6 Cruel Truths That Will Make You Better

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

This article will knock the ground out from under your feet and make your head work

The article about what the world really needs from us and what we should do received almost 300,000 likes and almost 8,000 comments. And this despite the fact that the volume of the text is impressive, and the American author David Wong writes about not the most pleasant things.

What he talks about causes emotional discomfort, protest, indignation, but at the same time the realization that he is saying things that would really help us change, become better, more useful, more successful.

We at Bright Side have translated it all for you, without cuts and abbreviations. It turned out a lot, but we really advise you to spend a little of your time on it.

Understand already, finally, something important in your life.

You don't have to read any further if your career is taking off, your own life is taking over, and you have a happy relationship. Have a nice day, friend, this article is not for you, we are all proud of you.

As for the rest, I want you to try something: Name five impressive facts about yourself. Write them down or just shout them out to the whole room. If you have any difficulties, the article is for you, and it will, damn it, piss you off.

6. The world only cares about what it can get from you

Let's assume that the person you love the most in the world has just been shot. Lies in the street, bleeding and screaming. A guy comes up and tells you "Move away." He examines the wound of your loved one and takes out a penknife - he is going to operate right on the street.

You ask, "Are you a doctor?" He answers: "No." You say, "But you know what you're doing, right?"

At this moment, the guy loses his temper. He says that he is good, honest, that he always comes on time. He reports that he is a great son, his life is full of exciting hobbies, and he also takes pride in the fact that he never swears.

You're confused, “What a fucking meaning it all has when my love lies here and bleeds! I need someone who knows how to operate on gunshot wounds! Can you or not?!?"

And now the guy starts agitating - why are you so superficial and selfish? What do you want? Don't care about all these excellent qualities? Didn't you hear what he told you that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? And in light of all this cool stuff, does it really matter if he knows how to operate?

At that moment, you jump up, grab him by the shoulders with your bloody hands, shake him and yell, “Yeah, none of this shit matters, because this is a special situation and I need someone who can stop the bleeding, you fucking sick bastard.

And here it is, my terrible thing about the adult world: you are in exactly the same situation every single day. And you are the guy with the penknife, and society is the bleeding victim of the shooting.

If you want to know why society seems to be shunning you, or why you are not respected, it is because society is full of people who need something. They need built houses, they need food, they need entertainment, they need satisfying sexual relationships. And you arrived at the scene of an emergency with a penknife in your hand, simply by virtue of your birth - the moment you enter this world, you become part of a system designed strictly to listen to the needs of people.

Either you get bogged down on the task of "listening to the needs of people" and earn a unique set of skills, or the world will kick you in the ass. It doesn't matter how kind, generous and polite you are. You will be poor, you will be lonely, you will be put out in the cold.

Does it seem cruel, primitive, or materialistic? How about love and kindness - don't they mean anything? Of course they do. As long as they are a consequence of the fact that you are doing to people something that they cannot get elsewhere.

5. The hippies were wrong

Here is the greatest scene in the history of cinema. This is the famous speech by Alec Baldwin from the movie Glengarry Glenn Ross (“The Americans” in Russian - Bright Side). Baldwin's character - you mistake him for a villain - turns to a room full of guys and rips their asses on the British flag, informing them that they will all be fired if they don't meet the sales target:

"Good guy? I do not care. Great father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. If you want to work here, follow the plan."

It's rude, harsh, and bordering on sociopathy, but it's also an honest and accurate expression of what the world expects of you. The only difference is that in the real world, people think they can't talk to you like that, and they decide that it's much better to just let you get on with it.

This scene from the movie changed my life. Alec Baldwin was nominated for an Oscar for this film - despite the fact that this is the only scene with him. As smart people noticed, the genius of this speech is that half of the audience thinks “Wow, I wonder how it is when your boss is such a brute?”, And the other half thinks, “Damn it, yes! Go and work!"

If you were in that room, some of you would take it as a work process, but anyway, you would be filled with the energy of the message, welcoming the curses, "This guy is awesome!"; while some of you would take it personally, this guy is a bastard, he has no right to talk to me like that. Or - the standard maneuver when narcissism is faced with more force - would quietly resent, fantasizing about finding information that would cast the boss in a negative light.

