2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The critic of Zlyuk, or, as I call him inner Zhirinovsky, is unhappy all the time. Usually it is more noticeable in relation to others - everyone just pisses off, annoys - this aunt in white boots or Vasya is talking nonsense again or Rosamund, what kind of name is Rosamund? What do they all think? And I myself am so pissed off, and the day is dull, and the wind is blowing in the wrong direction, and the snow is not like that at all, and it pisses me off!
The little imp, the angry critic, makes it difficult to start anything, because he puts on the glasses "Everything is bad" on the owner, which significantly distorts reality and the ability to see one's own desires and interest, which is important both in creativity and in the ability to enjoy life, yourself and other people.
What kind of fruit is this? There are several considerations.
1st - Anger as a defense against self-dissatisfaction. That is, behind this critic may be hiding the previous ones - fear and shame.
2nd - Anger usually signals the violation of their own boundaries, the dissatisfaction of their needs. And then we have 2 options - to see what is missing or to check the boundaries for realism.
A. What is missing?
- First, check the simplest (but most underestimated) needs - hunger, loneliness, fatigue. Yes Yes! Eat already, sleep and sip with your non-psychoactive drink's best friend. It's fun to be a robot, but only in science fiction. In the meantime, we are fragile and vulnerable. And it's a fact that we need refueling. Moreover, it is regular. Check the angry person - calmed down? Now you can get down to business.
- If the angry person doesn't care about your cakes, check what unfulfilled desires lie behind the anger. Sometimes you will be surprised to find such an unpleasant, but quite natural thing as envy. For example:
The spiteful thing is Agaaaa, but Petrovna is just awful!
The disassembler is angry - Why is it in Petrovna that enrages you?
Angry - She's all so manicure and lips with a bow and boots are white, and zero brains, but people are drawn to her.
Disassembler angry - And what would you like to be attracted to you or manicure / boots or smaller brains, what?
Sickness - I'm smart and want to be drawn to me even without a manicure.
Bottom line - there is a need for communication / recognition / implementation. And it is precisely the Sickness that helps this need to see, even through envy. And when you saw - focus not on Petrovna, but on how and through what this need is realized. For example, respond to a request for help that was previously ignored. Or finally go to a party, bring a pie to work, take a chance once and say your opinion, brag a little. Well, if you communicate with people, it is scary or embarrassing to be presented for recognition, read about previous critics.
- A spiteful person can become active and rush to the whole world, if in a specific situation you did not allow yourself to express anger at the address. For example, you bought white boots, like Petrovna's, or simply. And the boots are defective, but you did not dare to go to the store, but simply swallowed the annoyance and anger, and now she seethes and grumbles at everything that moves, especially in white boots. Conclusion - it is important to identify anger early and express it to the address so that it does not poison your beautiful inner world. Well, how to express it so as not to ruin a fragile relationship - there are a lot of trainings about this).
B. Unrealisticness of one's own boundaries, expectations. I will not dwell on this much, since this is a good reason for going to a psychotherapist. I will give just an example. The spiteful girl is mischievous about young girls / astronauts / rich Buratin from birth. Well, in general, if you follow the previous point, there are needs that cannot be satisfied, at least in full. And how to accept such a reality, to see yourself as a middle-aged / accountant / earning money on your own with deep respect and pleasure is a rather long process. But it's worth it!
A small result on the Sickle: taking care of yourself, identifying unfulfilled needs and at least one step towards their implementation, timely and targeted expression of anger will increase the likelihood of preserving your inner world from a caustic and harmful imp.
Inspiration and attention to yourself! Hello wicked!
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