ANTI-PERFECTIONISM

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Not everyone gets the first place in life. There are those who always take the last place. And yet they are not the most unhappy. These are the ones on the second. They are always waiting for the first place from them, and they are again on the second

And, if everyone gave up on the loser for a long time and left him alone, then this second one lives under constant pressure and the burden of the expectations of others: come on, come on, strain, you can! … and so on. The second lives in an atmosphere of systematic reproaches, shameless pressure, although he, the second, has achieved much more than many.

And I'm not exaggerating! Itself was some time in this strap. From the age of three she was engaged in artistic gymnastics, passed to the master of sports, and before important competitions she was seriously injured and the sport was over forever. I remember the eyes of my older brother when the doctors delivered their verdict, and then his words: "… if I had such a talent as you, I would not give up." But I chose life for myself, life without crutches.

She studied well at school, graduated with three grades, when my mother found out about it, she cried all evening: I did not live up to her hopes. Yes, I didn’t strain, I made just so much effort so as not to be the worst, but I didn’t get tired and disgusted with learning. And all these years I survived under the pressure of relatives and teachers who wanted fives from me.

Then, I still received one diploma with honors - for my mother. I can't say that it was given to me with blood and sweat, but I had to strain. When I was at our university, there was a story about how a student was buried for five years for a red diploma, and during graduation she ate it (diploma). Myth, of course, but "there is no smoke without fire." True, I could not work in that specialty: a banal allergy prevented me and I had to urgently change my profession.

At the second university, I added one more feature: my fellow students, excellent students, always saw me as a competitor, a contender for their first place. Although, frankly, I did not aspire to go there, my A's in some subjects were the result of my first education to a greater extent than my perseverance. Quiet C grade students also constantly compared their grades with mine, at a time when their grades were not interesting to me, to put it mildly … in those subjects that I do not like: thanks to sane teachers for this indulgence.

Thanks to my free attitude to the learning process and the criteria for evaluating my knowledge by teachers, I again managed to maintain an interest in learning, not turn it into hard labor, and I still study with pleasure: there is no way a psychologist can do without it

When, already getting a second higher education, I refused to go to the red diploma, our curator did not understand me and asked: "Why? You can do it! At least try!" Then I didn’t know how best to answer. I just vaguely understood that for me, again the second, in the first place is the joy of learning, and not an assessment in the classroom. I know that I have the knowledge necessary for successful work, and they are for me - the best reward I don't need more!