The difference between the two positions - resentment versus motivation - largely determines whether you succeed in this world or not. Many people want to live up to Tyler Durden's phrase from Fight Club: "You are not your job."

But in general, of course, you are most definitely your job. Yes, your "job" and what you mean by employment may be different things, but in both cases, you are the sum of your useful skills, nothing more. For example, being a mother is a job that requires certain skills. It is something that a person can do to benefit the rest of society. Make no mistake: your "job" - the benefit you bring to other people - is all that you are.

For this reason, surgeons are respected more than comedy writers. For this reason, mechanics are more respected by unemployed hipsters. This is the reason your job will be your label if your death makes the news - NFL defender committed suicide. Tyler said "You're not your job," but he also started a successful soap company and became the leader of an international social and political movement. He was completely his job.

Or think of it this way: Chick-fil-A has been outspoken in its opposition to gay marriage. But despite protests, the company continued to sell millions of sandwiches every day. Not because the States agreed with them, but because they make their delicious sandwiches great. And that's all that matters.

You don't have to like it at all. I don't like it when it rains on my birthday, but it still comes. The clouds formed, the rain happened. People have needs, and through them they evaluate the people they meet. These are simple mechanisms of the universe, and they do not correspond to our desires.

If you are protesting now, saying that you are not a small capitalist and materialist, that you do not agree that money is everything, I will ask only one thing: Who said even a word about money? You are missing something more important.

4. What you do does not have to bring money, it has to benefit people

Let me give you an example not about money that you cannot argue with. I read several dozen stories a year from desperate lonely kids. These guys are outraged that women do not want to be with them, despite the fact that they are the sweetest in the world. I can explain what is wrong with this set of mental attitudes, but Alec Baldwin will again do it much better than me.

In this case, Baldwin plays the role of attractive women. They, of course, do not speak so bluntly and harshly - society teaches us not to be honest with people - but the essence is the same. "Good guy? Who cares? If you want to work here, follow the plan."

"What? Are you saying that I will not have a good girlfriend until I have a good salary and a lot of money?"

No, your brain jumps to such a conclusion that you have an excuse not to take into account anyone who disagrees with you, because he is just superficial and selfish. I ask, what do you suggest? You are smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? Ok, what are you doing to demonstrate these qualities to the world? Don't say you're a good guy - that's not enough. Pretty girls have boyfriends who are nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding out in the street. Do you know how to operate on him or not?

“Well, I'm not sexist, not racist, not greedy, not cruel! Not like the rest of the bastards!"

Sorry, I know this is hard to listen to, but if all you can do is list the flaws you don't have, then fuck the patient. Over there, that witty handsome man with a promising career is ready to operate.

Did it break your heart? Okay, now what? Are you going to mope about this or are you going to study to be a surgeon? Depends on you, but don't complain that girls fall for scum; they fall for bastards because these bastards have something to offer them. "But I am good at listening!" Yes? Because you want to sit quietly instead of getting the chance to be intimate with a pretty girl (and spend every second dreaming about how soft her skin is)? Now imagine that in the life of this girl there is another guy who knows how to listen, and he also plays the guitar.

Saying you're a good guy is like being a restaurant that doesn't sell all kinds of dishes, but just "food that won't poison you." You are like a new movie called "Cinema in English" and the slogan "The actors are clearly visible."

I think this is the reason why you can be a “good guy” and still feel terrible about yourself. Namely…

3. You hate yourself because you don't do anything

"So what? Are you saying that I should read a book on how to find a girlfriend?"

Yes, but only if step one in this book is "Become the person girls want to be with."

This step is always omitted. Always "How can I find a job?" And not "How can I become the person employers dream of?" Always "How do I make beautiful girls like me?" And not "How can I become the one who likes beautiful girls?" See, this is because the second question will most likely require you to tie up many of your favorite hobbies, pay more attention to your appearance, and God knows what else. You may even need to change your personality.

“But why can't I find someone who will love me for who I am?” You ask. Answer: Because people need a lot. The victim is bleeding to death and all you can do is watch and suffer that there are no gunshot wounds in the world that heal on their own.

