EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT SEXUAL CORRECTION IN A PAIR. 13 TIPS TO BECOME THE BEST LOVER

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If you suffer from the sexual passivity of your partner, this means that none of you know the law of a direct connection between sex life and the level of emotionality of love relationships. And it sounds like this:

The high level of positive emotions, characteristic of the period of the beginning of your sexual relationship, is able to brighten up this or that sexual imperfection of partners for a long time. However, over time, this level drops and, like a fallen fig leaf, reveals a real picture of your sex life …

One of the features of sexual love conflicts is that the less temperamental partner almost always does not see problems in his behavior and believes that the "situation with sex" is no better and no worse than it was some time ago, at the very beginning of sexual relationship.

Formally, your partner is right: indeed, outwardly nothing has changed and has not become worse. The problem is that this situation is no longer suitable for you. From some point on, she ceased to suit you. One of the variants of the conflict of unrealized expectations arose: you are tired of denying yourself the satisfaction of your sexual needs. You want more often and more varied … And the more often and more varied - the better!

What your love crisis has exactly sexual background, it is easy to identify the following signs.

Signs of a crisis based on sexual conflict:

• - Your partner flatly refuses to do what brings you sexual satisfaction, or very rarely agrees to it. In the latter case, all this can be accompanied by such bilious comments and grievances, after which any desire to have sex disappears for almost a month.
• - You have to push and openly coerce your partner into non-standard sex. This is especially true for any kind of sex outside your apartment: in the car, outdoors, in a motel, fishing (etc.). Your loved one begins to be afraid and embarrassed even of what you already did at the very beginning of the relationship.
• - Most of your sexual contacts happen at the same time, and only when your partner wants. Your wishes either “fly past our ears”, or you hear a stereotypical answer in response: “Can't you see how tired I am today and not in the mood…”.
• - Your loved one is an outspoken "bed idler". His (her) motto is: “It's enough that I allow sex with me. Everything else is your problem. " His (her) participation in sex is minimal.
• - The appearance and behavior of your partner begins to seem to you less and less sexually attractive … He (a) has clearly lost (a) "presentation" …

This list describes the feelings that arise with this type of conflict on the part of a sexually active partner. They will be understandable to you in the event that you are a sexually active partner.

If you are a "sexy lazy person" and "a stranger from a deep sexual past" - know: these are the claims that usually sound from the lips of your more active loved one … So, be honest with yourself and take a good look at this. Suddenly, all this applies to you too?

The peak of sexual relations between lovers does not always coincide with the Peak of Relationships. If one of the partners is clearly sexually passive, the more active partner manages to be sexually disappointed in him even before the onset of complete spiritual intimacy and the emergence of stable attachment. The need for sexual correction usually arises when partners have passed the peak of their sexual relations much earlier than they have approached the Peak of Relationships in general.

Some statistics:

It is especially sad that this situation is widespread. According to my surveys, about 70% of men and about 50% of women who had previously had sexual experience with other partners consider their sexual relations with a loved one (with whom a relationship is maintained “for the future”) as boring and monotonous. Among those who at the time of the beginning of their relationship had minimal or no sexual experience, the situation is somewhat better. However, even here sex with a loved one is considered to have not met the expectations placed on him by about 50% of men and 40% of women.

About half of the men and women surveyed consider their sexual relations, existing in the framework of a long-term love relationship, insufficient to obtain complete sexual satisfaction.

Analyzing this data, one can come to the following conclusions:

Lovers are mistaken in thinking that:

• - love can "overshadow", push into the background problems in sexual life;
• - love is the best way to achieve sexual harmony between partners;
• - the sexual aspirations of a partner can be reduced by compensating for this with warm home comfort, tenderness and care;
• - the sexual idyll of the beginning of a relationship can last forever.

Think about it. Perhaps you think so too …

Now the conclusions.

Conclusions:

Let me remind you: wanting love to provide an ideal sexual relationship between lovers (or husband and wife), we demand from love that which is not inherent in her initially, that which she is unable to do, something for which she is absolutely not intended. Love only helps to start and organize the process of the sexual life of lovers. At the same time, it so suppresses our will and mind, so strongly distorts our usual criteria and approaches to our own and other people's sexuality, that we can safely say:

Love is one of the biggest obstacles to sexual satisfaction these days.

Need in sexual correction is one of the options for the conflict of unrealized expectations … Despite the seeming simplicity of this situation (it would seem, take the "self-instruction manual on sex" and orgasm is guaranteed!), It often becomes that serious problem that first "cools" many love relationships, and then leads to their destruction. with your loved one, try to understand first: what caused these or those sexual slippage? Maybe your partner has already managed to make a decision about your “hopelessness” and does not want to make concessions to that person, parting with whom has already become only a matter of time …

Unless there is some deeper and more fundamental conflict of unjustified expectations hidden under your sexual disagreements, the situation is always fixable. As long as people sincerely wish to be together, they will always find the strength to come to a mutually acceptable "sexual compromise."

