Resistance And Breakdowns In Therapy. What Is, Function And Manifestation

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Resistance is a very important part of therapy, because in 99.9% of cases it means that a person is climbing up and growing, gaining new experience and trying to put it into practice, and is on the verge of the biggest leap in his inner improvement.

Growth and development are always accompanied by pain, sometimes suffering. Why? This is how the world and nature are arranged - that which does not bring benefit in the end, does not cause resistance either. It's easy enough to get addicted to bad habits (drink alcohol, smoke, use drugs), stop going to work or lie on the couch and watch TV shows all day without doing anything useful for your self-development. But to start taking care of yourself (sports, giving up bad habits, gaining new experience, working on yourself for personal growth and development) is difficult. All those desires and aspirations that improve the quality of life by an order of magnitude are always given with more pain than degradation, and cause resistance. This is how the human psyche and the world work - in order to grow and become better, you need to go through pain and suffering.

Psychotherapy in this subtext is no different, since it is always growth and development, even if the treatment of some pathology, disorder or deviation is implied, it can also be painful.

How is resistance manifested in psychotherapy? What feelings, emotions and thoughts can indicate that a person is in a zone of resistance

1. The client began to be late for sessions with enviable regularity. Even a single delay may indicate some kind of small, but resistance. One day before the therapy, unforeseen circumstances begin to occur, due to which the visit to the session is postponed or is greatly questioned. Why is that? It's all about the psychological aspect - if a person does not want something or is afraid of certain actions, troubles begin to occur in his life (a kind of "defense mechanism" against disturbing future actions).
2. A person forgets about psychotherapy sessions or plans their personal affairs during the sessions, especially if the time and day of therapy does not change over a long period. In this case, it is worth considering - why is there such an ardent resistance, and what has become unbearable in therapy?
3. During the session, the conversation includes completely abstract topics - weather, nature, etc. The most important and painful thing is kept silent or postponed for the last five minutes so that the therapist does not have time to develop the painful topic. A kind of "bait" for a conversation in the next session, but the next session repeats the previous one - the weather, nature, abstract topics. Such behavior may indicate a protective mechanism of reflection, which is a manifestation of resistance, that is, a person cannot go through certain points of resistance. The client notices that on the day of the session everything is suddenly getting better, although yesterday everything was bad (hysterics, internal depressed state, barely restrained sobs and pain that tears the soul from the inside and breaks out). And today - a clear sun, a beautiful day, everything is fine. Such situations are to some extent evidence of the protective mechanism of retroflection.
4. The person felt sorry for the money for psychotherapy, he forgets to pay for the session or argues his withdrawal from therapy with financial issues. The material component always means resistance. Up to this point, there was an opportunity to allocate or find money, but in a situation where sessions become an unbearable burden, it is often "difficult" to find finances for a person. This stage requires special attention from both the client and the psychotherapist - why is therapy so repulsive and frightening, why do you want to run away? Feelings of fear, guilt and shame have appeared. However, often such sensations are not fully realized, they slip through the prism of consciousness and are formed into a firm belief that psychotherapy is useless, the therapist tries to manipulate, does not know his business, cannot help and, in general, is untenable. Or, on the contrary, everything is already working out and everything is fine, so there is no compelling reason to continue therapy.
5. The last option is “I probably don’t need all this, and psychotherapy has simply reached a dead end!” Whether it is necessary or not - these points should be discussed directly with the psychotherapist. Perhaps this is true if the entire integrity of the personality has already been formed. One of the prerequisites for the last option for refusing therapy is the client's conviction that no one can help him, because he has a rather unusual situation.

In all these cases, there is a chance that the client will break down. To prevent this from happening, it is necessary to discuss with your therapist all controversial feelings and situations, even moments of mild resistance (for example, when attending a therapy session is accompanied by the thoughts “I have nothing to discuss today, I'm fine!”). You should not hide your true feelings from the therapist, being afraid to express them. You can say directly: “You know what? You piss me off, the last five sessions for sure”,“I think I feel guilty about canceling the last meeting”or“I want to go on vacation or take a break, but I'm afraid that you will leave me or, on the contrary, will now restrain or persuade . Such statements are more projective, but the moment of awareness of one's feelings and the inner struggle with feelings of guilt are very important. All these resistances may indicate that the client has turned on a strong transference to the therapist, and he begins to work through his deepest problem, which led him to psychotherapy.

Projections, transferences, countertransferences are a separate topic. However, the following situation of family relationships can be cited as an example. There are "a lot" of mothers in the child's life, and the latter sometimes just wants to be at ease. In such a case, a client with such a past will eventually perceive their therapist as a person who constantly forces him to be in contact. He will get angry and furious, repeating: "Why are you constantly forcing me to go to therapy?" The psychotherapist's answer is obvious: “Why do I force you? If you don't want to - don't go, take a break! " An important point in psychotherapy - such situations need to be discussed!

Can I take a break from psychotherapy and when? In any case, the decision is made by the client, but a "vacation" from therapy is recommended no earlier than 1.5 years after the start of the sessions. Approximately during this period, the feeling that something has changed inside, it has become better, in general, life began to take shape in a different way, grows stronger. Therefore, often a person wants to walk a piece of the path alone and evaluate his capabilities and strengths: "Maybe I have grown up enough and can walk on my own?"

It is imperative to discuss with the therapist a possible break - not in SMS, but in person at the session. It is worth analyzing why such a decision was made, what it was based on, weighing all the advantages and disadvantages. In the case of SMS, this is a childish act that only confirms the immaturity of the inner “I” and an unformed personality. Such actions indicate a person's rebellion in relation to psychotherapy. In fact, a break can be regarded as a breakdown, only with a discussion and mutual understanding of the two parties - the therapist and the client agree to stop for a month, two, three, analyze the consequences and assess the subsequent position of the person.

Even if after a temporary break a person realizes that he can go further on his own, it is imperative to return to psychotherapy and complete the course of sessions. The process of completing therapy is an important point, first of all for the client. If there are feelings of flaws in some issues or the help of a therapist is needed, you should definitely go back and work out all the problem areas. Sometimes there are situations when people go to psychotherapy sessions solely to study and understand their deep personality. In this case, therapy for them is development, not treatment.

There is no need to worry about possible experiences with the therapist. These feelings are quite normal. The thing is that the relationship between the client and the therapist is always very deep and close, one might say intimate. Often, because of the opportunity to speak sincerely and openly, they develop into richer, more intimate and emotional relationships than with relatives, close friends, spouses. At a certain moment, this causes tension, even aggression, respectively, there may be clashes with the therapist.

In general, it is quite normal to be angry and angry with another person in contact. It is important to discuss the problem situations that have arisen and understand why this anger arose. A good therapist always has a desire and desire to understand the psychology of his client, to understand his character, to help a person live with his temperament and successfully move towards his goals. This is why you should always talk to your therapist about any stress points that arise during therapy sessions.

In psychotherapy, there are times when nothing significant happens, there are no visible changes. However, it is during these periods that the deep formation of a new experience of relationships and an unconscious transformation in the soul takes place. After such "stagnation" usually comes a sudden but total moment of relief - Bach! And all at once everything becomes good, evens out. Such situations are quite rare, mostly they are preceded by many years of therapy. In this place of psychotherapy, it is recommended not to break down in any case, otherwise the moment of relief and improvement may never come.