2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Sometimes I wonder with horror what it's like to be a man.
By and large, no one thinks about him, about a man. How does it feel for him to live?
People think more about seals and fur seals.
Everyone (let's not point a finger) thinks only about whether he loves or dislikes. Does-does not. Will come, will not come.
Will change - will not change. A woman dependent on a man is like a prisoner whose arms have been twisted and tied with the elbows to someone else. To her man. As soon as he moves, she hisses, "it hurts me!" When he freezes, she jerks - why are you frozen? you are alive? Are you treating me?
I exaggerate this, as always. But by and large, take a closer look in the mirror. Truly thinking about a man can be a woman who either no longer expects anything from him, or whom he calls a mother.
More and more of my acquaintances men complain of loneliness. They look lonely. Choose loneliness. Sometimes they just need us to pet them and not ask questions. To my shame, I can stroke, but in most cases I cannot resist asking questions. Because I'm worried about myself. Does he apply to me. Most of my acquaintances women in one way or another, do not wash so by rolling, draw out the attitude of men. Anything.
Meanwhile, the man gets tired and closes his eyes. He no longer wants to see either his business, or his woman, or his global responsibility for everything. If something doesn't work out for him, he's an asshole. He lives with the feeling "I'm an asshole", and he has no magic word "but". It's all easier with us. I'm not doing well at work, but my husband is good. I have no husband, no job, but legs. And the chest. Well, yes, I'm fat, but Katka is even thicker. For men this "but" for some reason does not work. Their rules are honest, strict and simple. Do you have big balls, but no career? Well, you are an asshole. You have a Bentley, but you don't have a beloved woman? Well, you are an asshole. Do you have a beloved woman, but no Bentley? you are an asshole!
They are eternally embedded in competition - once, and in hierarchy - two. They always find out who is the puppy and who is in charge of the playground. And sometimes, when they come home, they just want to lie face down and close their eyes. Alone. Because if not alone, then again an asshole. A weakling and a mattress. I could never be a man. I am a weakling and a mattress, and often roar under the covers. And no one will say a word to me. I won't say a word to myself. And real heroes have a tough taboo on self-pity.
I was young and my husband was building a business. In the 90s. He came home and lay down with his eyes closed. And I wanted him to talk to me. And he spoke. Barely alive with fatigue.
Then, already in my unmarried life, I wanted something else from my beloved men. To love. To get married. To roses. Do not hurt me. Do not move. Or not. Move - and do me well. How do they feel? The further into the forest, the less I understand this. And when I have enough imagination to imagine that sometimes they need to be simply accepted and understood, and kept silent, and brought tea, and all this - not today or tomorrow, but for a long, long time, until everything is working out - then it seems to me that I understand everything. Then the floor disappears, and there are just two adults who can do something good for each other. Supportive. Friendly. Loving.
This is the first time in my life that I seriously think about it. It seems to me that they are becoming more lonely and abandoned amid all these courses for bitches and female independence. And they cannot tell anyone about this, about this growing loneliness of theirs. And out of this pitiful place, out of this anxiety, I no longer get anything from a man to want. Although from the point of view of successful women, I get a complete asshole. After all, I do not have a fur coat, a husband and even a regular text "good night". So don't take an example from me, don't.
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