When carrying out sexual correction, everything depends not so much on the strength or extinction of love feelings, but rather on the degree of rationality of the partners and their willingness to overstep a number of their own principles and moral attitudes in order to preserve these relationships, abandon ridiculous illusions and use all those methods of “sexual diversity , Which were invented by a very erotic humanity …

Practical recommendations:

First. Rely primarily on reason for sex. If you feel that you clearly lack sex, then the love program has already turned off. Not long ago, she handed over the authority to manage your relationships to your hive mind. From now on, the helm is in your hands. So, from the moment you first become aware of your own sexual discontent, you only need to blame yourself (yourself). It is you, being blinded by love, once chose for yourself such a partner, whose sexual needs (oh) turned out to be lower than yours.

Second. When starting a sexual correction, choose the right time. The correct timing of the start and implementation of sexual correction significantly increases the chances of success for the entire event. There is no optimal time to start the correction. The common opinion that spring and summer are the most favorable for sex is not supported by practice. Therefore, just wait until the moment when you will be together more, you will not need to rush somewhere and you will have a good mood. However, here's a little tip.

Signs of the ideal moment for "sexual correction":

• - Engage in sexual correction only when the life circumstances of both partners are more or less stable. If someone alone has all the thoughts about the session, the upcoming layoff at work, the eternal lack of money, etc., it is unlikely that he (she) will be interested in thinking about sex as well.
• - Since the achieved success must be immediately consolidated (first turned into a sexual habit, and then into a need), it is advisable to do this only when your meetings are most frequent and regular.
• - Sexual corrections should be carried out at a time when partners are in good physical shape, do not suffer from illness and injury.

As soon as such a moment comes - act!

Third. Start your sexual correction with a frank conversation. The fight for sexual harmony should begin with a frank conversation with a partner. Tell him (her) that you have become another victim of the same “sad pattern of love sex,” which reads as follows: Initially striving for a relatively high level of technical diversity, love-family sexual relations, after passing a certain peak, then necessarily turn into monotonous and episodic. They rise up with great difficulty, but very easily and quickly return to their original primitive level.

Tell your partner about this. Suggest the easiest way to break the deadlock: Absolutely every meeting of yours should be accompanied (begin or end) with sex. You should have sex wherever you can, and occasionally where you can't.

If you manage to follow this "golden rule of sex" for at least two to three months, your sex life is guaranteed to go back to normal!

Fourth. Be clear about your sexual desires. During the faked conversation, be clear about what you want to get from your partner. No vague formulations like: "You know, I want something more lively and diverse …". Call a spade a spade. Your partner should clearly know what you want. The list of mutual sexual grievances is usually standard.

List of mutual sexual claims:

- someone prefers to have sex without a preliminary warm-up;

- someone falls asleep after one time, and another wants more and more;

- someone cannot bring a partner to orgasm;

- one of the partners has chosen two or three positions for himself and does not want to experiment any more;

- one of the partners is frankly lazy and lies in bed with almost no movement;

- Someone refuses to have sex in unusual or extreme conditions. For one partner, desire is important, and for the other, the presence of a soul;

- someone refuses oral sex or refuses to make it more varied;

- someone refuses anal sex;

- someone refuses mutual masturbation;

- someone has neglected their appearance, they are flabby, put on weight, become unkempt (oh), do not take care of the cleanliness of their body and clothes;

- someone does not want to spend money on sexy clothes and accessories;

- Disputes constantly arise about the time of having sex. One partner insists on nighttime, the other on daytime. This also includes arguments about how to have sex: by light, in pitch darkness, or by candlelight;

- women refuse to have sex during menstruation.

These are the most basic problems. There is rarely one problem: usually there is a whole "bouquet" of them. However, no matter how many there are, name them all. Do not forget to listen to the counterclaims and suggestions of the partner. When demanding something from a loved one, be ready to give in yourself. Remember:You can only demand that your partner demonstrate the abilities of a “sexual acrobat” if you yourself are a “sexual acrobat”.

Fifth. Improving the sexual situation should only be done together. Forget that you can harmonize your sexual relationship alone, "teaching by example, gradually nudging and unobtrusively teaching your partner." Alas, this is not the case! The specificity of modern sex is such that only two people can improve the situation. If you don’t believe it, fight this question alone, waste years, and then you will come to understand the truth of this observation in life … The conclusion is simple: if you cannot get a fundamental consent from your partner for sexual correction, you will not succeed. Unfortunately, you will either have to moderate your own requests, or start changing, or make a decision about the need to leave …

Sixth. Combine your sexy schedules. Real sex life consists of alternating periods of activity and passivity. Life practice shows the following: it is possible to demand something "hot" from an engineer, teacher, official, worker or officer (and other categories of people who are traditionally very tired of their work) only if they have been sexually "cold" for a very long time before. that is, they abstained from sex for a long time.

This is done in the following way: first you need to understand your own sexual rhythm. Do not underestimate or overestimate it. Let it be just the way it really is. Knowing exactly how long it will take you to “want sex”, start a frank conversation with your loved one. Give him a similar challenge. After figuring out when his sexual needs awaken, reconcile your schedules.

