Self-love. The Pitfalls Of Shame

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I notice how my little son treats himself well and what he produces. He likes his photos, videos, where he is fooling around, he really likes his jokes and pictures. I like the reflection in the mirror. This is how small children are. They accept and love themselves.

Unless, of course, they live in a warmer atmosphere. And after all, then nothing seems to change much, but how few adults who love and accept themselves. The experience of this little child in himself has to be sought for years by someone who wanted to love himself again. With the patience of a fisherman, one must catch him bit by bit in the murky waters of shame, disappointment, anger and pain. It’s even hard to grasp what it’s like to love yourself. And without waiting for a bite, you can accidentally confuse self-loathing with love.

What does it mean to go on an unpleasant diet or eat whatever you see? What does it mean to exhaust yourself with training or lying on the couch? What does it mean to never leave the house without makeup or not strain to be beautiful? What does it mean to always help others or to do only what comes to mind without looking back?

These are polarities in which self-love does not live, no matter how it looks from the outside.

This is revenge on myself and others for the imperfection that caused so much pain. Imperfection for which you are ashamed, for which you were ashamed. And this shame has no end. It's a shame to work hard, it's a shame when a man provides, it's a shame to talk and it's a shame to restrain yourself, it's a shame to ask for help and to be independent, it's a shame to think about dresses and it's a shame to read too much. And the search for the golden mean in the coordinates of shame has failed.

How to get out into another dimension?

True love is about joyfully caring for yourself and wanting to share your joy with others. Taking pleasure in taking care of herself, a woman will not think about diets and deny herself food, but just as a mother cannot feed her beloved child with unhealthy and stale products, so she will not want to do this with herself.

You will want to please yourself with something pleasant and useful, develop yourself, take care of yourself, and this will come from your soul. Self-love is difficult to play, because every rule is violence, and love is about self-acceptance. But our world is so arranged that most adults need to re-search for this love in themselves.

And it is good when in this search there is support from the one who has already caught a little in his muddy water, the one who begins to love and accept himself.