2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
“Previously, our daughter was diligent in her studies, worried about poor grades, and was seriously involved in sports. But some time after she turned twelve, she seemed to be replaced. In all subjects, I slipped, interest in sports disappeared. He doesn't accept help, he says, I'll figure it out myself."
What to do?
Let's start with the fact that before you "fix" something, you need to know where and what "broke". The child does not study well.
Why?
- Doesn't know how to study, i.e. does not know how to work with a book, does not know how to prepare for oral subjects, for tests, for exams, does not know how to allocate time, does not know how to concentrate on one thing, reads slowly, does not read at all, poor handwriting, does not know how to organize his workplace, is often distracted, inattentive, bad memory, etc.
- He does not know how to organize his time in such a way that there is enough for everything and - as a result - does not have time for anything. Gradually, the volume of what has not been done becomes more and more, and the child simply “gives up” and prefers not to do anything at all: there is still no time to do it. In this case, the child needs the help of his elders: organize his working day in such a way that there is enough time for everything; for meals, on the way to school and home, etc.
- Fear: the child is afraid to answer at the blackboard, is afraid to make a mistake, to get a bad mark, is afraid that they will laugh, will not listen, speak ugly or incorrectly, that he looks bad, ugly (ugly), he has the wrong height (too big or too small), poorly dressed, etc. fears, in fact, a great many, among them there are many such that we - adults, seem ridiculous, far-fetched. But for a child, this fear is real, it paralyzes the child, preventing him from adequately perceiving himself and reality, distorting this reality. As a result, the child seems to "freeze", he is busy only with his fears. Is it up to him to study at such moments?
- The team in the class is not in tune with learning, and the child cannot resist the team. He does not want to be an outcast “nerd”, which means that for this he will have to abandon his studies and switch to the interests and activities of his classmates. The worst option here is bullying the child by his classmates. In this state of affairs, by far the best option is to change school or at least class.
- Conflict with teachers - no matter what the reason, there is simply a conflict, and the child cannot contact the teacher normally, adequately. It can be extremely difficult for both sides to resolve the conflict effectively enough, but here the child cannot do without the help of his parents, even a high school student. Competent parental support is very important.
- The teacher shouts or speaks loudly during the lesson. And the child does not at all tolerate screaming or talking in raised tones, loud sounds. therefore, he is not busy studying, but overcoming the fear of loud voices and screams. If the teacher just has a loud voice, you can ask to transfer the child to the end of the class, to the last desk.
- The child does not understand the teacher's explanations - also for various reasons: it is incomprehensible for him to explain, a certain number of lessons are missed due to illness - gaps in the material, the previous material is poorly mastered. And if a child cannot work in a lesson, he "turns off". and again a space. Here the support and help of parents is needed: to explain, to "catch up" the lost time. You can hire a tutor for several sessions to recover what you missed.
- The child is very active, energetic, "fidgety", it is difficult for him to perform the same action for a long time, or even just sit in one place. In this case, it is necessary to engage in the development of perseverance and patience in the child. As an option - collect puzzles, and this can be done on a computer. It would be nice to collect puzzles with your child. Mom can teach the child all kinds of handicrafts, preparation of complex dishes.
- The child lacks the ability to listen attentively to the teacher's explanation, as a result - a violation of discipline in the lesson, "overlooked" educational material, then poor-quality preparation for the next lesson. Here you need games and actions that develop attention, the ability to focus on the work being done.
- Poor health of the child, especially in the "transitional" age - during hormonal changes. This is a sharp change in mood, headaches, low or high blood pressure, general weakness of the body. The most important thing during this period is adherence to sleep, nutrition, change of work and rest, necessarily - a 30-40-minute walk before bedtime, preferably with your parents or with one of them, a relaxing bath with salt, vitamins.
- Difficult home environment: unstable relationships between family members, especially between dad and mom, grandparents and parents, the birth of a younger brother or sister, parents are very busy at work.
- Divorce of parents or the period before the divorce: the parents simply have no time for the child.
- "Change" of one of the parents: the mother is getting married, and the child lives in a new family with his stepfather, and from time to time he meets with the father or does not meet at all. The worst option here is if mom, in a conflict with dad, tries to make her ally out of the child, in every possible way denigrates dad and his behavior. A child in such a situation is forced to take on functions that are completely beyond his power due to his age.
- Early sexual education of a child, interest in the opposite sex of a psychologically unprepared child. As a rule, this interest is generated with the help of the media, the Internet, films, advertisements, etc. It is very important here both the awareness on the part of the parents - what the child reads, what films he watches, which sites he visits, and the existence of a trusting relationship between the parents and the child, the opportunity to discuss what he read, what he saw.
- Insufficiently developed sense of responsibility in the child. In this case, starting from grade 1, it is possible to negotiate with the child: to draw up such an oral agreement for the performance of any business. Such an agreement must necessarily contain a "clause" about what will happen if one of the parties does not fulfill its part of the agreement.
As you can see, there are many reasons why a child suddenly began to study poorly. And the task of parents, first of all, is to find out what reasons their child has. And only after that there is an opportunity to do something, change, help your daughter or your son. Some issues can be resolved on your own, but relationship issues are best resolved with a specialist in the field.
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