2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Signs of unhealthy boundaries
* Tell everything.
* Communicate on an intimate level at the first meeting.
* Fall in love with a new acquaintance.
* Being overly enthralled - absorbed in another person.
* Act on the first sexual impulse.
* Be sexy not for yourself, but for your partner.
* Go against personal values or rights to please others.
* Do not notice when someone puts inappropriate boundaries.
* Do not notice when someone invades your boundaries.
* Take food, gifts, touch or sex when you don't want to.
* Touch the person without asking.
* Take as much as you can get for the sake of receiving.
* Give as much as you can give in order to give.
* Allow others to take from you as much as they can.
* Let others direct your life.
* Let others describe your reality.
* Let others define (evaluate) you.
* Believe that others can anticipate your needs.
* Expect others to meet your needs automatically.
* Fail to have someone take care of you.
* Violence against oneself.
* Sexual and physical abuse.
* Food and chemical abuse.
Signs of healthy boundaries
* Trust but verify.
* Reveal yourself a little bit each time, pausing to see how others react to your revelation.
* Build close relationships gradually.
* Before giving in to the impulse, think about the consequences.
* Show sexuality when you want to be sexy, concentrating on your feelings, and not watching the reaction of your partner.
* Establish and value your own values, regardless of what others think.
* Notice when the other person is showing inappropriate boundaries.
* Notice when someone breaks your boundaries.
* Say no to food, gifts, touch, sex that you don't want.
* Ask permission before touching anyone.
* Respect others without taking advantage of someone else's generosity.
* Respect yourself and give as much as you want, not too much, hoping to please someone.
* Don't let others take advantage of your generosity.
* Trust your own decisions.
* Determine your own point of view.
* Know who you are and what you want.
* Understand that friends and partners cannot read minds.
* Be clear about your desires and needs, while realizing that you may be turned off, but you can ask.
* Be your own loving parent.
* Talk to yourself softly, with humor, with love and respect.
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