2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Over the past one hundred and fifty years, psychologists, inspired by Freud, have been struggling with inferiority complexes, bringing out the causes of human problems, fears and failures for all to see. Each new decade spawns trends that promise to "precisely and forever" eradicate human weaknesses and shortcomings. Those of us who have the patience and courage do it year after year - uproot and overcome. Others attend popular trainings feeling temporary improvement. But most do not dare to fight their dragons, feeling distrust of psychology and psychologists.
At one time, being a teacher of a higher school, I taught the course “ The psychology of codependent relationships . Students who studied the reasons why love dies, families break up, children suffer, and became gloomy from class to class. Definitely, young people, many of whom at that time were in love and dreamed of the future, this knowledge was not to the court.
Once one student asked: - And about those families where everything is fine, are we going to talk?
Will we study correct, successful, harmonious marriages? - Yes, - another supported her: - How can knowing about unhappiness and its causes help us personally create a happy family?
I clearly remember how much confusion I experienced then. Needless to say, efforts to find research studies on relationships in happy marriages have yielded no results. Since then, I have repeatedly become convinced that the overwhelming majority of psychological works are actually devoted to problems, and against their background the number of books in which, from a scientific point of view, speaks about success, happiness, and satisfaction is very small. Perhaps the most fortunate in this sense is business psychology.
However, here, too, the authors urge to fight against weaknesses, overcome uncertainty, storm fears, fight with anxiety …
The language of psychology is similar to the language of war and survival. Several years ago, American psychologist Martin Seligman proposed a new direction in the study of personality - positive psychology. Despite the fact that his scientific work with the same title is known to few, the books of another "positive" psychologist Mihai Csikszentmihalyi "Stream" and "In Search of the Stream" are sold in millions of copies and top the bestseller lists. This means that people still believe that the science of the soul is capable of answering the question "How to become happy?" What is the difference between positive psychology and other modern authoritative schools and trends?
Seligman M., Chikszentmihalyi M. and other authors, still little known in our country, are sure that even a deep study and understanding of psychological problems does not answer the questions: What is happiness? and How to become / be happy and self-sufficient?
“The problem is,” writes Seligman, “that happiness and unhappiness are absolutely, completely different phenomena. And not at all the opposite, as is commonly thought.
Psychology has long and thoroughly studied the causes of human suffering and has achieved incredible success in this. The time has come to direct the efforts of science to the study of phenomena that until recently were considered everyday, everyday. First of all, it is happiness, well-being, involvement. Amazing, awesome and so simple idea. An idea that personally gives me hope, freedom and scope for action. Instead of trying to sort out mistakes and causes of failures until the end of our days, to fight against shortcomings and weaknesses, each of us is able to identify and use our personal, unique merits for our own benefit.
Which, with the light hand of the founder of positive psychology, were called the strengths of the personality.
The development and use of personality strengths is the best perspective for a modern person. This is a chance to stop looking into the past and focus on the present, in order to finally become a happy, confident and successful person, to realize oneself in any sphere of life. We will talk about what strengths are, how to find them and develop them in the next article.
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