2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Psychosomatics as belonging to the family system
Long before the advent of family systemic constellations in our country, Karl Whittaker, an American family psychotherapist, wrote: "I do not believe in a person, I believe in families."
And this is so: the family is of great importance in the formation of a symptom, if we talk about psychosomatics and, in particular, about diseases that are pumped from generation to generation.
Why is this happening?
Let us recall the "Pyramid of Needs" by A. Maslow, who describes the fundamental needs of physiological processes (eat, drink, sleep, continue the race), as well as the need for protection and belonging. And somewhere at the top of this pyramid there will be a need for respect and self-actualization.
Let us conclude that being accepted and protected is more essential for survival than respected and realized in the profession and in life.
There is nothing wrong with that - it is the mechanism of life.
In other words, a person in any way on a conscious, and often unconscious level, will strive to maintain belonging to the family. Through illness, addiction or the repetition of the fate of one of the relatives, including.
By the way, any strong feelings that "cover your head" also may not belong to a particular person, but may be the feelings of someone from the senior members of the system.
In family systemic constellations, this phenomenon is called "entwinement."
The fear of loneliness and isolation is one of the most powerful experiences that can be.
What to do in such a situation?
Oddly enough, but to see a different path of movement: after all, belonging to the system can be expressed not only by illness and repetition of injuries, but also … by love.
And this love can be expressed in many different ways. You can easily come up with your own little ritual of expressing feelings of gratitude and love for your family: be it prayer, meditation and gratitude, going to church, etc.
The constellations offer the following option for independent work.
A little exercise:
1. If you have a chronic symptom that your loved ones had, an addiction or a negative emotional state, then close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths and exhale, and say phrases, listening to yourself, on which of them there will be a response / resonance: "This is mine." and "It's not mine."
What's more true?
2. If the phrase: "This is not mine" evokes a greater response, see or imagine the person (group of people) with whom your symptom is associated.
3. Next, say the following phrases while continuing to represent this person.
(for example, you saw mom):
- You are my mother, and I am your daughter.
- You are older, and I am younger.
- I see your destiny and in my heart there is a place for you. We belong to the same family.
-We are close and dear to each other people, but you have your own destiny, and I have my own.
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