What's stopping you from putting on your panties and cloak, jumping on stage and waving your penis in public? This guy knows the secret to winning in human life: doing something … is better than not doing it.

"But I'm not good at everything!" Well, I have good news - plenty of repetition time and you can be pretty good at everything. I was the shittiest writer when I was a teenager. I got a little better at 25. And while I was desperately failing my career, I wrote in my spare time for eight years in a row, on an article a week, before I started getting paid for it. It took me 13 years to become a good enough writer to be on the New York Times bestseller list. It took me 20,000 hours of practice to polish my shitty lyrics.

Don't like the prospect of spending all your time learning skills? Well, I have good news and bad news. The good ones - this kind of selfless practice will get you out of your shell - I went through years of boring office work because I knew I was gaining unique skills on the side. People drop out halfway because the results are not immediately visible, because they cannot imagine that the process is the result.

The bad news is you have no choice. If you want to work here, follow the plan.

In my inexperienced opinion, you do not hate yourself because of low self-esteem, not because people are cruel to you. You hate yourself because you are not doing anything. Even you cannot “love yourself the way you are” - which is why you are unhappy and send me private messages asking what you should do with your life.

Solve the problem: How much time do you spend on consumer stuff made by other people (TV, music, video games, websites) instead of doing your own thing? This alone adds value to your existence.

And if you do not like to hear this, if you correspond to the phrase “It is only what is inside you that matters” that you heard in childhood, then I can tell you one thing …

2. What's inside you is important only if it makes you do something

Since I'm in this business, I know a bunch of aspiring writers. They think of themselves that they are writers, they present themselves like that at parties, they realize it deep within themselves, they have writing hearts. The only thing they miss is where their damn works really are.

But does it really matter? What is written is all that matters in determining who is a writer and who is not?

For the love of the Lord, yes.

This is a general method of protection against everything that I have said above and for a long time, and from any voice of criticism in your life. This is the thing that our ego tells us to save us from hard work on ourselves: "I know that I am a good person on the inside." Can also be phrased as “I know who I am” and “I just have to be myself.”

Do not misunderstand me; you are inside - everything. The guy who built a house for his family from scratch and from scrap materials did it because he is like that inside. Any bad deed you did started with a bad impulse, some thought ricocheted inside your skull until you were forced to do it. And any good deed is done according to the same principle. Who are you inside is the metaphorical dung on which your fruit grows.

Here's what everyone should know. And what many of you cannot accept:

"You are a fruit and nothing else."

Nobody cares about your dung. “Who you are on the inside” has no meaning apart from what you produce for other people.

Inside you have tremendous compassion for the poor. Excellent. Has this compassion resulted in any action on this? Do you hear about some terrible tragedy and say “Oh, poor children. Tell them what I think of them”? Fuck it if that's the case - find out what they need and help. One hundred million people watched the Kony video, virtually all of them thought of those poor African children. But what made this society out of these thoughts? Fucking shit. Children die every day because millions of us tell ourselves that worrying is as good as doing. This is an internal mechanism controlled by the lazy part of our brain, which keeps us from real action.

How many of you are now walking in circles and repeating "She / he would certainly love me if only she knew / knew what an interesting person I am!" Truth? And how all these interesting thoughts and ideas of yours could independently convey themselves to the world? Or should they cause action? If the girl or guy of your dreams filmed you with a hidden camera for a month, would they be impressed with what they saw? Remember, they don't read minds, they can only see. Would they like to be a part of your life?

All I ask of you is to apply the same standards to yourself that you apply to others. You probably have an annoying Christian friend whose entire help boils down to "I'll pray for them." Doesn't that drive you crazy? I’m not commenting on whether the prayers work or not, but that doesn’t change the fact that this person has chosen the kind of help that doesn’t require him to take his butt off the couch. Such people abstain from any evil, their thoughts are pure, their inner dung is as pure as possible, but what kind of fruit will grow on it? And they should understand this better than anyone else - I stole a fruit metaphor from the Bible. Jesus repeated something like, "A tree is judged by its fruit" over and over and over again. Jesus never said, "If you want to work here, follow the plan." No, he said, “Every tree that does not produce good fruit should be cut down and thrown into the fire” (Gospel of Matthew).

