“What Kind Of Filth Is Stopping Me From Living? A Little About Introjects. Part 2: Benefits, Sources And What To Do About It? "

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

And again I welcome everyone) I hope you were waiting for the continuation of my article on introjects. Here, in fact, it is.

The first part of the article can be read here:

So, is there a benefit to introjects? Of course have. Secondary, I would say, and, in my opinion, very dubious. But, nevertheless, a few words about her

Of course, first of all, introject - This psychological protection … Another thing is that not all protections are good and favorable for the human psyche in the long term, so to speak. And the introject is one of those. And this, for example, when a person takes on the role and functions of a person who is unpleasant to him, due to the fact that these traits of other people are quite annoying or traumatizing him. An excellent example of introjection as a defense is a saying that I often hear from people - "The best defense is offense." Those. when attacking, the features of the attacker are introjected and the same behavior follows in response. And the husband and wife swear, and aggression against each other instead of understanding the situation and not bringing the relationship to a heated level. And how the dogs "bark" at each other middle managers at meetings - how many times I have seen this and can not count. Although in ordinary life, in general, all normal and completely non-aggressive people.

Secondly, having an introject is a great way to avoid taking responsibility. And the truth is, why take it, because everything has already been decided before you. All the rules and methods have long been defined, fixed, it remains only to follow them. Blindly obey.

Finally, introject provides a person's attitude to act in a certain way, which often saves physical and mental strength … All this is very, of course, great in relation to the "useful" introject. But in relation to the pathological, in my opinion, such benefits lose in comparison with what harm an introject can do to a person in his life.

Before moving on to what to do with such "disgusting things that interfere with life", how to help a person to be in contact with the world, to be himself, I would like to say a few words about where and how introjects are formed … For myself, I single out the following sources of their formation.

1. Parental messages. Indeed, until a certain age a child “swallows without chewing” all the information that is given to him by significant and vital adults - mom and dad. The problem is that along with useful things, parents often pass on to the child certain obligations and judgments about how the world functions and how he himself should live in this world - in their opinion, they are very correct and necessary for the child. This is definitely not out of malice, but only in order to protect your beloved child. In fact, it turns out that in the form of introjects, parents very often transmit to the child not just anything, but their inner conflict, their introject. And the child accepts it. And then he lives with this internal conflict, not even his own. As a rule, these are direct verbal messages to the child: You always should / you should never.
2. Family traditions, myths, scripts, messages can also be introjects. In my opinion, they are even deeper than direct messages from parents to children. Because it is these introjects that have been fixed for years, centuries, generations of people. And often they are not even verbalized verbally, but are simply absorbed by the child from behavior, traditions, family atmosphere, if you like. Let's go back to the example of a family of hereditary teachers. The child may never be told this, but the value of continuity in the profession in the family can be so great, it can be transmitted so strongly in the family that the child "swallows" this introject even without the usual verbal messages, it seems like should or should not. He just knows that his destiny is to be a teacher.
3. An introject can be formed as a result of trauma. In this case, it is a kind of belief that is formed on the basis of one's own traumatic experience. Such an introject can form at almost any age and, in my opinion, is very strongly associated with the fear and helplessness of a person experienced during traumatization. And also distinguished by its globalization. For example, a woman may have experienced physical abuse from her husband (or man). And then an introject can form that she should stay as far from ALL men as possible. Because it is dangerous to be near them. Naturally, in this case, the woman will try by all means to limit her communication with men. And, one way or another, tk. after all, the world is arranged in such a way that there are both men and women in it, this will greatly affect her social circle, work, leisure, perhaps even her sexual orientation - as an option.
4. The media can also be a source of introjects. After all, advertising is sometimes intrusive. How news channels literally push their point of view into us. And strongly introjected people are especially susceptible to the absorption of introjects from the media (for me these are people who were too “fed” with introjects in childhood. And their habitual way of behavior and life becomes in every possible way to collect such introjects and further). And then the person will buy everything in a row, everything that the box shows him. Or is it sacred to believe in some other things that the media broadcasts. Although in reality everything can be done differently.
5. An introject can be the result of a merge. Here I mean that the person broadcasting the introject is so valuable to a person, so much he is attached to her or wants to be attached, so much he wants to feel his involvement in this person, that sometimes he himself finds some trait of this valuable for himself person and introjects it (unconsciously, naturally). For example, a girl really wants to lose weight, but she can't do it. And digging into the history, it turns out that her beloved great-grandmother, who is incredibly valuable and dear to her, was in fact a very large woman, portly - as they said then in the village. And maintaining her fullness, this girl feels closer, dearer to her dear great-grandmother, who is no longer alive. Thus, she preserves love and memory of a person dear to her. Her introject may sound something like this: "If you want to be closer to your beloved great-grandmother, you must be complete." Naturally, such introjects are very deep and are realized with great difficulty.
6. The culture of a given society can also shape introjects. And here I mean all sorts of different folk signs and sayings, as well as those signs that a person can invent for himself. Perhaps this is funny from a certain point of view, but I remember how as a student, my friend earned herself a severe stomach upset by eating just an incredible amount of lucky tickets. Or, for example, let us again recall the saying "The best defense is an attack." Well, yes, especially when, for example, you have to defend yourself in front of an aggressive man or a bandit, and even with a weapon in your hands. Of course, a fragile girl should attack him herself for protection)

And speaking about working with introjects, then first of all they need to be identified. After all, it is rarely when an introject is realized by a person. And sometimes it does not even have an explicit verbal form of expression. In psychodrama, its main principle is very helpful - materialization. And then the client's picture, what he is holding back or pushing, fears, pain, sadness, etc., can be simply put on the stage and given a voice. In this case, it is much easier to identify the introject. Even verbally, introjects sound completely different - in a peremptory tone, harsh, without an alternative.

Next, it is very important to determine the source of the introject, since this largely determines the further strategy of work. Hello psychodrama again). After all, what is already material, which has a voice and a certain role, is much easier to define as a true person or event.

After the source has been identified, work directly begins with the introject. And it really depends on what the source is. And then we can work with trauma, with basic childhood scenes, with family messages, merging, etc. And this is only if in a nutshell.

And in the end, a metaphor came to my mind that introject - it's like clothes from someone else's shoulder or shoes from someone else's feet. And if it is in size, and it is pleasant and meets the needs and desires of a person - then, in principle, nothing, there is no problem. But if the size does not match, then the clothes and shoes press, hurt, interfere. Introjects that interfere with life, in my opinion, destroy the most important human value - to be yourself. Be in “your own clothes”. Well, or in "their own skin."

Became interesting? I would like to know, and what nasty thing prevents you from living? And do you want to do something with this muck? I myself was inspired while writing this material. And that inspiration grew into the idea of a therapy group dedicated to introjects.

I invite you to the two-day group "What is this disgusting thing that prevents me from living?" … It will be useful, warm and safe - the Psychodrama method will help you with this)

Details about the group are here: