NOT YOUR LIFE

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The feeling of fatigue that constantly accumulates in our life over the years is more and more reminiscent of tightly packed luggage, which is scary to open - you cannot pack it back, as it was, and the final destination of the journey is still far away. And we are with this feeling already as we should, not realizing the natural unwelcomeness of such a neighborhood. Every year we acquire new worries, new problems and no longer distinguish which ones are ours and which ones we have taken on because of our sacrificial naive negligence. Over time, apathy grows to the growing feeling of fatigue, and soon the cutie-laziness, whether we like it or not, more and more often lingers in our life as an uninvited guest, occupying useful living space in a cozy, uninvited company

We are strained by this obsessive neighborhood, but we tolerate, because to expel is a bad form. We have been taught so, we must endure. But no one ever explained why and what exactly we should endure, and what to drive from the yard and slam the gates. There comes a time when what was recently given and done easily is now a feat on a schedule. Of course, everything can be attributed to age, workload and other superficial reasons. It may seem to us that some event, some person, some circumstances are to blame. But in fact, the reason is much deeper. After all, earlier there were also troubles, misunderstandings, disappointments and defeats. One of the wonderful features of our life is that they are always there, at any stage of our life - this is part of our experience, which is especially vivid in contrasts. But now it seems to us that before we had more strength, we were younger, carefree, etc. To some extent, yes. But an important part of this magical "before" was actually the fact that we were actively learning about OUR life.

Yes, there have always been those who constantly and systematically intervened in it, who stubbornly insisted on certain postulates, set standards, rules and a variety of "can-nots". We are accustomed to frames and limitations to a much greater extent than to our own path, responsibility for it, our decisions, and for setting life priorities. In reality, our annoying "companions" are not an evil that must be fought. More precisely … there is no need to fight them. Yes, there is no typo or misprint here. It is like relieving symptoms without eliminating the cause of the disease. All our medicine is symptomatic. Yes, no one is treating anyone in fact, they remove already obvious, painful symptoms, but no one is treating the cause. Our medicine cuts a person in parts and does not consider it as an integral, single being, where everything is interconnected with everything and does not exist separately. It's the same with our lives. Without looking for reasons, relieving symptoms is only a temporary measure, so do not be surprised at the soon return of "old friends". Our body is very wise, it is a finely tuned mechanism, which has its own extensive signaling system, which is always tuned to us and our needs, unlike us, unfortunately, we are tuned in to anything and anyone, but not to ourselves, our body and internal balance.

We lose and exchange ourselves easily and carelessly. Constant fatigue, apathy, laziness and depression are a protective reaction of the body, which signals that … you are not living your life. The atavistic paradox of human nature is that people live more willingly than their own, inventing for themselves (or already taking someone for their own) good reasons for this. But - not supporting any reason in favor of his own, one and only life. In favor of yourself. Building your priorities for anyone and for anything, just not for yourself. Selflessly sacrificing myself, my life "for the sake of", "for", "because", "but I can't do otherwise" … - it's just a game of hide and seek with my life, which inexorably turns into a conveyor of cliches, norms, dogmas, programs, stereotypes, other people's opinions and reactions, fears, inertia and … eternal search. And there is no need to look for anything, everything is in ourselves. It is enough to show respect and attention to yourself, not to be afraid to ask about your needs, to take time for yourself, your abandoned, suppressed, hidden emotions and desires, not to be afraid to make a choice, not to defend your opinion, to show your feelings, to insist on your own, on that what is right and necessary for yourself, to hear your inner voice, to see the numerous signs and signals that are constantly present around. Fearfully? Yes, it’s scary.

It is scary to reckon with oneself more than reckon with others. From early childhood, we were diligently instilled in the chiseled postulates of the permissible, which we selflessly and successively inculcated further on to our children. We are used to a sense of multiple boundaries and limitations. Their sudden disappearance can cause attacks of panic fear: "What to do now?" How to live with this ability to be free? … Our criteria for life, concepts, perception and ideas, of course, are important and necessary, but if you do not prejudice to observe children, you understand how many of them are artificially created, certainly acquired, indisputably, and have grown into our life, into our cells and atoms.

We are uncomfortable, but we bend, push ourselves under them, because "everyone lives like this" or we just want to correspond to these "everyone", because we were taught to "correspond", but were not taught to resist, did not instill skills and abilities to be ourselves, they did not teach to love, did not talk about the power and goodness of love, about honor and self-esteem, which should be one of the main measures of our actions. Because the ability to respect oneself gives rise to the ability to respect in a person, as a principle of interaction in society. Time changes, it requires us, our changes, our dynamism, our participation, and we … do not have time. We are mired in other people's lives, we have hoisted on ourselves a lot of far-fetched, our own and not our own problems and tasks, we have not distinguished for a long time where our experience, lesson, our situation, and where - someone's. We excel at immersion and sinking skills, we skillfully block and inhibit ourselves and equally skillfully others.

