2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I worked today with a very typical problem - I will describe it conditionally - useful for everyone. So…
Imagine…
- deliberate rupture of "dead" and empty relationships, - moving to more comfortable in a psychological sense - new living conditions, - a thousand opportunities to establish your further and …
- the hardest feelings on the eve of changes …
As if it is easier to stay in the old, despite its dysfunction, destructiveness …
What do you think is the reason for this? What are these feelings based on? After all, it is natural and easy to move from bad to good …
Of course, each case is special, but the reason may be as follows …
Such states are often based on untreated childhood trauma, when a child, experiencing a breakup with a significant but rejecting adult (father or mother), experienced a psychological breakdown, a big, serious blow. In this case, each subsequent break will be a trigger for him, starting a sick childhood state.
I will give a conditional example.
Olga (32 years old) - a young, energetic woman six months ago came to a conscious decision: to get out of unproductive marital relations, which she had been torturing with difficulty in recent years. Her husband made her decision and the spouses decided - to disperse, separate by summer. Olga seemed to be glad - this is what she wanted for so long, what she finally accepted; she is expected to return to her homeland, new, purchased housing, desired future prospects. And yet, as change approaches, a woman is seized by sadness and serious doubts about the future …
Olga is young, physically healthy, financially secure and does not want a past life, but she experiences what she is experiencing … What is the reason for her condition, if you look at the root? And how can you help a woman to strengthen her inner core? Let's think - understand …
Olga is a regular customer (we have worked before) and I know her story very well; I'll tell you in general terms …
Olga's parents divorced during her preschool period. After leaving the family, her father never appeared in her life. The mother left her daughter to her grandmother and went to work in the capital. The grandmother and grandfather, who was not native by blood, raised their granddaughter in love and harmony, but the contact of the child with the mother was lost … With living parents, Olenka grew up an orphan, feeling abandoned … It is these feelings she is experiencing now, experiencing a new breakup … Despite the lack of love in marriage regardless of objectivity …
Today Olga and I separated the feelings of little Olyushka from the state of an adult Olga - showing genuine sadness … Olga sees: it is not she who is afraid - she is afraid of her inner, once rejected child, and he - the child - had something to fear: without the caretakers of adults, the baby can suffer and die. And the fears of an adult woman are unjustified - her marriage is irreparable and died long ago. We resourced the tiny girl Olga with acceptance and care, healing the triggering algorithm, and listened to the current state: the client became more confident and calmer, her anxiety passed. In the future, we will continue our work, strengthening the achieved result. But the initial awareness of the defining connections can heal a lot.
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