2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Link to Part 1 in comment
PART 2. WHY DO THEY DO IT?
In fact, everything is very simple. Guests do it simply because they can. Most people, in principle, are quite egocentric and tend to think only about their own comfort and benefits, and modern technologies depersonalize people on the network, especially if there was no personal contact, so many people think that by clicking on the "ignore" button, they exclude from life a living person with his own history, experience and feelings, but just an account with an avatar, and then even the conscience does not torment. In general, ghosting is not a new phenomenon. There are many stories of missing people who, over the years, were found in other cities and even countries. Still, such disappearances as a way to end a relationship were not common. People lived in small groups, the social circle was limited, it was very difficult to ignore each other in such conditions. Whether it is now - it is enough to block a person in the messenger, and that's it - he is not in your life. It is difficult to meet by chance in a metropolis. Dating is increasingly happening online, future partners do not have a common environment. Accordingly, it has become easier today to disappear without explanation.
It is generally very difficult for people to see another person behind their fantasies and projections about him, and if you constantly live on the Internet, then the value of living human relationships and sincere communication, intimacy, may seem incomprehensible, unnecessary and excessive. And if a person is generally inclined to hide and avoid contact in any incomprehensible situation, then social networks and dating applications greatly contribute to this.
It is important to keep in mind that this “disappearance” is extremely passive-aggressive behavior. Immature, cowardly, infantile people do this. They may lack empathy or simply have a great unwillingness to experience the slightest discomfort from the reaction to their behavior, while they do not think at all about how other people feel, their own comfort is much more important. Such people are not ready to take responsibility for their actions and face the consequences. Often they are also people who are extremely unconscious, absolutely not understanding and not recognizing their feelings and desires. Life just happens to them, they go with the flow and are in a constant state of inner turmoil and chaos.
The most important thing to understand is that people who act in this way are definitely not ready for a healthy relationship, they do not know how to express dissatisfaction in time and often even realize it, they do not know how to negotiate, they do not care about the feelings of a partner and do not even try to complete relationships in a more or less environmentally friendly way. This is their emotional immaturity and fear of intimacy. Best case scenario. At worst, it is sociopathy and enjoying the power and suffering of another person, a planned action. That is, in any case, such a person does not suit you and is not worthy of you. Though now it may seem completely different to you.
And in this situation you are only to blame for being sincere, open, striving for closeness and risking trusting another. And this is your value. Nowadays, few people can boast of such qualities, much more disappointed, cynical and suspicious of everything and everyone.
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