How To Keep A Family Together And When It Is Impossible To Do It

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Statistics, with regular frequency, show that the divorce rate is steadily increasing. If earlier people lived in marriage for at least some long time, now they are getting divorced literally after six months of family life. What are the reasons for this not joyful phenomenon, is there a way to change the current situation. In order to understand this, it is necessary to understand the reasons, which are often not entirely obvious.

Many times I have heard the statements of the older generation, “So we have lived our whole life and did not run away, we lived together, it was difficult, hungry, but still together” or this kind he will hide at his neighbor's, and a day later he returns home. And there is nothing we have lived together for 40 years. Now it seems to us that life in conditions of hunger, war, violence is an almost unreal environment for family relationships, especially happy ones, but at that time it was the norm and people had to live in such conditions. Since then, not only the conditions and norms of life have changed, but also the values. If then in the first place decency, honesty, loyalty, etc. were valued, now you can see how the attitude towards these values is distorted. Norms and values have been confused in the heads of so many. From the story of one lady: - “He almost did not forbid me anything, I went to clubs alone, without him, I flew to rest. I got tired of being alone all the time, and I decided to cheat on him.”At the same time, the man worked, in his business, sixteen hours a day. Such a plan of action is performed by both men, and those and others (women) have allowed themselves the moral right not to betray, while a very well-chosen justification, which supposedly comes from needs.

The fashion for getting emotions quickly plays an important role in this. First of all, you need to think about yourself, and not about your partner, first to satisfy your desires and needs. How often can you hear such a phrase - "Relationships have been eaten by everyday life." It seems to me like this, you go out in the morning to the kitchen, where the sink is full of unwashed dishes and a leaking tap, and there is a brown-gray monster LIFE and munching on the relationship of two people. The picture is, of course, surreal, but nevertheless, many seriously think so that it is not their disgusting attitude towards a partner, inattention and assaults, but such a LIFE is guilty that the relationship has ended.

Another point that is very common. The man loves to drink and at the same time avoids being in the family, women in such cases say he drinks the family. If a person is sick, he needs to be treated, but if a value has been created in the family that is important for a man, and he values it, this may well become an object dialogue that he needs to choose between the way of life that he leads and this value. An adult, emotionally, will think about it.

Of course, there is still such a thing as a mistake when choosing a partner. For example, a man with a very badly damaged self-esteem finds women who are comfortable with him at that time. And he thinks that it is better for him not to find, and who needs him at all. Over time, his self-esteem normalizes, and not always at the expense of the chosen woman, and he understands that the relationship weighs on him. Therefore, it is extremely undesirable to start building relationships in a state of emotional instability. It is necessary to understand that the relationship should always be held accountable. Sometimes people are sorely lacking in knowledge about how to behave and how not to behave in a relationship. More often than not, people rely on someone else's experience, which may not be successful, or, even worse, on popular information from the most accessible sources, which can harm rather than help.

Each of us has a kind of pain limit inside, and if family relationships cause more pain than we can tolerate, then a breakup is inevitable. In this case, no girlfriends, no friends, no psychologists, no one, the person has already made a final decision. But there is always the opportunity to start creating new relationships with the old partner, but exactly new … For those who are in a crisis, I can recommend the following technique. Start noticing only the good in your partner, exactly what you liked so much at the beginning of the relationship, and try to ignore the negative. Look at him and try to see the person with whom you had a great relationship in the beginning.

Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.