2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It is clear that the desire to have children is due to the procreation instinct. But in the modern civilized world, the issue of childbearing has acquired some shades in the root cause. And right away I want to make a reservation that we are not talking about any obligations of a woman to necessarily give birth, not about stereotypes of society, but about the most natural need - to have a child
We have legs to walk, we have eyes with which we see the world around us, we have a stomach to digest food, we have ears with which we listen and a womb in which we carry a baby. To appeal that this is a stupid stereotype: "since I am a woman, I must give birth!" First, it doesn't have to. Nobody forces you to watch. The point is that we are given internal organs not for idle beauty, but for the realization of OUR NATURAL NEEDS.
But if we leave aside the instincts for now, then why do women give birth?
1) To meet expectations. Parents ask grandchildren, husband wants, at work they have been asking for a long time when I'm going to give birth. You need to give birth in order not to disappoint anyone!
2) Because it's time. Each woman determines the "time" in a strictly individual manner. Most often, of course, looking around, looking around at the girlfriends. If most of them already go to nurses, then it’s time for me too.
3) In order not to work. The reason is quite valid, besides, not everyone loves work, and here it is a decree. In this case, children can be given birth in succession, so as not to leave the decree for an unloved job.
4) To tie a man to yourself. Isn't it a move? Relationships are not going well? Does it feel like a cat has run? Well, now I will take and give birth to a child for him - let him live with me and rejoice.
5) As a way to get away from your problems. Depression? Give birth to a child and there will be no time for whining. It won't be up to that already! No purpose in life? Give birth! Live for the children. Do you know how to fill your free time, which is in abundance? Why not children? The child becomes like a kind of universal filler.
6) Replay your childhood. Here, everything that the mother did not receive from her parents - she will act out on her child. I couldn't eat sweets, but I'll give my baby sweets. They didn’t give me a bicycle - but I’ll give it to mine! I didn’t have dolls - I’ll fill my daughter with toys! I was not allowed to stay up late - let my little one run around as long as he wants. And caring for the baby will become a type of caring for oneself, only in the transference.
7) Material benefits: maternity capital, benefits, benefits. Yes, and my husband promised a car if I give him a face!
8) Give birth to a universal servant. So that there was someone to bring a glass of water in old age. Now I'll lay my life on him, and then I'll shake it three times more - now he will have to: take care, not marry, call and ask about his health, bring food, take him to hospitals. Such is the investment project.
9) To be. Because a woman is supposed to give birth. Everyone gives birth - and I gave birth. It should be so.
Of course, children born for all of the above reasons will not be happy. And these reasons are surrogate. Many mothers, who previously relied on the named "weighty" arguments, face disappointment, postpartum depression, health problems in themselves and in their child.
It happens that a woman is, in principle, scared to give birth. Because as a child, she heard from her mother about what kind of responsibility it is. And she herself is unprepossessing, armless, stupid and you cannot entrust her with cooking the soup, where can you bring up a child! So men are afraid to acquire a family and children, because in childhood they have seen enough of this that you will not wish the enemy, not to mention your own child! The fear of responsibility to the baby is self-doubt, self-doubt.
So why is it worth giving birth? The most expedient reason is to give your warmth, love, care, which is in abundance. To take care of the baby for the sake of care and for the sake of the baby itself. To love him, because it is impossible not to love. To fulfill your need for happiness and pleasure from the very process of being close to your child. Give affection and attention from excess, from fullness, and not as an advance payment. To give birth to a child for the sake of the child itself, and not for parents, husband, girlfriends, society, state. Then the woman realizes that her child DOES NOT OBTAIN ANYTHING! Because everything she wanted - she has already received. Then the child becomes a friend, not a servant, an independent person, and not a debtor and servant.
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