2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There are two extremes about your mistakes.
1. Denial. "It was not me who was mistaken, but this is due to the fact that …" You can substitute absolutely anything you want. The generalization "because of you" is, of course, the most common. Also suitable for weather, traffic jams, authorities. This approach can be noticed in oneself, if self-esteem is knocked down, its level is low, but we really want to raise it artificially in the eyes of others. In this case, we are not so sure of ourselves that we cannot afford to hurt ourselves by admitting our mistake. This completely removes the ground from under your feet. Yes, and condemnation from the environment … No, no! A wise, protective, subconscious mind makes a decision: "It's not me."
2. Full immersion and dramatization (self-flagellation).
"I was wrong. It's all. It's horrible." In this case, we are completely immersed in the feeling of guilt, in the digestion of error, in the exaltation of it. The approach is insidious in that it gives only negative emotions and bad health.
But what is more psychologically correct?
1. The mistake must be admitted. Because thanks to this, you will be able to manage similar situations, now and in the future.
2. 90% of mistakes are repeated because they arise from habits and the way of thinking. To prevent this, you need to understand: what habit and what mental attitudes led to the error, work through them and instill in yourself the ones you need.
For example, you are late. There is both habit and attitudes. You need persistent desire and action to replace this habit with “come on time”, and therefore the way of life will change. This work will allow you to no longer make mistakes related to lateness and timing.
3. It is necessary to understand: "the main mistake is to grieve over mistakes", to get stuck in them. It would be more correct: “There was a mistake. I can fix this. To prevent it from happening in the future, I want to learn how to do this. And to act.
For example, in the case of being late.
I was late because I overslept. I want to learn to get up on time so that I can come on time. For this I need willpower, a ringing alarm clock, an accurate setting: "I get up on time. I come on time." and repeating this action every morning. Note: it will not be right to think: "I must not be late." More precisely: "I need to learn to come on time" - because "not to be late" - the wording is vague, multivariate, and "come on time" - clear, therefore it is better attainable.
A similar habit is formed for 21 days, the same amount is fixed. Then this is your usual approach to awakening.
The same is in other areas.
Practice: what would you recommend yourself to learn, be able to from the most recent mistake?
Painting by Alexei Chernigin "Milk".
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