Transferences And Countertransferences In Therapy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

What are transferences and countertransferences? How can this function manifest itself?

Transference is most often an unconscious process of transferring feelings that were once experienced from one person to another. Often, the projection takes place on the therapist, and the client's feelings are deeper (from childhood). This is why transference is an essential tool in psychotherapy, as it gives the therapist access to childhood experiences that many of us do not remember in adulthood. How does the transfer process take place? In several stages - the formation, identification, transformation of the received traumatic experience due to the arrangement of new and positive skills for the client on the part of the therapist. Accordingly, countertransference is the feelings that the therapist experiences in connection with the client's transference. It is on these inner sensations that therapists rely to a greater extent.

There are three main groups of hyphenations:

Child-parent. Sibling. Erotic or eroticized

The deepest and strongest transference with which they work in psychotherapy is the child-parental one. The psychotherapist, as a result of his direct attitude to the client's state, begins to experience countertransference feelings (care, unbearable pity, the desire to hug, pick up and rock the client).

Child-parent transference may indicate deep childhood trauma to the psyche. In such cases, psychotherapists say about clients that they need to be "grown". What feelings might a person experience during this type of transfer? Often there are strong hopes and aspirations for the therapist, attachment resembles the relationship between mother and child in childhood:

- there is a desire to spend much more time with a psychotherapist than 1 hour a week;

- I want the therapist to cancel the rest of the clients, and the whole personal life;

- childish anger on the part of the client that he was abandoned after going on vacation;

- envy towards other clients;

- the desire to erase all boundaries between the therapist and oneself;

- dependence on psychotherapy sessions.

In order to correctly interpret the transference and analyze its deep essence, a person also needs to understand the influence of childhood. For example, if the client had an overprotective mother, he may have the wrong opinion that the therapist forces him to go to his session, forces him to accept someone else's point of view, tries to manipulate, and, in general, has firmly settled in life in his life. These feelings are similar to those experienced in childhood for the mother. There is also the opposite situation - the mother's behavior was rejecting. In this case, in every action and facial expression of the psychotherapist's face, a person will see rejection. A third variant of the development of events is also possible - an overprotective mother and the inability to push and reject her. Often, clients transfer the child's situation to the therapist and begin to act out it - they abandon psychotherapy sessions without prior discussion with the therapist a day before the session starts, and may disappear for several weeks.

This kind of acting out is especially important in psychotherapy. This is an indicator of transference, unfulfilled children's desires and actions. Each client, at a minimum, must realize the cause of the transference in his relationship with the therapist, further actions depend solely on the person himself - you can transfer your experiences and feelings to others throughout your life, but you can also turn them to your advantage. How to do it? It is enough to understand what is happening and why, to analyze your actions with a psychotherapist. This approach not only beneficially affects the client's psyche, but also brings general relief.

Child-parent transfer can be not only on the psychotherapist and mother. This can be a transfer to a grandmother, grandfather, uncle, aunt, cousins, educator, teacher, any person who played an important role in the client's life.

Another important factor is that the gender of the therapist and the person to whom the transfer takes place does not matter. For example, the psychotherapist might be a woman in her 30s, and the transfer to her is like a grandfather. The psyche has no gender, the person carries the formed pattern into those relationships in which a certain level of attachment has been formed, and then plays out his established scenario.

In general, the child-parent transfer means that the client remains small enough inside, feels weak, immature, needs authority and support, it is important for him that someone takes him by the hand and leads him around the world, tells him how to live correctly … There is nothing terrible in this, everything is worked out in psychotherapy sessions.

The next type of transference is sibling, that is, the therapist is perceived as a brother or sister. This situation may arise if the client has experience of life with a brother (sister) and the age difference with the therapist is insignificant. In this case, there can also be quite interesting moments - competition, the need for recognition, a desire to help the therapist or support (if there is an experience of communicating with a younger (older) sister or brother who was a significant figure in the client's life). Accordingly, the relationship will play out approximately similar.

What is the main reason for this transfer? Probably, the client and his sibling still have unresolved questions. It can be competition (when one is trying to prove to another who is smarter, more beautiful and more interesting) or the desire for recognition (not just to prove his superiority, the sibling must, for his part, confirm it - “Yes, this is true. You do it better than I have ).

