Business Lady, Woven From Infantilism. Cruel Romance

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Independence. Responsibility. The control. The men in your life are subservient. This is understandable, it comes from Your status, since you are the boss. From life, because you are its mistress. The mistress of her life, and at the same time, of other people's lives too

And where is the infantilism?

After all, an infantile person belongs to another. And you…. Yes, you have the whole world in your pocket, everyone breathes only by your order and you know all "their" (children, spouse, household members) adventures. Educate everyone and educate! They completely got out of hand. You know exactly how to act for them, those, others. Those for whom you are Responsible. After all, you have achieved everything. Another would have smashed her forehead, and you would be fresh and cheerful. In public, for the most part. But they, people, will appreciate Your achievements properly.

Yes, in childhood you yourself sometimes "dishonored" your parents. What did your mother have to endure a brand new skirt soiled by you, in which you should meet guests. You often ran without a hat, and the snow was still lying. And mom, pushing on you (with anger for some reason), dear cap, shamed you and scolded you about the fact that people would say that your mother does not dress you, that a poor family, that a homeless girl is growing!

What will they think of her? That mother is bad? What does not bring up? Doesn't care? She would be ready to love and pamper her daughter, obedient and obedient to her will. And not such a slob as you, losing pens and notebooks, forgetting apples in a briefcase, which rot there, dropping delicious food on clean-washed floors, and so on, so on, so forth.

And mom, your beloved and dear mom is ready to love you when you obey and behave as you should. To fall in love with such an ideal daughter, as an extension of herself. Better even than herself. And it is certainly better than the daughter of this impudent woman living opposite, whose children are like pictures. Rosy, obedient and in bows. They go to dances and study perfectly well.

Every now and then they set you up as an example and you go out of your way to match. Oh no, not like that. You in your little years do not know such words. You climb out of your skin to be loved. Burning, unbearable desire to be "good." Get a smile, approval, and praise. Love. You know for sure that you love Mom. You can't help but love.

This is vital to you. You can't survive without your mom. Her love for you is the key to your survival. What if mom is gone? You are ready to give your life for her, because children always love their mothers. This unconscious desire, completely selfish (EgoCentric), comes from "considerations" (Instinct) of one's own safety.

You are part of it. You are not able to survive in early childhood on your own. Therefore, children almost always give their lives for their parents. Or health (a mild form of "dying"), being sick, so that mommy would give love "just like that."

How many years will you continue to prove to your mom that you deserve her love by doing what was expected of you in your childhood? So to be the best? The most educated, the most - the most?

Or to prove that "Mom, you were wrong" by doing exactly the opposite?

To prove this or that every day with your life, your successes, your own daughter. Prove even when mom is no longer with you. Not in this world.

I will say a cruel thing, as cynical as reality itself. For whom it is difficult now, click the red cross in the corner of the screen, and do not go further.

Parents DO NOT always love their children. And, strictly speaking, at an unconscious level, they are not ready to give their lives for them, no matter what they say with an outburst of their feelings. This is not provided by evolution, not programmed. This is not rational.

Based on our "animal" half of the psyche, what is the point of leaving a child who alone (without a mother) will not survive? What if mom has more children who also won't survive if mom gives her life to one of her children? Doom them all?..

The social aspects of childbirth can also be attributed to cynical and cruel things. Mothers give birth to babies often because they need to. Flew in. The time has come. It happens so that she (a woman giving birth) is loved. So that the husband loved or the child who is not yet born. How does a woman dream of being loved? I give birth and will be only mine!

"I give birth for myself." There is more truth here than it seems. They almost always give birth for themselves, not for a child, with whom the girl who carries it is still unfamiliar with it. And the mother-to-be is preparing for a new role as a mother. Note, ITS role. The scenario of her happy motherhood, perhaps, is already painted in detail, and you … And you dishonor her! Don't wear a hat! Stupid!

You can run away from your mom when you grow up. At least married, for example. What's bad? You have YOUR family. Its! You left your mother, you can do whatever you want! And you basically don’t wear hats, except maybe headscarves.

But the connection between yours and your mother is switched to a relationship with your man. Trying to control him, holding him "on a tight leash", "on a leash", you simply do not let your mother go. You control him like your mother used to control you. You try to be perfect for him. As before for mommy. You try to make it perfect, so that everyone envies in society. You make the same demands on him as your mother did for you.

