10 Tips From An Older, Wise Generation. About Life, Work, Study, Family, Loneliness, Age

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05

On the Internet, an interesting material rumbled, which combines life advice from more than 600 people over 40 years old. They were collected and organized by the writer and entrepreneur Mark Manson: he just turned 30, and he turned to subscribers of his blog over thirty-seven years old with a request to share important life experiences. Many of his subscribers responded to the request and sent detailed answers. And Mark noticed that several thoughts are constantly repeated and describe quite accurately what happens to a person who is in his twenties. It is the ten most valuable and frequently encountered sincere advice from these 600 people that we present to you today.

1. Health is our everything. Start taking care of him now, without delay

• We all know how to take care of our own health, eat right and sleep right, play sports and so on.
• But the opinion of the elders is always unanimous: become healthy and stay healthy in old age.
• Literally everyone said this, and about the same thing: what you do with your body has a cumulative effect.
• Your body does not suddenly break down one fine day; it gradually breaks down unnoticed over the years.
• Over the next 10 years, you should slow this destruction down.

“Your mind considers itself to be 10-15 years younger than the actual age of your body. Your health will go away faster than you think, you will not even have time to notice it”(Tom, 55 years old).

We are not talking about the banal "eat more vegetables" advice. Cancer patients, heart attack and stroke survivors, diabetics and hypertensive patients, people with sore joints and chronic pain - they all say the same thing:

“If I could go back and start over, I would start eating healthy foods and exercising nonstop. Then I found excuses for myself, but did not imagine the consequences. Move more, get enough sleep, eat rationally and healthy food, watch your teeth and body in general, take an interest in your blood pressure indicators, systematically undergo a physical examination - this option is available to everyone.

2. Financial confidence is very important. Start saving or investing in old age now

One reader wrote: “If your debt on loans exceeds 10% of your salary for the year, this should serve as a serious warning to you. Stop unnecessary spending, pay off debts, start saving. " Another: “I would like to save more money for a rainy day, because unexpected spending literally killed my budget. And I would like to pay more attention to my pension, because today it is very small for me."

Some people have had big problems in life due to their inability to save after thirty. One reader regrets bitterly that she did not start saving 10% of every paycheck when she was 30 years old. Her career ultimately went downhill and, at 57, she still faces tremendous financial difficulties. Another 62-year-old woman also did not make personal savings, as her husband earned more than her. Subsequently, they divorced, and all the money received after the divorce, she was forced to spend on solving sudden health problems with the prospect of ending her days in a nursing home.

Another reader said that he was forced to live on his son's money, as he unexpectedly lost his job during the 2008 crisis, having no savings in his account.

Readers suggested the following actions:

1. Create a personal financial "stabilization fund" (savings in cash or, if possible, in a bank account). Thousands of people were left without a livelihood due to health problems, lawsuits, divorce, business problems, inflation and more.
2. Spend a portion of each paycheck on fast-track loan repayments or save it in a savings account.
3. Refuse frivolous purchases.
4. Make it your main task to pay off your debts and loans as soon as possible.
5. Do not buy a home until you can provide yourself with the most affordable conditions for a loan or mortgage.
6. Don't invest in what you don't understand.
7. Don't trust stock brokers.

Over time, those people who in our country received salaries "in envelopes", did not pay taxes, do not have a stable and reliable business, and good prospects may experience difficulties. Many do not trust banks, trusts, funds, as they lost their investments during the Soviet period or later. And they can be understood. However, for all the instability and precariousness of the situation, in our country the types of investments usual for the whole world are still relevant: your contributions to the pension fund (they will give you at least a minimum income in old age), investments in real estate, to a bank account at interest.

Savings advice comes up most often on advice from those over 40. All people agree on one thing: try to save money as early and as much as possible, control your future pension (for a start, at least find out how much goes into your retirement account, what pension awaits you over time, how to improve the situation if possible). After all, the age from 30 to 40 is one of the most productive in a person's life.

3. Don't hang out with people who treat you badly

After the calls to take care of your physical and financial health, the most frequent piece of advice is quite interesting: everyone would love to go back in time and erect stronger restrictions in their personal lives in order to spend more time with good people. What exactly did they mean?

“Learn to say no to people, actions, and commitments that are of no value to your life” (Hayley, 37).

