When Anger Turns Into Aggression. How To Put Out A Fire?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I suspect that many are familiar with the feeling when the degree of irritation suddenly rises, anger obscures the eyes and it seems that steam will now go out of the ears. At some point, an imaginary fuse goes off, and a stream of curses is directed at the offender or at everyone around. Subsequently, we may regret what was said or done, but the train has already left.

I will speak out in defense of anger. Like any basic emotion, anger has a useful function. Anger signals an obstacle to our goals, a threat, injustice, an attempt on values or objects that are significant to us. Anger encourages struggle, resistance, and change. In situations where we experience fear, the impulse of anger weakens it and provides energy for action.

Of course, anger is not always directed directly at the source of the threat. Sometimes we can experience discomfort for completely different reasons, and general dissatisfaction can provoke hostile thoughts towards random people.

What else does not color the feeling of anger is that it in itself can give pleasure, and then a person consciously or unconsciously seeks reasons to express it, gets involved in conflicts, finds a "scapegoat."

But, one way or another, anger as an emotional state does not "trigger" aggression directly, but only accompanies the urge to destructive action.

What determines the strength of the impulse of anger?

• From how close the trigger that triggered the emotion of anger is to the theme developed in the course of evolution. By analogy with the feeling of fear: we are more often and more afraid of those things that caused fear in our ancestors (wild animals, heights, natural phenomena, etc.). This means that, other things being equal, feelings of anger arise more quickly in response to real obstacles in our path. That is why the traffic situation, traffic jams, the behavior of other drivers cause such violent emotions in traffic participants;
• How much the current situation that provokes anger resembles a childhood situation in which this trigger was learned. For example, if in childhood those around you often interrupted and did not let you finish, which caused you to be indignant, then it is likely that in adulthood, similar situations can play the role of a "red rag" for an impulse of anger. And the earlier a trigger was learned, the more difficult it is to weaken it;
• How often in your past there were episodes when you were subjected to pressure and experienced anger or rage;
• From the affective style of a person. We all differ in temperament and tendency to experience certain emotions, as well as in the speed of recovery after an emotional outburst. For certain personality types, anger and aggressiveness are part of the character structure.

How can you reduce the impact of anger on behavior?

The goal of self-regulation is not to suppress feelings of anger and not to experience negative emotions in principle (even with a strong desire, this is unrealistic), but to become aware of the emotion and have a wider range of its expression, i.e. learn to manage your actions in response to affect.

Thoughts are able to correct initial emotional impulses

Being in an agitated state due to haste and becoming the object of criticism from a stranger (a fellow traveler in a transport or a salesman in a store), I can automatically experience intense irritation that turns into anger. But I am also able to stop the escalation of anger: take a pause, think about my feelings, about the situation that provoked them, try to interpret it in a different way (criticism is not directed at me as a person), assess my general emotional state, remember the socially acceptable rules for expressing emotions …As a result, my involuntary affect will be transformed into a more restrained form.

Indulging in aggressive urges will only increase feelings of anger

If I want to weaken my aggressive tendencies, then it is an obvious mistake to replay in my imagination the situation that caused the anger and fantasies about the reprisal of the offender. Avoid feeding hostile thoughts and relieving tension with arm or leg movements that simulate a fight. Our feelings, thoughts and behavior are connected by one associative chain: by activating some links of the chain, we simultaneously activate others.

It is helpful to put emotions into words

If I notice that I am constantly in an irritated state and feel anger in certain situations, then it will be useful to share my experiences with someone close to someone who can be trusted. When I tell someone about my condition, I have to choose my words as accurately as possible. Thus, there is a cognitive processing of the experience and, at the same time, the appropriation of experiences to one's “I” (= I am responsible for experiencing anger).

Awaken the opposite emotions to anger

This is called "induction of incompatible reactions." It is difficult to be angry with a person and sympathize with him at the same time. In addition to empathy, humor can block aggressive impulses.

In the long term, relaxation techniques (relaxation) work better at reducing the sensitivity to emotions on the aggressive spectrum than intense and strenuous physical activity. And it is also important to train the ability to be aware of what our psyche is doing at any given moment in time.