2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The psyche contains aspirations that are determined by its essence. As in the grain of a plant, there is a program for its embodiment, for example, in a flower. One of the mental aspirations is maturation into an autonomous, self-sufficient functioning individual. Only when this level of development is reached does the abundance of the possibilities of the world and human relations become available.
Then creativity is possible, an unmistakable feeling of one's occupation and getting pleasure from it. A work is possible that not only takes resources, but also replenishes them through satisfaction from the process and from their own success. Resilience is possible in solving life problems and overcoming trials. With a further rethinking of the complex into experience, and not into fears and limitations.
The inexhaustible resources of human relations become available - the filling thrill of intimacy, the reliability of friendship, the abundance of love, the joy of parenthood.
And this does not depend on the skills of the partner, but on our own mental capabilities. From the ability to open the heart to affection, to accept the emotional investment of a partner, to withstand the separateness and otherness of another, to support and calm oneself.
If we can understand ourselves, catch our own emotional movements and be aware of their motives, are able to satisfy our needs or ask for help in this, we are able to maintain a relationship without closing ourselves off from a partner, not wanting to have power over him and control him. And, on the contrary, then it is possible to feel invariably worthy and respect the dignity of the one who is nearby.
In fact, it is not the one who can read your mind and satisfy your needs without words that is valuable. Valuable is the one who has the patience to wait until you formulate yourself and say, and he can hear what you say, because it is important.
After all, where there is understanding without words, there are no different psyches, and, therefore, there is no value of the other and no choice to be with him. And there is just a coincidence of projections. And people are together as long as these projections coincide. In such a relationship, one has more power than the other. The one who is doomed to always remain incomplete, with an under-equipped psyche - after all, what only he can do for himself, the other does for him.
It makes sense to look not for someone who will support, protect, unconditionally accept, warm and understand, but for someone with whom you can learn to treat yourself in this way in your own inner space.
That person is yourself.
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