2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What causes constant mental pain? As a rule, what is carefully pushed into the corners of consciousness, what cannot be cured with positive, pleasures and entertainment, what is most difficult to think and talk about.
Often, severe mental pain is associated with the rejected part of the personality (for example, a person who has been taught from childhood that one cannot be weak under any circumstances will reject his weak or sick part, be ashamed and hate it).
The rejection of a part of one's own personality is usually a consequence of childhood traumatic experiences, which are then superimposed on later psychological trauma, exacerbating the problem.
What hurts a person not only to talk, but even to think about, requires from the psychologist the most careful, truly jewelry work. Every word, every gesture must be verified, while the specialist must be as accepting as possible and, no less important, sincere in this acceptance.
A person who has entrusted you with his bleeding wound in the very depths of his "I", wrapped in a thick layer of protective bandages, which are firmly embedded in it, is very vulnerable. And even when he comes for help, he tries to protect his wound, because he is afraid of new pain.
It is not easy to accept that parents have not been able to provide enough love and warmth to build a basic sense of security and trust in the world in the child; that the rapist who touched the girl who was frozen with fear, and the memories of which she ousted from her consciousness, every minute with her: interferes with her going in a cramped subway car, where people touch her with their elbows, as if burning with fire, and every evening goes to bed with her and her husband …
It can be scary to realize that it really is - this deep wound inside, it is scary to be left without the usual psychological defenses, to believe that freedom and the ability to breathe deeply will come to replace this ghostly protective fortress, without experiencing any more pain with every breath.
But how can we get well if we reject, hate, ashamed of ourselves?
One of the main goals of psychotherapy is to help explore, acknowledge and accept the rejected parts of the personality, so that a person finds integrity and can feel happy.
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