Derpess Of The Schizoid Personality: Withdrawal Into Oneself And A Cry From The Depths

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Hello, friends!

I position myself as a specialist working with borderline and schizoid processes. This is due to the phenomenon of a wounded healer - it is impossible to lead a person to a place where he himself has not been. Both processes of the functioning of the psyche are familiar to me and I understand them well both as a client and as a psychotherapist. These two processes are united by one state that causes suffering - depression. In each case, it is different.

Today I will tell you a little about what depression is from within the schizoid process. I would also be happy to share with you my experience on how to cope with depression through psychotherapy and introspection.

I often use the phrase "schizoid personality" in this article, but this is for understanding. In essence, the person and his internal process are important. And the unnamed process. Therefore, I ask you not to take this as a scientific aid, it is rather a personal observation of yourself and other people who have similar experiences.

Perhaps it is worth starting with an acquaintance with this process. Then we'll talk about depression as such and how it works.

Schizoid personality

The personal story of a schizoid personality is a tale of great love and a tragic loss of trust. About merging with an important person and the insecurity of such contact. How to cope with loneliness and pain, how to survive and experience. The schizoid personality is distinguished by the incredible depth of everything that happens in it. A large-scale war is going on inside a person between the need for security and the need for relationships. But it’s just the way the schizoid personality’s experience works that relationships and security don’t go hand in hand. In order to feel calm, the schizoid built a castle with thick walls in his soul, dug a moat around and from the other side of the moat one can get into the castle only if its inhabitant lowers the bridge himself. Such a person moves towards rapprochement slowly and carefully. But if rapprochement occurs, then this is a very warm and long-term relationship.

One of the leading defense mechanisms (protection against "intrusion" into the inner lock) is withdrawal into oneself. From the outside, it may seem that the person is not in touch with reality at all. But it is not so. Reality simply does not seem to a schizoid person a place interesting and safe enough. The enormous depth of living and thinking is the place in which the schizoid is good. What does the schizoid personality do when it withdraws into itself? He mainly thinks about global things, comprehends the surrounding reality, his relations with her and with people. There are often many fantasies inside. They are needed in order to bring clarity and security to an unpredictable world. Even if fantasies do not always correspond, there is no uncertainty either.

The trouble and pain of such a person is loneliness and difficulties in building relationships. Alas, not every person can withstand the right time and distance to enter the zone of trust. But when such a person is found … it is happiness for both. But if the partner shows insensitivity, the schizoid hides in his castle.

More generally, loneliness is a zone of comfort and discomfort at the same time. A schizoid person feels separate from the team at work, keeps himself apart in the company of friends, even in a family he will be on his own.

What is the power of the schizoid process? In fidelity, in the depth of contact with oneself and others. Reliability and safety. In creative thinking and erudition. In a comfortable stay close, in honesty. These are amazingly subtle people in the best sense of the word. Therefore, their feelings are deep and genuine.

The reason for this process is "falling out" into the state of an infant, where one wants nothing but emotional contact, security and silence. This is how a schizoid person feels in a quality relationship. This is an injury at the level of the first year of life.

Depression of the schizoid personality

A schizoid person has deep everything, including depression. But the trouble is that it is difficult to notice depression in schizoids. A person is always in himself. But still, there are signs - an increasing narrowing of the circle of communication, indifference to their health and life. Suicidal thoughts, by the way, are the lot of the schizoid process.

What's going on inside in such depression? There is an ocean of pain, loneliness and fear. The feeling that it will always be so bad. An early decision made in childhood sounds like "I will always be alone" and "The world is not safe." Based on this, it can be assumed that depression is associated with feelings of loneliness and insecurity.

When depression begins, the schizoid personality goes to the farthest room of his castle and closes himself from the inside. It closes itself off from others and makes almost impossible any penetration from the outside. Metaphorically, the doorknob is only inside. And the doors open outward.

This room is dark, scary and lonely. But there is no one who has brought more suffering. And this makes you endure loneliness further.

The reason for this difficult condition is an internal conflict between the need for safe contact and the fear of contact as such. There are many contradictions.

In his depression, the schizoid person seems to be on fire from within. But you will not see this, unless you are really close and the person himself will tell about his pain.

• How to understand that a person close to you with a schistoid process is depressed?
• Your communication has noticeably changed, it has become even less communicative;
• A loved one began to spend more time alone;
• You have seen the products of creativity that speak of inner pain;
• the person stopped taking care of himself, taking care of food and hygiene;
• the person no longer does the usual things for him, does not go to work / to the institute / to school;

• you notice self-injurious behavior

  the person went very deeply into esoteric practices and lost contact with reality.

If you notice something like this, it is better to consult a specialist. You will not be able to talk, ferret out, or achieve frankness with any other pressure.

Psychotherapy and Introspection

In the case of the schizoid personality, introspection is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, this is what every schizoid does in his life. Digs into himself. As a representative of the schizoid race:) I can say that this is the very thing that helps us to hold on in difficult times. Endless rationalization, analysis, search for answers wherever possible.

On the other hand, it is going even deeper into oneself. And this is going even deeper into your depression.

What to do to prevent introspection from diving without oxygen? For a start, it would be good to take him out at least a little to the outside world. Diaries, creativity, blogs will help here, in the end. Any way to bring the inner hell out of yourself into the outside world in a safe way works. The more it is outside, the less it is inside.

Now let's talk about what works best. About psychotherapy. It really works better because it not only takes the pain outward, but also provides safe and subtle feedback in the right form and at the right distance. Close people do not always have the opportunity to be with us the way we need it. In the case of the schizoid process, it is very important to select the shape, words, speed, distance to the person.

In psychotherapy, it becomes possible to be frank, deep, and at the same time feel safe, because your frankness does not mean the intrusion of another person into it, it means being attentive to you and your story, without pressure. It is this kind of experience that heals the personality of the schizoid person and allows him to build safer relationships with the world. Do not feel like an outcast, needing a certain speed of rapprochement with others and being different from them. In parallel with this, there is a study of oneself, one's resources and capabilities, the search for answers to those questions that are difficult to talk with other people, even the closest ones. And as a prerequisite - confidentiality and security, respect. This is what often frightens the schizoid personality and does not allow her to open up, because the disclosure can be unsafe. This confirms the experience of the schizoid personality, and it is this experience that helps to understand and rework psychotherapy.

Despite the early decision of a person that no one is able to understand him, he is an outcast everywhere and it is better for him to be alone - schizoid people perfectly build relationships with those they can trust. You just need to learn to feel your boundaries and protect them in such a way that contact is possible without compromising security.

The treatment for depression when working with the schizoid process is that the sense of security is not necessarily tied to the walls in which the Inner Child sits, vulnerable and fearful. This sense of security should be internal and dependent on the decisions we make, not the state we avoid.

You can understand this difference if you imagine a confident person who knows exactly what kind of people he needs by his side and what not, what is good for him and what is bad for him. Such a person does not need walls, he can freely build relationships with those with whom he will feel good. It is such a person who is to become a schizoid personality. At the same time, it is important not to betray yourself, to leave yourself the right to go into your inner castle when you need it and leave it when there is a need for contact with another person.

Personally, I strongly believe that everyone is capable of building close relationships with others if they know themselves well enough. Ultimately, how can you expect from others that which you do not understand in yourself?

If you agree, disagree, or just something responded to you in this article - I will be glad to your comments, remarks or personal observations. It will also be great if you share this material with other people on your social media page.

Thank you for your time!