2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Your man doesn't tell you all sorts of niceties. Is it really that bad? If a woman loves only with her ears, other organs remain unused …
After reading the title, many girls will want to beat me. Or, at worst, throw rotten tomatoes. Or, at worst, make an angry speech about the fact that women are smart too. There are. Agree. But I have no goal at all to exacerbate the competition between the sexes.
I'll start from afar. As in a well-known song about female happiness it is sung so that he does not drink - he does not smoke, he speaks of love, he wore it in his arms, etc.
In general, one of the characteristic features of our Russian post-Soviet mentality is the following trait, raised almost to the rank of merits: so as not to drink, not to smoke. And many generations subconsciously carry this prescribed framework. That is, a man can be a stupid, sloppy, limited parasite, sitting on your neck, humiliating and even sometimes beating you, but, most importantly, HE DOESN'T DRINK AND DOESN'T SMOKE !!!
When one of the first times I got divorced, the judge really didn't understand why I filed for divorce. One of the arguments for preserving the marriage was: well, he DOESN'T DRINK, DOESN'T SMOKE, WHAT STILL YOU NEED? !!!
That is, this judge sincerely DIDN'T UNDERSTAND why I didn’t want to live with this person. Then, all so refined and vulnerable, I thought that there was no need to throw beads. And now I understand that while there are no clear criteria for what you want from the man who is next to you, you will not get it.
And then we follow the path of least resistance. That is, we will shamefully introduce ourselves to words
Remember the wonderful cartoon "I'll give you a star!" in which a woman throughout her life strenuously hang noodles on her ears. As a result, she finds herself face to face with her difficulties and problems.
I very often hear from my clients, and not only from them, that their men do not pay enough attention to them, do not give flowers, do not talk about love, do not walk them under the moon, and so on.
When I ask a question about how they live, it turns out that her husband / boyfriend feeds her, dresses her, waits at home from work / school, solves the eternal female problem called “hammering a nail” (no, no, no !!! Old Freud has nothing to do with it, and sometimes a banana is just a banana, not a phallic symbol! We are talking about BANAL NAILING INTO THE WALL TO REDUCE A LITTLE SHELF, AND NOT ABOUT THAT MUCH !!!)
Besides, she is not cold in bed on long winter evenings. When she goes somewhere, he sees her off and meets her, even in the middle of the night. Even if he is silent for days on end, without looking up from the monitor, still the FEELING OF A MAN IN THE HOUSE is present. If suddenly in the middle of the night someone bangs at your door, then if he does not rise up to ask “Who is there? And what do you need?”, Then at least you won't be so scared to go back to bed.
If, having come home from work after another conflict with colleagues / bosses, in anger and indignation, you begin to tell him everything, not even counting on the magic: “Darling, leave this gadyushnik, stay at home, bring up our children!”, You still understand that there is at least one living soul who will listen to you !!! Even without looking up from your computer!
How many outraged words about male "inattention" I have heard! He is such a creep, forgot the date of our meeting with him! Wedding date! My birthday! That wonderful date when my beloved dog lost its innocence !!!, etc.
How many times have I asked the question: what do you want? And she received a completely predictable answer: so that he would remember all this, speak, give flowers for dates, and so on. Then I ask the following question: what is more important to you that he SPEAKS, AHAL AND REMEMBER, or that he really was your soul mate?
When there is too much SPEAKING and tinsel around this, too often it turns into a situation like: before the wedding he was alone, and now I live with a stranger !!!
Girls! Start separating the wheat from the chaff! (that is, flies - separately, cutlets - separately!) What is more important to you: window dressing or the present state of affairs? Men have different values and priorities. They are more focused on how to kill the mammoth, rather than with what beautiful words they will throw it at your feet. They are more concerned not with how to poke around with you on the topic “what a fool, a bitch and a gossip,” but what you should do in order not to step on the same rake!
I am deeply outraged by the conventional wisdom that "women love with their ears." What is it, are we women such fools that anyone can hum to us anything and we are already deprived of the will to make independent decisions ?! No, of course, we ourselves are independent and can be not only beautiful, but also smart! Then why do we so enter into empty words and do not see actions ??? !!!
What do you think is the best criterion for our intentions?
This is the RESULT. If I say that I want to be a friend of an oligarch, but in fact I live with a physics teacher and bring up our common children, then, REALLY, I want to be the wife of a physics teacher. If I say that I want to be the head of at least a department, but in fact I can barely cope with the tasks of a sales manager or a secretary, then my true intention is described in the last words. And no explanations on the topic that "unhappy fate" do not work. So, I REALLY WANT IT.
If I say that it is not the first year / ten years that I have not lived at all with the hero of my novel, but a real PRINCE ON A WHITE HORSE has not yet appeared in my life, then my subconscious mind thus protects me from rose-colored glasses and lost illusions …
How many tears have been shed, and how many destinies have been crippled just because the sweet-voiced Prince successfully sat down on trusting female ears? “Darling, you are the best and understand me like no one else! Well, I don’t have money today, but tomorrow they will definitely be!”,“Darling, be patient a little longer, I will soon divorce this grymza and we will go to a small house on the ocean shore!”. Doesn't it look like anything? "I'll give you a star!"
Girls, shake the noodles off your ears!
Perceive not words, but look at facts. And decide what is more important for you: sweet, but empty speeches and, as a result, a grandiose bummer, or, "an old soldier who does not know the words of love", from whom you will not get an extra word, but reliable?
Look at the facts, listen to your inner voice, and your intuition will not fool you!
Recommended:
Why Do Women Hate Women?
The most terrible, most disgusting product of the patriarchal system is internal misogyny. Hatred of women towards women. There is no female solidarity. We demand punishment for those who have stumbled, we blame the victims, we cripple the psyche of our daughters "
About Female Destiny. Stop Doing Nonsense
A girl in her thirties comes to see me, has a successful career, but is not married and has no children. I just broke up with my boyfriend, with whom they lived together for 3 years, they were planning a marriage. How did you plan? She went to women's trainings, trained her "
Why Men Are No Longer Men And Women Are Women. Psychoanalytic View
In the modern world, we are seeing changes in both male and female functions. Men have become more feminine, infantile and passive. They stopped taking responsibility for themselves and their families. For women, being successful and socially active becomes more important, and family and children are relegated to the background .
Why Do Women Get Divorced After Women's Trainings? Part 2
Are you an intelligent, educated, young, purposeful beauty who has achieved a lot in this life? But personal life is somehow not happy? Do men either sit on your head, or scatter as soon as you start talking? Have you already attended many trainings and master classes to change something in your personal life?
About Women's Condemnation, Women's Fear Of Women, Women's Trauma And Its Healing
The topic of this text has long been in the air for me, in client sessions, in what I observe in society, in some of my personal matters, and that's when I saw the video “Be a Lady. They said”and its great resonance, I decided to write my thoughts on the topic of women's condemnation, women's fear of women, women's trauma and its healing.