And your man, cheating on you (unthinkable for an ideal relationship, isn't it?) Shows you that you can actually get out of parental control. There would be a desire. And a drop of courage to be yourself, not perfect. You, remaining faithful, cry bitter tears over your destiny ….. And according to your … Not ideality.

Then, in the middle of life, having stuffed cones, you want to be loved without judgment. Such as it is. The way they did not love even in childhood, and therefore the longing for such a total acceptance is alive until your adulthood, when you finally want complete and non-judgmental acceptance. Although…. Even though you are an adult now, it is possible that you do not know these words either. You want to be loved, always. If you're NOT even good. And you madly want to tell your man that yes, "I'm such a bitch, and I'm proud of it." Let him take it. "Love me for who I am." Since my mother could not. "I want some pens" - that's what it's called.

And this can happen! Why not! For that brief happy moment when you allow yourself to be less than ideal!

And then ….. Then your relationship …. Well, what can I say? You can spoil them yourself. A great craftswoman to control everything and lead everything! Start the process yourself so that you don't get ahead of you. So that the circumstances do not get out of your control. You are so afraid of losing him! His! Which is finally real! And … Loves, it seems … Such a bitch …

Your fear of suddenly losing it, losing it, is many times stronger than the joy of intimacy. From your fear, you start to become good, like with your mother. What if love is taken away? What if he didn't see that you were such a bitch !? What if he will not be able to withstand your bitterness for so long? No, we urgently need to comply! As Mommy taught. Become good. Perfect!

Or maybe ….. Maybe, in order not to get used to your happiness …. Perhaps better…. Destroy everything? But she herself, and under her control.

Who do you belong to? To yourself?

For yourself ….. Do you bring up your children, especially daughters, as an extension of Yourself? Or maybe your Mom? …

Let's speculate about this. How old was your mom when she gave birth? You? And why did she "do this"? Could this young lady (she was probably less years old than you are now, since you are reading these lines), could this girl understand all the wisdom of upbringing?

It was most likely due to society. What people will say. It bothered her. Scarecrow. She wanted to be good. And please your parents and husband and mother-in-law. Perceived you little, as her "work of art". I took you "to the exhibition", to all sorts of "assessment activities" in order to get recognition by the MOST. On a visit, to the kindergarten, and so on. Everywhere the baby was asked "whose are you?" Well, and of course all the calls and bumps went to your mom.

Rude girl? Not combed? Without a hat? Mom is to blame!

Listen again, or rather, remember exactly how you were "brought up".

How much is said about YOU? Or do you have to be the "best" to praise YOUR MOTHER for the shock work of giving birth and raising an impeccable child?

I assume that if you wondered this question, then you were practicing the techniques of forgiveness. Let me tell you that if you do not understand a person, then it is difficult to forgive. Having understood, you forgive from the heart. And not understanding, you do not execute, but "have mercy". "Well, yes, I forgive … What happened is gone," and in my throat a lump of resentment, which did not let go.

Now you may be older than your mother. Financially independent. You carry her groceries and gifts … … every time you look into her eyes how much you please her. Waiting for approval. And praise. You choose all your purchases not to your taste, but to your mother's. Periodically swallowing your wedge of resentment when you fail again. I bought it wrong and packed it wrong. Not everything is perfect. Again and again.

Do you know what I want to say in your ear? Usually the people around you…. DON'T LOVE ideal people very much. They are like a knife in their hearts, because they remind them of their own imperfection. Become ideal, and it is with YOU that other people's mothers will compare their careless daughters. And they will quietly hate you - such an impeccable mother's pride.

Take a look at your MOTHER. She was the whole world for you, your Universe, the omnipotent Goddess, whose word and will is the LAW. Now, perhaps, you are a little bit (or much) older than that of your mother from your two years of age. Does she still have the whole world? Who is she now, for you as an adult?

You still love her with all your soul, with all your heart. Children cannot help but love their parents, they have to do it. But is this the Almighty Goddess who ensures your existence, to which you need to be accountable? Belong to her? Does she (your mother) still need it?

Has nothing changed since your childhood?

Are you still Her Priestess?