2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A map of the world (reality) of a person with high self-esteem and an insecure personality
World map of a person with high self-esteem
Accepting himself, respecting his intrinsic value, a person learns to hear and take into account his own desires, inclinations, interests. Accordingly, the first position of this card will be the next indicator.
A high level of contact with oneself. And, as a result, possible internal agreement and balance
Let's talk further … A person who has respect and acceptance of his personality always has his own supports, which help him to carry out his life, regardless of the degree of acceptance (or rejection) of others. Accordingly, we single out the next significant indicator of the map of this reality.
A good level of differentiation, separateness in this world. This means independence, self-sufficiency
Differentiation level (in the theory of family systems) –the ability to be a separate person, being connected with others; the ability not to mix one's own emotions, thoughts and feelings.
A person with high self-esteem is able to defend his sacred right to his own life, and not prescribed by someone, alien to him: to defend his values, to do what he loves, to carry out cherished and not someone else's tasks. And based on this, live your own, truly interesting, positively saturated, full life. Based on what has been said, we highlight the next item on our map.
A high level of implementation of important personal programs, implementations, tasks
In such a model of the world, a person is happy: he proceeds from his own - from himself, passes his own (and not someone else's) paths and reaches his own cherished boundaries.
World map of a person with low self-esteem
A person with low self-esteem does not accept himself, he is shy, and therefore does not listen and does not hear, and as a result, does not know and does not take into account. We select the first point of our map.
Low level of contact and, as a result, consistency with oneself
What else can we note in this connection? Of course, the presence of a huge number of addictions of various kinds by which such a person compensates (makes up for) the lack of acceptance, happiness - not directly, but indirectly (and often extremely destructive, deceitful). We note the following value of our map.
A high level of emotional dependence on people who confirm or do not confirm your self-worth. And also the presence of other possible addictions, which they go into in order to fill the heart's void or drown out the mental pain
Let's analyze further … Emotional addiction, like any other addiction, does not bring a person the desired happiness, moreover, in almost all cases, dooms him to suffering and torment. And, accordingly, - a persistent feeling of deep dissatisfaction in life. We select the next item on our map.
Lack of implementation of personal programs (due to internal prohibitions and lack of permissions of this kind)
In this model, a person does not really live, but serves his duty, suffers and suffers.
The purpose of this publication is to help people with low self-esteem to reconsider and improve their quality of life. But in order to achieve sufficient results, two essential conditions must be present.
- First: the person taking personal responsibility for achieving the desired results. It is important to understand the following: no one will change anything in your life without your participation. Neither a wizard, nor fate, nor a psychologist. The tasks of each person are only his tasks and to solve them for himself. The therapist will suggest the best way to achieve your goals, together with you, outline a plan for the implementation of the desired results, with your permission, will accompany you on this difficult, psychological road. But the main route to the cherished borders is up to you. Without personal involvement and serious effort, goals are not achieved.
- And the second: having developed (independently or together with a psychologist) a program for achieving the desired goal, it is necessary to systematically and consistently implement steps to achieve this goal. That is, to act - to move towards your dream.
So my practice on working with self-esteem. For your benefit and good, dear friends!
The author's method of working with self-esteem "The Way to the Emerald City"
This technique can be performed (depicted) on a poster, that is, on a special "Board of visualizations".
Visualization board
1. First: at the top, right side of our poster, we mark our own, personal THE EMERALD CITY OF A DREAM FULFILLED … This is the space where a fulfilled dream lives. We symbolically mark or prescribe what this living space looks like. What are we like there? What are you doing? What are we doing? What do they look like? Who do we interact with? And so on … You can describe and mark in sufficient detail everything that concerns your future work, creativity and other life realizations of the desired space.
2. Second: we mark the point of the real "I" (somewhere below, on the left).
3. Third: we portray our YELLOW BRICK ROAD from today to the desired point. That is, we conditionally connect our present with the future we are achieving.
4. Fourth. We symbolically place our figurine on this poster and, as it were, bless - we send it on the road. Our figurine should be movable (attached, not drawn on the poster) and be able to move - to achieve your goal.
5. And fifth, we identify and disclose our helping resources.
Our thematic resources will be similar to those of a fairy tale, that is, they will embody the magical reserves of the characters of a famous fairy tale.
Intellectual and analytical resource - "Scarecrow"
By analogy with the fairytale character who made an attempt to reach the wizard of the emerald city in order to gain intelligence, but in fact embodying extreme ingenuity, lively sharpness and a sharp mind, our analytical resource will reveal to us all the essential answers to questions on achieving the goal. Such as…
- What do we value in ourselves now, for which we could respect and be proud of ourselves? This information is our mainstay. It is worth starting from this material and making a start.
- Where do we see ourselves as the most promising? What realizations did we get the best of all others possible? The answer to this question will give us a hint about our favorable future implementation, which would be worth putting. In them we will be as successful as possible.
- What gives us real pleasure, joy? We examine ourselves for the question posed. We give answers. We take it into service and put it to execution. We implement the found solutions regularly, systematically.
A spiritual resource, a resource of kindness and love - "Tin Woodman"
Dear reader, of course, you remember how the infinitely kind and amazingly beautiful personality of the Tin Woodman nevertheless doubted the existence of a living principle in himself? The woodcutter essentially personifies Love - for the world, friends, beloved. But I'm not sure, doubts his ability to love and be accepted and loved … In our practice, by analogy with the famous hero, we will lay this realization as infinitely important and significant. I think it's no secret that Love is the key that opens absolutely any door. Including the one we are now moving towards, which we are reaching. I put on comprehension the primary inclusion of the aforementioned resource in the work program of the described practice. But I will provide the disclosure of this most serious point in the next note - separately.
A spiritual resource, a resource of faith - "Cowardly Lion"
Dear reader, I invite you to remember that the fabulous Leo was not really cowardly at all, he essentially lacked faith in himself, his worth, and courage. But in difficult fairytale moments, this character gathered and showed unprecedented valor and courage. We will go from the opposite and initially assume that (by analogy with a fairy-tale character) are a priori wealthy and capable. Let's say to ourselves this: “We can! We can do it! We are resourceful and good! May our faith be fulfilled!”- and we will confidently move towards the realization of our goal. Having embedded in our program a sacred faith in ourselves, as a part of a high, heavenly plan, we not only allow this sacred plan, but also set its fulfillment - do not even hesitate! In the next article, I will detail this (and all designated) resources. Now I will just mark it for you.
So, friends, I have brought my practice to your attention. I will reveal it gradually, in the following notes. For those interested in working with self-assessment according to the methodology I presented, at the current stage, you can prepare "Whiteboard visualization" on working with self-esteem - poster "Path to the Emerald City" … Having painted the desired fulfillment of a fulfilled goal within its unique Emerald cityby calculating a personal yellow brick road and placing on the poster replacement figures - his own and the heroes-assistants.
At this working stage of the practice, I will briefly interrupt my communication with you in order to continue our fascinating journey to my desired and happy future after a while.
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