2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
And happiness was so close …
(about disappointment in your partner)
“Everything was fine, and then everything went bad! He / she became a different person! What happened? What should I do? Maybe we no longer fit each other and we need to part?” Often couples come to the family psychologist with such questions. Frightened, confused, angry.
Is disappointment always the end of a relationship?
Many people know that after a wonderful candy-bouquet period, where everyone tries to appear in the best light, when something that does not fit into the desired idea of a partner is successfully squeezed out, the next stage comes - disappointment. But not everyone knows that this stage is not the last, because, both in charm and in disappointment, the picture of reality is distorted.
Disappointment is a very difficult feeling to live with. When you suddenly discover that the other is not living up to your expectations. Frustration. And it is difficult to come to terms with this, because then you have to search for new ways to solve your problems. Therefore, it is easier to continue trying to change your partner, whoever knows how: tantrums, manipulations, punishments, threats, ignorance …
Often one cannot be disappointed in one go. And this manifests itself in anger and constant claims to the partner. That is, an attempt to fix him so that he still becomes what we need for our happiness.
There is no growing up without frustration. When you are qualitatively disappointed, you come to the understanding that no one is to blame and no one should. Everyone is as he is. And he gives only what he can and wants. And for example, he does not have something else that we need. It's sad, of course, but not the end of the world.
After disappointment, relationships only begin when, understanding each other's limitations, there is still a lot of value, and the rest can be adjusted or agreed upon. If interest in this person persists. There is a choice of your partner again, but this time real and not ideal, and not imaginary.
But, with the same success, after disappointment, relationships can not only begin, but also end if it turns out that there is nothing more to give each other. This is a sad reality, but still better than hating the person next to you, seeing life passing by, while remaining constantly dissatisfied and unhappy.
Disappointment is an integral and very important stage in the development of a relationship. Many do not wait for it to end and disperse before they see their real partner, who could be quite suitable. On the other hand, hanging in charm and anticipation also prevents you from facing a real situation and making appropriate decisions.
Recommended:
Oh, No! Not That. The Charm Of Disappointment
I love people, and by naivety, I speak openly with them. And I'm waiting for open reciprocity, And after that I smoke bitterly … I. Guberman “In the article I was confused by the phrase“disappointment in the mother.”I still disagree with this.
Your Own Life Or A Relay Race From Your Childhood? The Right To Your Life Or How To Escape From The Captivity Of Other People's Scripts
Do we ourselves, as adults and successful people, make decisions on our own? Why do we sometimes catch ourselves thinking: "I am now speaking like my mother"? Or at some point, we understand that the son repeats the fate of his grandfather, and so, for some reason, it is established in the family … Life scenarios and parental prescriptions - what impact do they have on our destiny?
Partner Disappointment In A Healthy Relationship Is Inevitable
And so let's talk about relationships from the point of view of Gestalt, or, to be more precise, from the point of view of the dialogue-phenomenological model of Gestalt therapy. To repeat the statement I made in the title, in a healthy relationship, disappointment with your partner is inevitable.
7 Signs Your Partner Is A Narcissist How To Tell If A Partner Is A Narcissist At The Beginning Of A Relationship?
How to determine at the very beginning of a relationship that your partner is a narcissist, understand what awaits you, and with whom you enter into a relationship in order to make decisions consciously in the future and not experience excruciating pain?
No Worthy Partner Or A Habit Of Being Disappointed (about Disappointment In A Relationship)
Disappointment. First meeting. “Look, do not disappoint me.” No matter how the tone of this phrase is said, it sounds threatening. It contains the threat of losing some important human experience about you. For example, admiration, respect or love.