Jane, 52: “Don't tolerate people who don't treat you well. Dot. Do not tolerate them for financial gain. Don't tolerate them for emotional reasons. Do not tolerate them for the good of your children or for your own good."

Sean, 43: "Don't let mediocre people in your friends, work, love, relationships and life."

Usually people overcome their own limitations because they find it difficult to offend other people's feelings. Or they fall into the trap of wanting to change the other person, to please him, or make him feel better about himself. It never works and it even makes things worse. For twenty-year-olds, the world seems open, filled with possibilities, and lack of experience makes them cling to people, even if they don't deserve it. But thirty-year-olds have already learned that good relationships come with great difficulty, that there will always be enough people in the world to be friends with, so there is no reason to waste your time on those who will not support us on our path in life.

4. Be nice to those you care about

Rebecca, 40: “Tragedies happen in everyone’s life, with everyone’s family and friends. Be the person you can count on in times like these.

I think the interval between thirty and forty years is a decade when a lot of shit begins to happen to you and your loved ones that you might not even think about. Parents die, spouses die or cheat, children continue to be born, friends get divorced … The list is endless.

You probably cannot imagine how much you can help a person at such a time, just by being with him, listening, without condemning. Accordingly, calling for greater personal boundaries in front of those whom we do not want to let into our lives, many readers advise spending more time with those friends and family members who are really close to you.

five. Concentrate on what you're really good at

“In one word: focus. You can achieve more in life if you focus on doing one thing very, very well”(Erickson, 49).

Another reader: “I would advise myself from the past to focus on one or two goals / dreams and work hard for them. Do not be distructed.

And one more: “You have to accept that you cannot do everything. To achieve something in life, you have to sacrifice a lot."

Some readers have noted that most people choose their careers at the turn of their twenties, and like so many other choices made, this one is often wrong.

It takes years to find what we are really good at and enjoyable with.

But it's better to focus on your core assets and maximize them year after year.

“I would tell myself in my thirties to put aside what other people think and define my natural strengths, my passion, and then build my life around that” (Sarah, 58).

For some people, it will cost a lot of risks even at the age of thirty. This could mean the destruction of a career that has already spent ten years of life building, a loss of the income level for which they worked and to which they are already accustomed. Which brings us to the point …

6. Don't be afraid to take risks. You can still change

Richard, 41: “Although by the age of thirty most people think they should stick to the chosen path, it is never too late to start over. Over the past ten years, I have seen people most regretful of their decision to leave things as they are, even though they thought it was wrong. These are such quick ten years of life that turn days into weeks, weeks into years. And at forty they found themselves in the midst of a midlife crisis, doing absolutely nothing to solve a problem that they knew about ten years ago."

“Most of all I regret what I didn't do” (Sam, 47).

Many have noticed that society requires us to "decide" by the age of thirty - with a career, marital status, financial situation, and so on. But this is not true. In fact, dozens of sent messages literally begged not to

Deterring public expectations of an "adult" prevent you from taking risks and starting over.

Many readers were united by the decision to change careers after thirty and the ensuing improvement in their lives. One of them quit a high-paying job as a military engineer and became a teacher. Twenty years later, he calls it the best decision in life.

7. You must continue to grow and develop

Stan, 48: “You have two assets that you cannot replace: your body and your mind. Most stop developing and working on themselves after twenty. Most in their thirties are too busy to worry about self-development. But if you are one of the few who continues to learn, develop your thinking and take care of your mental and physical health, by the age of forty you will be light years ahead of your peers."

If someone can change at thirty, then he must work on himself to become better. Many readers have noted that the decision to sit down again at thirty is one of the most rewarding things they have done. Someone signed up for courses and seminars. Someone started their own business for the first time or moved to another country. Someone started seeing a psychologist or started practicing meditation.

“The number one goal should be to strive to become a better person, partner, parent, friend, colleague - in other words, to grow as a person” (Emilia, 39).

8. Nobody understands what he is doing. Get used to it

Thomas, 56: “If you are not dead yet - mentally, emotionally or socially - you cannot predict your life five years into the future. It will not go as expected. So stop thinking that you can plan ahead, stop worrying about what is happening now because everything will change anyway, and get over the urge to control the direction of your life. You can take a lot of chances and not lose anything - you cannot lose what you never had. In addition, your sense of loss is the fruit of your reflections, which will fade over time."

