2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Once upon a time, a man told me:
- Hear me!
By the way, he is the head of a large company, and very accurately used the meaning of this phrase.
On the topic of his statement, there is such an expression:
We think one thing, say another, and the person understands the third.
What happens when we receive information?
My own experience, the experience of others, thoughts hovering in my head, knowledge from books, various similar situations come to mind. And instead of hearing a person, we replace his information with the one inside us.
Hearing the interlocutor is a whole art. This is to disconnect, to some extent, oneself from that part of us that listens and accepts everything as it is. To be, to a certain extent, a blank slate. Tune in to accept the information that the interlocutor gives. Be ready to look at her in the form in which she came to us. And only after that it is possible to connect all those parts of us that will give their vision of the information received. To impose your opinion on it.
I think partly we interrupt people because we are not attentive to the conversation. A person speaks, and his interlocutor already has his own opinion about his words. Instead of the speaker's thoughts, he is absorbed by his own thoughts. Of course, he wants to voice them quickly. As a result, he does not give the right to speak up to the end and begins to talk about himself.
How well can you hear speech in such conditions? Does the speaker's idea reach the listener's mind?
Similarly, we cannot hear the feelings of another person, his feelings on life events. Look at the situation through his eyes. And to some extent we devalue the personal attitude of the interlocutor to certain incidents.
How often does your interlocutor tell you such phrases: “well, don't exaggerate, the situation is not that much there,” or “come on, you should complain, look at other people's all, you can envy”? To this I refer to situations when we tell something, and in response we are told about a beautiful sunset, dolphins in the Pacific Ocean or something like that. Have you had such cases?
But we are changing roles. Today we cannot hear, and tomorrow we cannot be heard. But at the same time, everyone supposedly listens attentively. Listen, not equal to hear! Listening, we understand the third, something of our own. Sometimes we guess the interlocutor, or are very close to that, and sometimes we disappoint with our misunderstanding. Listening, we sometimes speak like “blind and deaf” and in such a dialogue it is very difficult to agree on something. By listening, we know in advance what our loved one can tell us. But every day our thoughts change, and tomorrow we will think differently. Listening, there is a risk of losing a unique contact with the interlocutor, who, subsequently, turns into a formulaic dialogue.
It is very important to learn to listen in a way that you hear. After all, we already know our own thoughts. And we will always have time to voice them. And there is not always a chance to hear the interlocutor. And in many ways we do not give it to ourselves.
Is there a difference for you between listening and hearing?
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