People don't react well when they are told such things. Like the film's managers, they reacted badly to Alec Baldwin's words that they should finally grow eggs or switch jobs to shoe shiners. Which brings us to the final point …

1. Everything within you will struggle with development

The human mind is a miracle, and you will never see it work better than the moment it fights against the obvious evidence of the need for change. Your psyche is equipped with defense mechanisms designed to shoot out anything that can move things inside you - ask any addict.

Even now, some of you are reading this and feel the brain automatically bombarding what you read and demanding not to accept it. From my own experience, I can say that bombing can take place in the form of:

Deliberately treating any criticism as an insult

“Who is he to call me lazy and useless! A good man would not talk to me like that! He wrote all this just to feel superior to me, to make me feel like shit! And I will not leave it like that, I will equalize the score!"

Focusing on who is speaking, not what is being said

“Who is HE to tell ME how to live! Oh, look at him, how big and strong he is! But in fact, another moronic graphomaniac from the network! I’ll go and dig something on him to convince me that he’s dumb! So pretentious it makes me sick! I saw his old rap video on YouTube and his rhymes suck!"

Focusing on the tone of the message, not the content

“I’ll go through everything until I find a joke that sounds offensive when taken out of context, and then I’ll only talk and think about it! I heard that one offensive word can bury an entire book!"

Editing your own story

“It's not that bad! I know I tried to commit suicide last month, but now I feel better! It's likely that if I continue like this, it will eventually work out on its own! I will take a long break and continue to show interest in that girl, so in the end she will come by herself!"

The belief that any change in oneself is a betrayal of the real self

“Yeah, so I should give up all my comics and plow 6 hours a day at the gym instead? And using self-tanning like all those TV show assholes? Because this is the only alternative."

Etc. Remember, suffering is convenient. This is why many people prefer them. Happiness takes effort.

And courage. It is incredibly convenient to know that if you do not create anything in this life, then no one can attack what you have created.

How much easier it is to just sit on your butt and criticize what others are creating. The movie is stupid. This couple of children are badly brought up. The couple's relationship is mired in confusion. This rich man is as small as a person. That restaurant sucks. This internet writer is a moron. I'd rather leave a comment under his work, demanding that the site be fired. See, I created something.

Wait, did I forget to mention this? Yes, whatever you try to build or create - be it a poem, a new skill, a new relationship - you will immediately find yourself surrounded by "non-creators" scolding what you have done. Maybe behind your back, but they will. Your drunken friends will be against your sobriety. Your fat friends won't want you to start a new fitness regimen. Your unemployed friends won't want to see you dive into your career.

Remember, they are simply expressing their own fears since smearing other people's work has become another excuse for doing nothing. “Why should I create something if what others create sucks? I would have written a novel by now, but I'm going to wait for something good, I don't want to write another Twilight! And as long as he does not produce anything, he is perfect and far from reproach. And even if he does something, he will make sure that he did it with a special irony. He will do it deliberately badly so that it is clear to everyone that this is not a real attempt. That a real try would be incredible. Not like the shit you do.

All comments boil down to one thing: “Stop creating. This is different from what I would do, and the attention you receive makes me worry about myself."

Don't be that kind of person. If you are that kind of person, don't be that person anymore. This is what people hate you for. This is what makes you hate yourself.

So what about this: one year. The end of 2015 is our deadline. Or a year from the moment you read this. While other people are saying, "I'm going to lose 15 pounds this year," I propose to make a promise to do a fucking "something" - add any skill, any improvement to your human toolbox. And doing it well enough to impress people. Don't ask me what the hell it is, pick something random you don't know. Sign up for karate, ballroom dancing, pottery. Learn to bake. Build a birdhouse. Learn to massage. Learn a programming language. Take off the porn. Become a superhero and fight crime

Start a YouTube video blog

The key point here is that I don't want you to focus on something global that you want to happen to you ("I'll make a lot of money …"). I want you to focus on giving yourself a skill that will make you more interesting and valuable to other people.

“I don’t have the money to pay for the cooking classes.” Then google "How to cook". Damn it, you have to kill all these excuses. Or they will kill you.

You have nothing to lose and the world needs you.