Loneliness In Me

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Loneliness

It’s very embarrassing to admit to others that you’re alone, and it’s so wonderful to finally do it. This recognition gives absolutely nothing, and that's the beauty of it. To be lonely is not a necessity and not a tragedy, it is a common state of some people who, in this way specifically for them, perceive themselves in this world. Everyone has their own story of loneliness, it is usually not very funny. We are alone, and we live with it, each in its own way, each time in a new way. This pain inside, it is something incredibly incomprehensible. The one who experienced it does not know where it comes from and how to get rid of it, it seems that it is not a part of us, but at the same time, we are a part of it. The lonely pain that lives in us pushes us towards people to treat it and at the same time pulls the other hand away from people, since this pain is connected with them. This dance back and forth, we dance being alone. We really want to be with someone, and we do everything to prevent this from happening. With each new successful case of avoiding communication, the wheel of pain spins even more, and we are even more attracted to others, and we hate any kind of relationship in general. In the end, we'll just be left alone.

Loneliness as self-awareness

There comes a point in our lives when we acknowledge the fact that we are alone in this world. Now I am writing that we recognize the reality as such that no one wants to be responsible for our actions and for our lives. We are forced to do everything for ourselves, we understand that no one except ourselves will make us happy, and no one will give us joy, peace and security in life. And we come to this conclusion after a lot of grievances and disappointments, after a lot of failed hopes, after hundreds of successful cases that never brought us satisfaction. We come to this slowly, painfully, with regret and fear, and we always come to this alone.

At this point, we cannot feel anyone as we did before, and we suddenly discover that nagging feeling in full measure, and it shows us where we are. We are inside. We are here and have been here all this time. We begin to fully see ourselves and our horizons.

With the vision of your loneliness comes shock and pain. As they pass, we will more and more clearly emerge that, our true image, which was inaccessible to us all this time. Perhaps we will become more clearly distinguish between our own needs and those imposed on us by others.

And here we have a great chance, perhaps for the first time in our life, to do something for ourselves and only what we want.

Loneliness is capital

In your loneliness, oddly enough, you can find external capital, i.e. real external benefit. To do this, you just need to be in your natural role and experience the suffering of being alone. This external suffering can and will be attracted by people who will definitely want to save you, these will be the so-called rescuers.

If the inner reality is not realized, it becomes the outer reality. In this case, our subjective inner suffering from loneliness will generate our unconscious actions to compensate for inner pain in the form of external care and attention by other people or circumstances. We will receive outwardly from others what we desperately want to have inside ourselves, and so this situation can last indefinitely, due to the fact that we cannot integrate other people's care and affection into our inner peace until we have there will be a realization of what we really want and why we need it.

Another will come and give us affection and warmth, he will sympathize with us and help us, he will try to make our life exactly the way he sees it. Yes, we will receive our capital, yes, he will bring it to us voluntarily, yes, we will take all this for ourselves without giving anything in return, but is that so? In this situation, by provoking another person to show concern, we thereby doom ourselves to forcibly and voluntarily reworking our own desires and aspirations, we are simply assigned not ours, and we accept it. Thus, we find ourselves in a dependent position on the donor and form a dependent relationship with him. He depends on our loneliness and its manifestation, and we depend on his ability to give us what we supposedly want, although we and he absolutely do not need it.

This run from oneself to an imaginary other, this desire to compensate for the inner lack, this desire to get enough takes us away from the most important thing, from the opportunity to understand why we need this loneliness and what it gives us. And it gives us ourselves. It is in it that we become true personalities and individuals, and from this we run into the strong arms of others, we are unbearably scared to imagine that we are exactly what we are at the moment of our experience of loneliness.

Loneliness as separation and striving for love

Spiritual distance from others and a deeper sense of ourselves gives us the opportunity to see a person next to him in his own individuality. It may be ironic, but when we are alone we are most capable of love. I mean that we can love purely and sincerely (I do not deny that pure and sincere love is available without a sense of loneliness) and we will feel it to the fullest. We will feel our love in another person through feeling it in ourselves.

I see this as a fundamental principle of the beauty of being in love. For me, it's like being naked in front of another person and enjoying the feeling of being in front of another. As an opportunity to feel in love through complete detachment and independent self-esteem. How to love thanks to, not in spite of.

Fog, fog, fog.