2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Many people think that the phrase "All diseases are from the nerves" is just a funny pun. But in fact, it contains the whole essence of such a direction in medicine and psychology as psychosomatics (from the Greek "psycho" - soul, "soma" - body). Psychosomatics suggests that many (if not all) diseases have a psychological background. Today in the article I will talk about what unrecognized psychological reasons can be in a woman who cannot get pregnant, let's talk about the psychosomatics of infertility.
So, what could be the reasons:
1) Fear of pregnancy, childbirth, death
Once, perhaps in childhood, a little girl heard from her mother or grandmother how hard their pregnancy was, what were the complications, how painful the birth was. This frightened the child so much that she set herself a prohibition "Do not give birth!"
2) Fear of giving birth to a sick, dead child, a child with disabilities, fear of miscarriage
As in the previous paragraph, once the girl found out about the case of the birth of a sick child or a child with congenital abnormalities and she was so impressed that she decided to avoid such a fate through infertility.
3) Unwillingness to have a child from THIS man
When a woman married not for love, but because it was "time", or because a man is good, when on a conscious level she is generally happy with her husband, but unconsciously does not see him as a potential father for her child. Or scandals in the family, a tense situation in the house, a lack of a sense of their own safety next to their spouse.
4) Fear of failure, like a mother, fear of responsibility
A child is a big responsibility, he needs proper care, he needs care and love. If a woman internally feels that she is not ready, she is afraid to take responsibility for the life of a little man, then this can become a barrier to pregnancy.
5) Instability
Financial instability, instability in general, in the political atmosphere in the country, crisis, constant moving - all this can cause unwillingness to give birth to a child in adverse external conditions, domestic disorder, uncertainty in relationships, uncertainty about the future.
6) Rejection of their feminine nature
If the parents wanted a boy, but a girl was born, she was brought up like a son (dad went fishing with her, repaired cars in the garage, scolded for tears), then in the future such a girl may unconsciously treat her pregnancy as a "confession" in the fact that she, nevertheless, contrary to the wishes of her parents, is a girl. Or when she plays the role of the "head of the family" in marriage: she has the main income, she controls everything, she plays the role of a man-earner - a change of roles in the family.
7) Fear of your helplessness
The woman's fear that after giving birth she will become dependent on her man, will not be able to work for some time, the fear of being abandoned in such a helpless position.
8) Fear of ruining your body, figure
So, an attractive-looking girl, accustomed to attention, may be afraid to spoil her figure during and after pregnancy, stretch marks, fear of gaining weight, spoil the shape of her breasts.
9) Psychological trauma
Often a girl does not want to give birth to a child, because her childhood was so terrible, there was so much pain in it that she does not want the same for her baby. The perception of childhood as a period of helplessness, powerlessness, pain, suffering, and from all this, you want to save your potential baby so that he does not experience this. Or the lack of mental and spiritual strength after such childhood for upbringing, taking care of the child, in order to show tenderness, sensitivity, the desire to endure the whims of the baby.
10) Negative suggestions and self-hypnosis
The girl could hear that pregnant women are selfish or fat toddlers, or hysterical, or unbalanced. Or she could independently come to negative associations related to pregnancy (for example, after the statement that a pregnant woman swallowed a watermelon). Pregnancy itself is associated with something unpleasant, indecent, not correct, not natural.
11) Shame, guilt
Probably, the sexual act itself is perceived as something shameful, as a sin, the attitude towards sex as something obscene. When parents in childhood overdid it with "sex education", warning the beginning of a girl's sex life, "God forbid, bring it in the hem, suddenly you get pregnant!" Pregnancy is associated with the culpability of violating previous prohibitions.
12) Self-punishment
When the desired pregnancy does not occur due to the fact that a woman unknowingly punishes herself for any imaginary flaws, she expiates the guilt for something done.
13) Resentment towards your mother
When the very word "mom" is associated with offense, tyranny, control. The feeling of hatred, hostility, condemnation of one's own mother causes reluctance to enter this role, accompanied by a blockade of pregnancy.
14) Secondary benefits from a childless lifestyle
Unwillingness to change your way of life, your usual way of life, unwillingness to change the daily routine to suit the needs of the child. Unwillingness to accept a new "settled" life, to part with freedom, independence, independence.
It is important to take into account that the psychological causes of female (and male - too) infertility are often unconscious, lying in the unconscious, therefore, only a specialist psychologist will help to identify the real cause of infertility. On your own, you can start by examining your beliefs about getting pregnant, imagine how your life will change with the advent of a child. And what do you like about your current lifestyle, which will no longer be after the birth of the baby? Explore your fears and concerns.
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