2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
One of the important problems of neurosis is the alienation of a person from himself. This leads to the construction of an artificial, idealized "I". In order not to meet his true "I", the neurotic creates a huge number of psychological defenses. But the protective structure of the neurotic is fragile. She generates a lot of fears
So, neurotic fears:
1. Fear of losing the created inner balance
The neurotic's experience tells him that he cannot rely on himself. Any insignificant circumstance can ruin his mood, he can fall into a rage, lose his temper, become depressed, passive. This creates a constant sense of uncertainty and instability.
but) Fear of becoming insane Is a kind of fear of losing balance. Appears in a neurotic in moments of intense suffering. This does not mean that the neurotic will really go mad. This is a sign of a threat to the idealized self-image and unconscious rage. It seems to a person that he is falling apart.
Rage can be unconscious, then the neurotic feels a strong panic attack, which is accompanied by sweating, dizziness, fear of fainting. This speaks of a deep-seated fear that the violent impulses will spiral out of control. If the rage is externalized, then the neurotic experiences fear of spiders, snakes, night thieves, thunderstorms, ghosts.
b) Fear of changing the established order of life - the second kind of fear of losing balance. A neurotic may be upset because of the upcoming move to another city, change of home, job, travel.
Also, this fear can become an obstacle to psychotherapy. The fear that she will destroy the current balance in life and make everything worse. And yes, psychotherapy will shatter the current balance, but it will make it possible to build something new, on more real and solid foundations.
2. Fear of exposure
The neurotic always tries to seem to himself and to others not who he is, but more harmonious, more rational, more powerful, more ruthless. This manifests itself in the fear of being a deceiver. Fear of being exposed can be triggered by any situation that involves testing. For example, looking for a new job, new relationships, exams. Any action that can make it visible.
As a consequence, it appears:
but) Shyness or
b) Caution - it is they who love me at first, and then, when they know better, they will stop loving me.
This has several consequences: either avoid all challenging situations, or become perfect!
What is the neurotic afraid of if exposed? This is the next fear.
3. Fear of neglect, humiliation, ridicule
This fear is the result of low self-esteem. In neurosis, imagined pride rises and real self-esteem diminishes. At the same time, the "I" of the neurotic is very small, and the significance of others is too inflated. Others become very important to him. This creates hypersensitivity. He is very afraid of neglect and humiliation. The consequence is the lack of determination of such a person to set desired goals for himself in life. A neurotic does not dare to approach people whom he considers better than himself, does not dare to express his own opinion, does not show creative abilities even if he possesses them. He is very afraid of being ridiculed.
4. Fear of any change. There are two options:
a) Leaves his problem in uncertainty, hoping that everything will somehow be solved by itself.
b) Tries to change too quickly. This is the result of the neurotic being intolerant of his imperfection.
Fear of change is born of doubt whether it will lead to something worse. It is the horror of the unknown, of the opportunity to eliminate your neurotic defenses and meet your true self.
All these types of fears arise from unresolved internal conflicts. But without going through them it is impossible to come to oneself. All roundabouts will only lead to a dead end. Meeting your fears, investigating them, reducing the intensity to the possibility of their living will lead to a cure for neurosis.
(based on the theory of neuroses by Karen Horney)
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