2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Recently, during a consultation, I "accidentally" recalled an interesting technique. Even I would call it "thought transformation".
The bottom line is that each of us has something that we fear. Each area of our life has its own set of fear, fear and fear, which hinders us. Moreover, there is such an expression "what we are afraid of, we get it."
Why is that? Because we think about it. We constantly "meditate" on what we want to avoid. And in this process we identify ourselves, identify, in general, just become like those whom we do not want to be or acquire what we do not want to have. Through fears, we can understand our desires. The only thing that is needed is to transform fears into desires. We need to change the pictures and images in our thoughts and transfer them to the other side.
I would divide our fears into 2 categories: those that relate to character, personality; and something that is related to external factors.
First category. I am afraid to be like one of my relatives (I am constantly compared, and I would not want to be like her / him). Or I'm afraid of being a bad mother, a nervous spouse, etc.
In this case, you need to understand what we want to be. When we understand what we want from ourselves as a person / mother / spouse / friend / sister, it is necessary either to leave this image in our head (I want my image), or to reinforce it with an example from our environment. And he learns to focus not on his fear, but on his desire.
Perhaps in this case, it will help to write out in detail everything that you do not like in a relative, or what a bad mother / sister / spouse is for you and make a reverse image. In the case of a relative, you can reject him only because your similarity was imposed on you for a long time, and you wanted to pay attention to your individuality. Then just focus on what you like about yourself and forget about this relative altogether. Or you do not want to be like him, because you have heard criticism in his address, then transform the criticism.
Second category.
- I'm going to a new company and I'm afraid that if I say something, I will be ridiculed.
- I have a new leader, we have crossed paths with him before, I am afraid that we will not work together.
- I'm going to see a young man for a week, he has a lot of work, I'm afraid that I will be alone and he will not pay attention to me.
We have a lot of such small fears every day.
What do we really want?
- I want to be accepted in the new company, to be interesting to them, and also so that we have common topics of conversation that we could freely and calmly discuss.
- I want recognition from the leader. I want our interaction with him to be productive, fruitful and we would be a good team. I want him to trust me as an employee, as a professional in his field. I want help from him in moments where I cannot resolve the issue.
- I want us to be able to share how we spent the day, so that he wonders how I spent it, so that we can spend more time together.
In fact, our fears are not as important as the desires behind them. When we find out about our desires, then the question arises "how can I get it." In worrying about this, we no longer focus on our fear, it no longer bothers us, and it is important for us to satisfy what was hidden behind it - our desire.
Don't hide your desires. Give them the opportunity to live.
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