2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Sexuality is not exactly about behavior in bed and sexual intercourse, although it is customary to think that way. Sexuality is about wanting to please and impress. In psychology, this force is called "libido". The universal love for "likes" well illustrates the power of this desire, which is built into us by default.
To impress others, we need to express ourselves
What prevents you from expressing and showing yourself to others?
It is insecurity and fear of failure. They hamper any impulses to express themselves and to fulfill their desire. When desire is suppressed, another force takes its place - the desire for death and destruction. In psychology, this force is called "thanatos". Libido and thanatos are two opposite forces that control us at a deep level. They are interconnected - by increasing libido we reduce thanatos, and by suppressing libido we increase tonatos. Libido is the drive for life or the power to create. Thanatos - the desire for death or the power to destroy. With the help of sexual energy, we continue ourselves in children, books, films, students, etc.
“You yourself do not know what is in you. Man either creates or destroys. And the third is not given. " Saul Bellow
Our sexuality awakens when we discover and express our true desires. Spontaneity and play, the ability to enjoy and taste life - these are the true friends of sexuality. In the game we get naked and open up, we forget about all the conventions, our cockroaches scatter in the corners. Spontaneity and naturalness enchants and attracts. This brings to mind Scarlett from the novel "Gone with the Wind."
To express your sexuality, you need to understand your real desires. But on the way to understanding our desires, a cultural environment appears with personal and social taboos that prevent us from realizing and embodying our desires. We cannot ignore these taboos, but we can find socially acceptable ways to fulfill our desires. It's not just about desires in bed. We remember that sexuality is about the desire to live and impress.
Real desire is a free bird that does not tolerate cages and compulsion. Such a desire cannot be aroused by command. Try specifically to want to run in the morning. The more you fuel this urge, the less likely you are to get up for a run in the morning. It's another matter if you really want to impress someone and you need to be in good shape for that. Then you will jump out of bed in the morning and happily run a double distance.
I think you have noticed that no matter how hard a person tries, doing what he does not like, it does not impress anyone. People perceive the product of such activity as carrion. And the carrion does not touch anyone, does not excite and does not cause delight, even if it is beautifully packaged and everything is done correctly, as it should be. It's another matter when a person does something with pleasure. Then everyone starts to pay attention to him. It attracts - you cannot take your eyes off such a person. He infects and delights everyone around - this is sexuality.
When desires are suppressed and repressed into the unconscious, thanatos gets down to business and begins to destroy the psyche and body
Thanatos' weapons are neuroses, fears, phobias, self-doubt, loneliness, psychosomatic disorders and other personality problems. If you notice that thanatos is coming and life is passing in continuous efforts to meet the requirements of the environment, then it is time to look for what you really want. Any repressed, lulled, ignored desire leads to destruction and aggression. Such a desire turns the power to create into the power to destroy, and then a person lives in a state of war with himself.
In real desires, the main thing is "I want" and "I do not want". In addition to "must", "accepted" and "not allowed" there is also "want". Remember that on the “want” side there is sweet taste, energy and life. On the “I don’t want” side, there is bitter taste, aggression and death. It remains to find out your true "want" and "do not want". See your false desires and give them to those to whom they belong. Themselves to do the embodiment of their desires. Start living, creating and attracting.
Alla Kishchinskaya
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