We "hang" on conflicting environments and feelings within us - inherent, natural input and acquired, forced data. And then we wait and suffer when someone comes and restarts, reboots our "system", being habitually focused on expecting something from someone, or from something - an amazing miracle, while continuing to invariably live in crystallized, but "appropriate", "like everyone else" way, propping up his life with other people's crutches. We were carefully and skillfully instilled in many lengthy judgments about "egoism", raking under it everything that is not herd, everything that is not "like people", not "like everyone else", depersonalizing and devaluing a person in front of himself and his own, unique life. Because it is so convenient for the masses, so convenient for those who manage it, so convenient for everyone who is used to manipulating, everyone who is used to shifting responsibility onto other people's shoulders, who likes to be significant at someone's expense, who has a lot of ambitions and a minimum of productive ones. and constructive deeds.

This is convenient for those who have more claims and consumerism than respect and bestowal, who glorify unfreedom and are proud of their devotion to ever-changing values and dogmas, unspoken fears and poorly concealed dependence on other people's opinions and condemnation of the faceless "what people will say". The very word "egoism" has long gained multi-tasking popularity for its blurriness, substitutable flexibility and highly adaptive ability to fit into any uncomfortable form of behavior that breaks the usual way of life. And those few who decide to live their own lives, who suddenly, realizing the value and primary significance of their life, decide, make a choice to find themselves in their own life, do not remain unnoticed by the keen, incinerating eye of the "righteous public", angrily condemned as if it were directly their personal, bloodshed, personal insult, a slap in the face of their social “normality”.

How many people can say that they feel, what they were born for, that they do their own thing, love what they do, to whom their world brings satisfaction and joy? How many people are filled with their own lives, how many joyful and positive people? How many people do not need surrogate movers for their implementation? How many are able to remain themselves, to be sincere, to be benevolent? How many are able to discern the sacrifice that is favorably inculcated in them from the pure call of the heart? How many distinguish where they are skillfully used, and they condone this, and where is their sincere choice, in this case, which does not drain or take away strength, because pure intention is always replenished and supported from Above, does not steal our strength, but only strengthens them? How many people enter into relationships with the intention of giving rather than receiving? And how many are able to give without showing dividends for their "works"? But these are the people who are most feared and shunned. It is these people who are the least cherished.

It is these who are easy to hurt, because their openness disposes and shows weakness, nourished by the conveyor qualities of an obedient crowd. But it is precisely such people that everyone is waiting for in their lives and they are afraid to be such themselves. So where do they come from, if they do not become themselves those desirable, warm, necessary, loving, sincere, courageous, able to respect themselves, and therefore their neighbor? … Scary? Why? After all, how quickly will the world, which everyone hayat and curse, be transformed if, at the same time, at least 20% of the conscious population of the planet wants in itself - not in someone! - bright changes.

They will decide to shine, not block the light, give at least as much as they consume, be grateful, able to love and not hide their feelings, not be afraid to make a choice, appreciate, respect themselves and their life more than they are able to value and respect other. Your life is a Gift. Gift to you. You are pleased when your sincere gift made from the bottom of your heart, which you tenderly and carefully selected a specific person, after a very short time … was given to another by him? I have never met such a person. But that's what you do with your life. And what happens? Few people understand what to do with their life, their Gift, and how it is sensible and full to dispose of it, and here you still threw your life to him, pathetically sacrificing it. He, with his, does not know what to do, and what to do with your "victim" - and even more so. And if he does, then he will certainly find her not yours, but his own understanding and use.

But in the end, you accuse the “generously gifted” by you of a non-existent crime, and you cannot forgive him that he did not appreciate your gift, not grateful. Sorry … but you just got rid of your life, placing it on top of someone else's life. Everyone, I will emphasize this word, - everyone - is given a life, his own, unique life! Not for "overdining". Everyone has this gift. Each of them is given their own unique characteristics, their own unique tools for realizing their life path, their goals and objectives. But as soon as we gain access to conscious being, we very quickly, according to a knurled pattern, along a given trajectory, completely voluntarily "write out an indulgence" of our life, selflessly sacrificing it to someone who is just as generously gifted from Above his own, the same as each of us, a unique, unique life, with its own unique experience, unique tasks, features, physical, psycho-emotional, mental.

We are so successful in this irresponsibility for our lives that we nurture and sing this imaginary, albeit completely voluntary, sacrifice, while demanding a return bonus, gratitude, attention and approval for it. But in fact, 90% of the generally accepted requirements for sacrifice or its demonstration is a typical flight. From yourself, your life and the realization of the inherent opportunities. Yes, someone was born to sacrifice himself and his life, selflessly and selflessly. And such people make history, even a small drop in the ocean, regardless of whether history knows about them or not. Because for true, sincere sacrifice, the recognition of the crowd and the name carved in the centuries as a reward are not needed. This is the feeling of your path just like that. Live your life, you were born for this.

Nobody came here by mistake, whether their life is clear to you or not, and whether it fits into your idea of what someone's life should be like or not. Each has something that is inherent only to him, and only he can weave his unique thread into the universal fabric. Do not confuse threads, do not weave knots, do not create congestion or redrawn, patched scars. No matter how scary you are, how confusing and incomprehensible everything may seem in your life or with your life, you have two invaluable, reliable, finely tuned tools. A heart. Your most loyal friend, your intuition, conscience and advisor. If you do not know what to do, how to act, pay attention to how you feel about it. The solution will be on the surface. The matter is small - your readiness and determination. Sincerity. Sincerity is the best measure, the most reliable indicator.