Types Of Jealousy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In psychology, it is customary to understand jealousy as a complex complex of feelings of aggression, self-doubt, dependence, various fears and depression.

Jealousy in a relationship is doubts about one's value for a loved one, which leads to the experience of one's own insignificance for a partner, which can result in a feeling of global insignificance of oneself in this world. Jealousy can make a person feel dependent on a partner and fear of losing him, and this makes the jealous person even more untenable. Also, a jealous person is always filled with aggression of various orientations (towards a partner, or towards himself, or towards an opponent).

Jealousy is a feeling that is inherent in any loving person. Sometimes the behavior of a person to whom we feel affection causes this conditionally negative feeling in us, and this can lead to quarrels, resentments, scandals, and violence. Jealousy is capable of burning through and through, sticking needles into the flesh and endlessly torturing. Unfortunately, not all people are conscious enough to know what to do with all this.

Jealousy is certainly based on our own inner world, on our claims, projections, emotions, and passionate love.

The main types of jealousy:

1. Situational jealousy. Caused by a specific, explicit situation where the partner gave a real reason to be jealous. If the situation changes, the jealousy goes away.

2. Jealousy as a character trait. The reason is complexness and self-doubt. The feeling of one's own inferiority causes strong jealousy, since a partner can always find someone better: smarter, more beautiful, and richer. In this case, the jealous person introduces himself into a state of rejection, so that the partner does not have time to do it first.

In the case of jealousy as a character trait, we can say that for such a person jealousy is like a thirst for possession, is one of the most common types of jealousy. The reason is that a person fantasizes to himself about how wonderful his partner will be, how he will satisfy his needs and how amazing his life will be with his beloved, that is, our hopes and anticipations are pinned on the partner. But when a partner does not meet these expectations (and he always does not correspond to some extent), and sometimes destroys the jealous's fantasies at the root, then he gets angry out of fear of losing the fantasized, because now he now needs to face reality, with the unknown, and for this he is not ready. This is especially painful for those people who are dependent and not self-sufficient. And speaking of lack of independence, we do not mean only material benefits, because it can easily manifest itself on the mental level and in financially wealthy people.

Jealousy as a thirst for possession can be attributed to the unwillingness to face their own fears of loneliness and lack of demand. If there are any, jealousy can work around the clock, absorbing huge amounts of psychic energy. In life, this way of avoiding fear looks like endless scandals and partner control. In such a situation, jealousy is an attempt to force the partner to "love", that is, to continuously serve the fears of the jealous person, proving that he has no reason to be afraid of loneliness and that someone really needs him, thus the partner becomes in some sense the property of the jealous person … The question "Do you love me?" becomes a requirement of a person to gratify his lack of self-confidence, and even sex can be just a way to feel needed, and not much more.

3. Obsessive absurd ideas about how his partner deftly cheats on him.

In a more light version - jealousy as the fear of being a sucker … Fear of humiliation. A jealous person seems to have a presentiment that a partner has entered into a conspiracy with a lover and makes a sucker out of a jealous person, deceives him and simply taunts him, and, in order to protect his dignity, arranges personal hell for the “unfaithful” partner.

And okay if the partner is really unfaithful and the jealous person is deservedly angry, but the point is that this type of jealousy blinds, and the jealous person does not realize that nothing like this is happening in reality, but he “acts ahead of the curve” so as not to be deceived sucker (in his head). A jealous person feels omniscient, because he cannot be deceived, he is smart enough and perceptive to spot such things immediately, so he does not need to arrange a survey, you can immediately blame and punish.

In advanced cases, the desire to reveal deception, a secret conspiracy against a jealous person, exposing the wrong partner can become the meaning of life (delirium of jealousy). A jealous person gives himself up to his obsessions to the fullest and tries to catch his partner cheating in any situation. Every suitable case is used as proof of the deceit of the partner. Otherwise, one would have to admit that the jealous person has been twisting himself all this time, since these accusations are just self-deception, a fantasy of a sick subjective reality, but this will not happen. The psyche of a jealous person, in order to survive, it is much easier to project their suffering onto a partner, making the beloved one who brings suffering, make him that evil from the outside, which sows injustice and deception. It is impossible to look into oneself, it is impossible to admit that he himself is the source of his torment and horror, since it will be impossible to bear it. Delirium of jealousy is considered one of the most intractable symptoms, and this is what makes a jealous person a tyrant for his partner.

And a few more words about jealousy:

Jealousy as distrust. Some believe that jealousy is caused by distrust, but this concept does not carry a semantic load, since distrust itself is a fairly neutral phenomenon, but the fears that form around it are quite subjective and unstable.

But not every jealousy is accompanied by distrust, because you can be jealous of anything - work, hobby, dog, etc. Well, if a person as a whole is jealous, then there is no need for reasons of distrust for him at all, his psyche is able to find a reason from scratch.

Jealousy as a need. What is poison in large doses is medicine in small doses. Sometimes mild jealousy can throw up passions in a relationship by the fact that, being a little jealous of our partner, we already look at him differently, see him more attractive to others, and therefore to ourselves. The main thing is not to go too far, know when to stop and respect your partner.