Angels And Demons Psychology

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I want to talk with you about some of the personality traits of a psychologist. And there are two triggers at once: an article about empaths and an article about psychologists "with specialties" (in the picture is Hannibal Lector, so it is clear whose garden the stone is in). The first article praises and glorifies women empaths, in a way that is so luscious that even my inner narcissist is withering from the sugar overdose. The second hurts my favorite psychopaths, among whom there are excellent specialists, and I personally witness this. Now let's go in order.

I am the very empathic woman about whom this article was written. Moreover, my empathy is partly natural, and partly acquired - obtained in the process of education and revealed in personal therapy. True, unlike the author of the article, I have never considered myself either the greatest happiness or the greatest riddle. I am an ordinary woman with pluses and minuses - loving, suffering, sometimes wildly annoying, and sometimes delightfully beautiful. And I am also a psychologist - a specially trained person, a guide, a tool for cognition.

Yes, I really "feel" people - their pain, emotions, mood. However, I do not possess any magical qualities: I have no X-ray vision, I do not possess telepathy and I will never reach the insight of a lie detector. Moreover, these abilities have nothing to do with empathy.

Empathy is the ability to empathize - and to do it consciously, and without losing yourself. Professional qualifications allow the empathic psychologist to be compassionate in a constructive way - not dissolving into the other person and their feelings, but bringing a sense of acceptance and emotional closeness to the process. While empathy is by far a natural gift, it can be developed. At Stanford there is an entire center for the study of the phenomenon of empathy. There are many interesting works and tests to measure it.

Like any “wonderful” quality, there are many myths about empathy:

- an empath cannot be deceived - they see right through people;

- they always tell only the truth;

- it is difficult for them to find a partner, because empaths recognize only serious relationships;

- empaths need complete freedom - they do not tolerate restrictions;

-they are overly emotional, they have no logic, and they do not know how to control themselves;

- Empaths tend to ask a lot of questions, which annoys others immensely.

- they are filled with love and unable to hate.

The empath is really hard to fool, but he is not the only superhero with a magical gift. It is just as difficult to fool a profiler, police officer, or psychopath. No miracles - purely mechanical algorithm combined with experience and professional skills. In a way, the empath is the antipode of the psychopath with his alexithymia. Where the first has emotions filled with "color", the second has logic and clear calculation. However, both have the ability to recognize lies. The first is due to the "reading" of other people's emotions. The second is due to their complete absence and their own ability to masterfully lie.

Empaths don't always tell the truth. Like all living people, sometimes we can lie. We value freedom no less than others, but we have to adhere to certain rules in order to live in society. Empathy does not affect logic in any way - we perfectly coexist with a purely feminine desire to buy 5 pairs of identical shoes and the ability to build complex multi-moves when it comes to working negotiations. Empaths can be passionate in love and just as passionate in hate. This quality is equally inherent in both women and men. Empaths make great psychologists, doctors, and teachers. These are wonderful people, but they are just people - with all the ensuing consequences.

Empathy is not a blessing or a curse. This is the ability to "respond" to the experiences of another person and together with him to "live" certain emotions. This quality does not in the least prevent you from finding a partner you like. This does not mean that empaths, like swans, pair up once and for all. In my life there were long-term relationships and short novels, there were violent quarrels and passionate reconciliation. I can't say that empathy has ever prevented or helped me to meet a decent man. I have had a fair amount of assholes, and no magic gift helped me avoid heart wounds. On the other hand, empaths do have sincerity and emotionality. This makes the relationship with us richer, but, alas, it is not a guarantee of long-term. Personally, I am of the opinion that the key to creating a successful relationship is primarily the emotional maturity of partners. With its presence, even such polar personalities as an empath and a psychopath can get along.

Actually, at this point I would like to move on to the topic of psychopaths. Everyone knows that psychologists should be inherent in empathy, they should not have a tendency to dominate and suppress, and should have a certain flexibility of thinking. With the phrase psychologist-psychopath, many fall into a stupor, taking it for a bad joke. My point is that for all their limitations, highly functioning psychopaths can be quite effective in crisis situations. Where emotions get in the way, they are simply irreplaceable. I myself had experience with a psychopathic psychologist (according to Haer). In a couple of sessions, we solved a very difficult issue. The secret is simple: where empathy obscured my eyes, his cold calculation came in handy.

I am by no means saying that anyone with a personality disorder can be a psychologist. Of course, when choosing a specialist, you should be aware of his “peculiarities”. To hide such things is not only unethical, but also criminal. I'm just saying that you can't idealize some and demonize others. Not all empaths are angels, and not all psychopaths are monsters. There are many relatively healthy people who choose the profession of a psychologist to act out their own traumas and complexes.

So, in my opinion, the question is not so much about natural features, but about education, experience and one's own “elaboration”. All psychologists, without exception, must undergo personal therapy and supervision. Success and effectiveness is determined not so much by the presence of certain qualities, but by the ability to use existing techniques and tools, combining them in a single individual approach for the benefit of the client.

When choosing your psychologist, be guided not by labels and fashionable words, but by objective factors: experience in working with such requests, customer reviews and specialist education. And most importantly, trust your own reaction to the person to whom you are going to open up.