Very often in families there are situations when younger children want support and recognition from their elders, but do not receive it. That is why, already in adulthood, they can come to therapy. Moreover, there is also a mixed transfer - child-parent with sibling (in case the older sister was the only prototype of the mother). What does this mean? A person has virtually no experience in what a mother is, therefore, looking at his older sister, he would like to perceive her as a mother.

Erotic transference is a relationship between a man and a woman with a high degree of sexuality. Often, if the psyche of a person who came with an eroticized transference is mature enough, the presence of this type of transference indicates that a woman or a man has come to confirm their sexuality and gender identity (I am a beautiful woman! I am the best man!). In this case, therapy is short-lived and is of a point nature. However, in most cases, the eroticized transference hides a kind of defense mechanism against childhood problems and difficulties, the fear of working through childhood traumas. Such behavior of the client is an indicator of the wrongly passed Oedipus period, when the boy fights with the father for the mother, and the girl and the mother for the father. In fact, for a person, this period did not end because of the child's needs that were not fully satisfied.

Relatively speaking, in a healthy scenario, the child receives approval and recognition of the sexuality of his parents. If this is a girl, dad says to her: "You are beautiful and clever!". This phrase has a hidden connotation - "You are sexy!". Naturally, at the age of 3-7 years, they don't tell the child so directly, but dad shows his attitude towards the baby in every possible way - his eyes are burning, he is delighted. Then the girl's father dismisses all other attempts by the child to fight for him: “I have another woman - your mother. Sorry, but in time you will have your own man too. " For her part, mom confirms what dad said: “Daughter, you are a beauty and deserve to find a good man. But your father is my husband. You will have your own man. " With this development of events, the parents recognize their daughter as a wealthy person, confirming that she is a smart, beautiful woman and deserves a better man. It is not necessary to talk with the child about this topic, you can express your attitude by behavior. The main thing for parents is that their real feelings and thoughts should coincide with the actions and nature of behavior. In this case, the child will definitely understand everything himself. The situation is similar with the son.

If a person has not received such recognition from one of the parents, it is highly likely that he will come to psychotherapy with an eroticized transference, which will in fact be a child-parent transference (there is a request for mom or dad - confirm that I am handsome, well done, etc..).

In some cases, the eroticized transference may be a resistance to working through one's child-parental trauma. If the client has a mature psyche, this is an attempt to explore and understand his “I” (what kind of man I am, what kind of woman I am). However, this option is quite rare. Also, most often eroticized transference occurs when the client and therapist are of different genders.

In sessions, a person may or may not be aware of his transference (the therapist resembles a grandmother, aunt, older brother, etc.). In fact, for the psychotherapist, the perception of the client is not so important, it is a tool for work, therefore it is the therapist who must monitor the external manifestation of the transference and his countertransference feelings, according to which the tactics and strategy of further sessions are developed. Whether or not to discuss its transfer with a person is up to the psychotherapist. The discussion takes place during the period of manifestation of any feelings and experiences on the part of the client. Often therapists use the following questions:

- For whom else in your childhood and past did you experience similar feelings?

- Who else treated you like that?

- I would like to lull you now as a little one. What feelings are you experiencing now?

Thus, through the transference, the psychotherapist clarifies the client's need, analyzes his unfinished situation in childhood, works with projection and limitations that prevent a person from moving on in life, building personal and working relationships.

How long does it take to form a projection? It is impossible to answer this question unequivocally. For each person, everything happens differently - someone comes to the first session with a transfer, and sometimes it takes 1-2 years to form a projection attitude towards the therapist. On average, six months.

If, after six months of hard work with a psychotherapist, for some undefined reason, the client wants to run away, avoids meetings, the therapist annoys and makes him angry, this behavior can mean:

1. Manifestation of carryover or hitting a strong projection.
2. A person cannot cope with their feelings, which have a traumatic effect on him, or adheres to a certain pattern of behavior.

Accordingly, the client should understand that at this stage he is not running away from the therapist, but from his projection and objects of internal attachment, which in the past caused some discomfort and caused painful sensations. Specifically, this psychotherapist could not inflict trauma, most likely it was before, but now they just touched it, so the wound opened.

At different stages of psychotherapy, there may be different transferences or, at least, the psychological age of the client changes, especially in the child-parent transference. As a rule, at the beginning of psychotherapy, the trauma of earlier childhood is worked through. The further the therapy progresses, the psychologically older the person becomes, and the more severe and painful injuries are worked through.