Betrayal And Disgust - What Are These Words Useful For?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Proximity or Codependency? Betrayal and disgust will help you figure out what you are dealing with now.

Betrayal, disgust in culture is something scary and should be avoided. However, it is these two phenomena that make the picture of codependent and intimate relationships more understandable, and are often indicative of trying to figure out what kind of relationship you have.

At some point, being next to another person, ask yourself a question - do I want to be with him? It is quite possible that you answer in the negative. You may want to distance yourself from the person for a long time or for a while, but you probably feel the tension of this desire of yours.

Most likely, this tension is associated with feelings of guilt. You probably feel like a traitor at this moment.

Being alone for a while, doing other things, spending a vacation alone - these desires arise in almost everyone, but how to deal with them so as not to betray?

Sometimes the growth of your awareness and awareness of your partner leads to the fact that you realize that your needs, at least some part of them, are not related to this one person only. Then the question arises - do you have the right to start a life unrelated to this person?

The fear of betrayal in this place is very strong.

This fear has been so strongly absorbed into us since childhood that we simply run away from this place. How to hurt a loved one?

But in fact, the dilemma here is not whether to betray or not to betray. Here is the dilemma - whom to betray.

You will betray either yourself or another person.

And this is the place where the conflict of interest arises, makes your act truly ethical. It is in this place that a person is born. After all, you take upon yourself the entire burden of responsibility - whom to betray.

And this question is rhetorical.

You will answer it differently each time. But sometimes it becomes inevitable.

Betrayal cannot be avoided

The second feeling - disgust - is very beneficial for development. And it is very harmful if you ignore it, although the culture is built precisely on the principle of ignoring.

This is a nasty feeling. We strive to avoid it. Telling the other person that you dislike them is simply overwhelming.

But if you have no right to be disgusted, you are lost.

Your development will be stopped very soon. Moreover, it is precisely disgust that protects us from poisoning within human relationships as well.

But this is a natural reaction to excessiveness. If you are with a person and there is a lot of him for you, you should be disgusted.

Just an example: a friend called you. You love her, but she's been hanging on your ears for thirty minutes and talking about what a scoundrel her husband is. And you understand that you love your friend, and for the first five minutes it was good for you to talk to her, but for the last thirty-five you are tormented. At this point, disgust appears, like a light bulb that says "you betray yourself."

If you stay in this contact and hang up after 4 hours, you cannot help but feel exhausted and powerless.

Disgust is the reaction that allows you to build boundaries. If you feel it in contact with people, it means that the contact becomes excessive for you. It may even be very pleasant, but think for yourself - if you eat half a kilo of Napoleon, you will feel that something is wrong.

And many people build their lives in this way - eating 8 kg.

If you feel disgusted, give it the opportunity to perform a useful function. Ask the question - what is excessive now? Do you want to keep the contact in this form?

Understanding the inevitability of betrayal and the value of disgust will help you to bring the boundary of contact with other people closer. And it is these two phenomena that will allow you to understand what kind of relationship you are in now.