2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
In the last article, I gave a description of the personality of a pedophile, wrote about children at risk. The purpose of the article was to draw the attention of parents to this problem, to encourage them to show more sensitivity to their children and an active civil position if violence has occurred, because, unfortunately, practice often shows the suppression of an unpleasant fact, or even its denial.
In this article I will describe the model of perception and behavior of children who have been abused by a pedophile, how it affects the lives of the victims, and the essence of psychotherapy.
I draw the attention of readers to the fact that the conclusions are made on the basis of my professional experience, the cases with which I happened to work, and are not an axiom.
Working through trauma is best done in childhood, when the psyche is more flexible and the beliefs caused by the abuse have not had time to take root and have a meaningful impact on life.
When adults seek help, their trauma has already become chronic and, therefore, therapy takes much longer.
The spectrum of problems of clients with trauma of violence: an increased level of anxiety, low self-esteem, a pessimistic outlook on life, depression, difficulties in social and sexual interaction, psychosomatic disorders.
In the book of A. I. Kopytina "Art-therapy of victims of violence" presents the results of diagnostics according to the drawing test by R. Silver. The main plots of the drawings of such children are destructive relationships, the image of threat, self-harm, depressed mood, the theme of death, mutilation.
For example, a drawing of a 10-year-old girl who has experienced sexual abuse.
Her drawing is complemented by the following story: “It was a spring day; the girl was playing and saw the dog. Then the dog bit her, and she wept bitterly. The girl was very upset by this trauma."
Drawing of an 11-year-old boy who has been repeatedly sexually abused.
After experiencing violence, the child often directs the aggression towards himself. Autoaggression manifests itself in a sense of guilt and shame: guilt for the failure to prevent violence, to defend oneself; shame that others might find out about the humiliation he had to endure, and this will cause condemnation, ridicule, rejection.
In addition to guilt and shame, the child is angry at his helplessness in that situation.
There may be a feeling of depersonalization, alienation from one's own corporeality. It becomes difficult for a child to accept his body - it seems somehow not his own, living a separate life from the psyche. A child can inflict self-harm, punishing his body, filling it with food, depriving himself of food, not washing for a long time, not taking care of himself, or, on the contrary, excessively fixated on cleanliness …
Consciousness can be filled with obsessive thoughts about pollution, fear of infection, death as a way to shift attention away from traumatic experiences or compensate for the loss of control.
Throughout the entire time, especially if a child is faced with a threat to life due to the encroachment of a pedophile, he does not leave the fear that someone will repeatedly harm, subject him to violence, abuse his trust, affection.
In most cases, the sensory sphere and sexuality are suppressed. Along with other feelings, excitement, the ability to experience an orgasm, fear of surrendering to a partner, the need for distance can be blocked.
An attitude is formed towards sexual intimacy not as a source of pleasure, but as an unpleasant duty. The partner's touch and his physiology cause rejection, up to disgust.
With sexual intimacy, a person can dissociate, separate consciousness from his body, imagine himself as someone else, pre-consume alcohol, drugs, choose violent forms of sex, etc.
Suppressed anger towards the abuser can be projected onto the partner and lead to certain acts of aggression towards him.
All this gamut of feelings imprisoned in the body gradually leads to somatization.
Psychotherapy focuses on healing the inner child, creating a safe environment, warmth and acceptance.
It is very important to awaken the client's suppressed feelings, help him release from chronic tension, recycle maladaptive beliefs about himself, about his helplessness, defectiveness, beliefs about closeness with other people. And this is a careful and painstaking process of building supportive, trusting relationships.
In some cases, medical support and the help of a sexologist are required.
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