One of the lessons I learned in summing up my twenties was that no one really knows what they are doing. According to letters from those in their forties, this rule continues to work at a later age - in fact, it works forever.

Most of what you think is important now will look completely unimportant in ten or twenty years, and there is nothing wrong with that. This is called "development." Just try not to take yourself too seriously all the time (Simon, 57).

Prue, 38: “Despite the feeling of invulnerability that has accompanied you this decade, you do not know what will happen. And nobody knows. While this worries those who cling to permanence and security, it gives freedom once you realize the simple truth: everything is constantly changing. After all, there may be times of true sorrow. Don't numb the pain or avoid it. Sadness happens in everyone's life, it is the result of an open and passionate soul. Appreciate this. Above all, be kind to yourself and others, because life is a wonderful journey that keeps getting better."

9. Invest in your family - it's worth it

Cash, 41: “Spend more time with your loved ones. Your parents will always see you as a child, until you show yourself to them as an independent adult. Everyone is getting old. Everyone dies. Use the time allotted to you to build the right relationship and enjoy your family life."

• “I was inundated with letters about my family and stunned by their power. Family is a big new topic for our next decade of life, as it begins to touch us on both sides. Your parents are getting old and you need to think about how you will interact with them as an adult. You also need to think about building your own family."
• Most agree that it is necessary to leave in the past all resentments and problems with parents and learn how to interact with them. One reader wrote: “You are too old to blame your parents for any of your own shortcomings. At twenty, you could have just run away from home. At thirty you are an adult. Seriously. Be above that."
• Then each of us is faced with the following question: to have a child or not?

Kevin, 38: “You don't have time. You have no money. You need to make a career first. This will put an end to your usual life. Stop … Children are great. They make you better at everything. They force you to push your limits. They make you happy. Don't delay having babies. If you haven't done this before thirty, now is the time. You will never regret it."

The “right” time for children will never come because you have no idea what it is until you try it. If you have a good marriage and parenting environment, strive to have them as early as possible, it will give you a lot of joy (Cindy, 45).

Interestingly, there are many and similar letters. Anonymous, 43: “All I've learned in the last 10-13 years is bars, women, beaches, booze, clubs, trips to other cities, because I have no responsibilities other than work. I would give every memory of all this for a good woman who would truly love me … and maybe family. I would add that it is better to grow up for real and start a family than to be successful at work. All my peers have already got married, and many more than once! Being lonely all the time sounds cool to all my married friends, but no one should choose this path in their life."

On the other hand, several letters have expressed the opposite point of view. Don't feel obligated to have a family and children if you don't want to. What makes one happy does not make everyone happy. I decided to remain a bachelor with no children and still live a rich, happy life. Do What's Best for You (Anonymous, 40).

Takeaway: While family is not something that is absolutely necessary for happiness, most find that family is always worth the effort they put into it. Of course, provided there is a healthy and harmonious relationship in her.

10. Be kind to yourself, respect yourself

Be a little selfish and do something good for yourself every day, something else every month, and something wonderful every year (Nancy, 60). This point was rarely highlighted, but it was present in almost every letter: treat yourself better. There is no one who cares or thinks of you as much as you do. Life is hard, so learn to love yourself now because it will be harder to do it later.

Many used the old cliché: "Don't waste your energy on the little things in life."

Eldrie (60) wisely remarked: “When faced with another challenge, ask yourself if the outcome will matter in five or ten years? If not, spend a few minutes on it and move on."

Most readers agree with a simple rule - accept life as it is, with all its imperfections.

Which brings us to the last quote from Martin, 58:

“When I turned forty, my father told me that I would like to be forty, because at twenty you think you know everything, at thirty you realize that you are not, and at forty you can finally relax and just accept things like that, what they are. At fifty-eight, I want to say he was right."

P / S

With this article, we are not trying to infringe on the elections of certain fellow citizens.

We set the task of acquainting readers with different opinions, views, a wide range, a wide variety of age and social groups

Perhaps someone found something interesting for himself in the opinions expressed in this article, and someone found a reason for transformation.

Enjoy your experience! See you

For all questions, please contact HP.

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