Author's Technique For Working With Parental Separation

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Friends, I want to share with you my technique based on a frequent client request for working with parental separation.

Two words ahead of …

For a certain period of each person's life, a close interpersonal bond between him and his parent is justified and very important. But as he grows up, a person naturally acquires more and more autonomy. And gradual, delicate separation becomes a necessary and significant element in the formation of an independent, mature personality. We know, for example, that people with incomplete separation are not well-off not only in socially useful life, but also in personal, family life … to function in the positions of "mother's daughter or son" is not only ridiculous, wrong, but also destructive, destructive.

Now my exercise … To the work of internal analysis and separation from the father or mother (depending on with whom this adhesion is excessively strengthened).

I

Think over and write down your answers to the remark: I AM NOT MY DAD (OR MOTHER); I - THIS ME. In what you do not repeat him (her), in what you are special, different?

For example…

- "I am not my mother: my mother is in a state of discontent, she allows herself to raise her voice to a loved one, in such cases I retire and restrain myself."

- "I am not my dad: dad is trying to control everyone, I allow others to live their own lives."

These are some conditional remarks for an example … We write out as many as we get (on an individual basis).

Also prepare a second list: how are you like dad (or mom), what are you like?

For example…

- "I, like my mother, are demanding of myself and those close to me."

- "Like my dad, I am a very responsible person."

And so on … By analogy with the first list.

Analyze the lists. Put "+" and "-" in front of each statement, based on whether you like these comparisons or not. Reflect on what you did? In what ways do you really repeat mom and dad, in what - no? What would you like to leave in your own character line, and what would you correct?

This is only the first part of the assignment, then the second will follow …

II

But I will preface the next stage of the exercise with some explanations of the first (initial) part.

During the period of work on the first part of the assignment and further analysis of this part of the work together with a psychologist, the client deeply and clearly comprehends and accepts the following important provisions:

- he, being a child of his parents, nevertheless, is a separate person from them, with his own character, inclinations, inclinations, demeanor, interests, and so on;

- being in close interaction with parents, he receives from them and manifests through himself certain script roles and qualities (both positive and negative).

- he can clearly designate for himself and carry out in his future life only constructive parental programs, abandoning unwanted (imposed by someone else's will) …

Now for the next important part of the assignment.

1. According to the lists prepared in advance, the client formulates for himself undesirable properties and qualities acquired in close interaction with parents and virtually (in the imaginary sphere) throws out, pours out or draws images of these qualities on a blank sheet of paper. Further, he obscures the drawings, crumples (or ritually burns) them and throws them into the trash can.

2. According to the lists prepared in advance, the client figuratively forms the most desirable subpersonality with the set of qualities and properties that will be useful to him and make his life optimally successful, kind and beneficial for him.

3. Having formed this image (say, on a chair next to him), the client stretches out his hands to her and invites to enter into himself (after all, he is the True Abode of this subpersonality, which he just created from himself in the desired image and likeness).

III

Further (as a conclusion), you can use the wonderful technique used in the NLP strategy, aimed at self-activity and increasing self-esteem. I will present it in my own interpretation and description.

Before carrying out the technique, the psychologist tells the client the thesis about the uniqueness of each individual person, his inimitable exclusivity, invaluable value and that each individual person (being, in a certain sense, God's Sparkle on earth) is worthy of the highest RECEPTION, GRATITUDE, ADMISSION; with which we now deservedly fill ourselves to the very brim, to the fullest.

Then one should virtually put the inner image of oneself opposite on a chair. And, remembering and clearly focusing alternately in oneself-real, first the state of ACCEPTANCE, then - GRATITUDE, and then - ADMISSION, send these energies into the virtual self, filling with these states your psychological image to the very edges …

We end up by merging two images into one: the present of ourselves and a virtual image on the chair filled with high positive energies.

Thus, we complete the general large task of comprehending, separating and finally accepting the image of a pure, desired, free "I" from long-lived, outgrown ourselves (not ours, but others') inclusions …