hit. Stimulus is a reaction. What is called change. This, for them, is life. According to their ideas.

Next to me I see people who rely only on their own strength. They work hard and risk a lot. They themselves initiate change and win. Outwardly it is. They are respectable, they are lucky, they are successful. They commit adultery. They have earned the right to do what they love. True, loved ones, it was earlier. That is why adultery … Now, more of a habit. True, in the position of an adulterer, there are more worldly advantages than a sad person.

- I have put so much effort and energy to achieve the best in life, - complains the adulterer, - I have all the attributes of a respectable person. I, I did not stop for a second, I always relied on my own strength. I have achieved a lot, but I am afraid to be alone with myself.

Inner emptiness. An ailment that strikes equally those who are in despondency and those who are in adultery.

Internal emptiness, it is like a bottomless pit. No matter how you throw it at it, it remains empty. An adulterer, achieving one desire after another, feels satisfaction only for a short time. Then it leaves him. Leaving alone with emptiness.

People are playing a game. Everyone, to the best of their ingenuity. One after another, one after another, the set goals are being realized. I wonder if a person had lived not a century, but two, three or four, how quickly would it have dawned on him that this was just a game? That life requires other actions? What external well-being is only a means for an internal dialogue with oneself, for self-recognition?

People try to escape from the inner emptiness by different ways. Some try to live for others: relatives, loved ones, like-minded people. Others live for the sake of their favorite business, work. Someone is saved in pleasures: sex, sports, passion. Someone "falls" into religion, into esotericism, into spirituality. Some run into creativity, into scientific activity, while others create an imaginary world for themselves and move there. This is an escape. It lets you forget. But it has nothing to do with internal dialogue.

There are those who have walked along these paths. Tried everything. I opened the illusion and found myself in silence. Desires fall silent. Motives, being realized, do not work. Calm. Full. Terrible condition. A person does not know what else to do with his own life. After all, the main question remained unanswered.

The inner emptiness that goes next to a person requires a dialogue. Needs a relationship. No matter how scary. And it will be scary. Fearfully. Because internal dialogue destroys a person's ideas about himself.

He who knows himself examines the image. This image is a mediator. Between reality and how a person presents himself. This image, this representation - will change, forever, as a result of internal dialogue. After all representation is what our thought has created through the efforts of the imagination. And only thanks to the power of imagination, we consider the idea of ourselves - a reality.

There is no point in lying distribution is hard work … The presentation hits the patient himself. Self-esteem. Deservedly. By my own "I". This path, a person goes alone. Like birth and death. Only the conductor walks nearby. Someone who is able to show direction and talk about opportunities. Nearby, but only at the beginning. Further, the person goes by himself.

Not a single teacher, mentor, educator, guru, knowing, possessing - is not able to mediate in a person's dialogue with himself.

Distribution gives a person the ability to end internal and external conflicts. In sequence. In the inner space, free from conflict, there is a dialogue with life, a dialogue with oneself.