Seventh. Watch your appearance and shape. You are not required to be a Barbie doll or a Schwarzenegger, but you should remember that slim and athletic people will be considered sexy in the coming decades.

Eighth. Don't skimp on sex! Invest in sex money In general, if you want to look no worse than the sex symbols of Hollywood, and you do not have much money, do a very simple thing: stop wasting money on things that do not benefit you. Each of us must have bad habits and very costly hobbies. So part with them. Better use the money you spend on cigarettes, booze, slot machines (etc.) to enhance your sex appeal.

Don't skimp on sex! Invest in it and after a couple of months you will feel a change in attitude towards you on the part of your loved one. It is possible that appreciating your stunning appearance and fearing a possible loss, he (s) will less and less demand from you what you do not like …

Ninth. Become less serious. A feature of love and family relationships is that they are long-term. Over the years of your acquaintance, you graduate from schools and universities, make a successful career, earn decent money, become a more or less significant figure in your city or area. Either way, you get more serious …

More and more often dressing in office-business style clothes, adopting the traits of "success" behavior, on the one hand, we become unapproachable ourselves, and on the other hand, we begin to be almost afraid of our loved one.

Let's be honest: Adult life is inherently low-sex, if not completely antisexual. Even when experiencing a strong sexual attraction, looking at our beloved person “aged”, we often think: “I can't imagine how he (her) and I once managed to have sex in the car, right in the airport parking lot or on a crowded beach … Incredibly, we managed to have sex while standing by the window, at the same time watching to see if our parents had arrived … . If this is the case, there is only one way out: become less serious at least towards each other! When meeting with your loved one, throw off the image of responsible workers, cool businessmen and business women! Fool around more! Believe the worldly wisdom: cheerful, cheerful and even a little silly-eccentric people are perceived as much more sexy than important and serious.

Laugh often. Just cuddle around on sofas or carpet on the floor. Sit on each other's lap while watching movies. Climb into each other's bathroom. Bother each other in the elevator, car, or away. Pet each other in different pleasant places, sitting in cinemas or cafes. Come up with new nicknames. Write funny and awkward text messages. Sometimes have sex with your clothes on. Buy condoms together. Go out into nature. Go to the pool together. Liven up your sex!

Tenth. Announce a sex marathon! If you have been friends for at least a year, it means that you must have accumulated a certain number of extreme sexual situations. By agreement with your partner, repeat them all! Organize a Tour of Your Sexual Fame. Banquets in cafes, saunas and summer cottages, picnic areas and rented apartments, once rented rooms in hotels and motels, favorite places for sex in a car "in nature" - all this should become a place for new hot sexual battles.

Eleventh. Never do "sexual favors"! The most unpleasant category of lovers is those who agree to certain experiments literally through their teeth, entangle their partner with many reservations, and make all sorts of annoying statements. For example: “I am doing this for the last time and only because I love you very much. Please do not forget about it for a minute … ". Anyone who expects this behavior to arouse a feeling of sincere gratitude in a partner is sincerely mistaken. A favor is almost always annoying! For most people, "sexual favors" generate poorly controlled rage. What a correction here … Therefore, no "sexual favors"! Do not try to show even a semblance of disgust, arrogance and contempt for the allegedly "base" sexual addictions of a loved one! If you love your partner, are confident in his mental abilities and adequacy, learn to respect his sexual needs and meet them halfway! Experiment, try and get used to it. If it's hard to agree to everything at once, you can agree on a kind of "transition period", the motto of which will be: "both yours and ours." Reasonable people can always agree. Loving intelligent people - even more so.

Twelfth. If sex starts – Do not be distructed! Once you start sexual correction, for a while, make sex one of the most important activities in your life. During sex, only have sex and nothing else.! Do not discuss various problem situations, do not accept your budget, do not analyze the behavior of mutual acquaintances. Any petty quarrel can ruin your mood and completely discourage the continuation of love pleasures and experiments. In addition, your inappropriate chatter can lead your partner to think that he or she is not able to do you well enough to distract you from other thoughts. This is usually not happy …

Thirteenth. Sleep together only naked! There are a lot of things that we usually do not think about, but which play a role in our sex life. Most lovers have beautiful underwear. However, when you sleep together, this is not a reason to go to sleep in it. Even the most erotic nightgown, bodysuit or swimming trunks can annoy your loved one and kill his (her) desire (and your own) to have sex, accidentally waking up at night or early in the morning.

Sleep together always naked! After all, this is always a reason to snuggle up to each other and warm up by having sex …

Remark:

If you do not know how to properly "regulate" your sex life with your partner during the period of love relationships, then you have nothing to meddle with in family life! Good sex may well be without love, love without mutually acceptable sex is always futile

Having realized that your sexual expectations are unjustified, having failed to carry out sexual correction, you better end your love relationship. You should not be so naive (oh) as to swallow the bait in the form of empty promises "to reform and sexually re-educate immediately after the registry office."