You Don't Have To Want For Me

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The whole world, led by marketing geniuses, has already deprived me of desires, imposing their own. I can't help dreaming of the Maldives and Paris, I can't help but want Louboutins and Nike, I have to drink vitamins every day and eat healthy bioyogurts with some kind of bacteria.

Yes, yes, everyone heard about it, someone even tried to dig up their desires behind this advertising peel. Write your 100 desires, live with your Wishlist, so that you realize your …

And … And nichrome.

You shouldn't want.

Mom knew better what to want, and what you can't even think about. For some desires they gave me lips, for others they had to stand in the corner. Still others were knocked out with a belt.

You shouldn't want.

Your desires are not comfortable. They have no money, no time, and in general, go learn your lessons.

You shouldn't want.

You are still Nobody, there is nothing of your own in life, but in the same place, you shake your Wishlist.

You shouldn't want.

You know, there is such a word - it is necessary.

If you want - you will.

Business time, fun hour.

The job is done - go read the book and don't bother me.

You shouldn't want.

The school knows best what is interesting. What books to read. What subjects to learn. And how to fold that very integral, with which to then pull the remote control out from under the sofa.

You cannot want it, everything is decided for you.

Kindergarten, school, institute, work, wedding, children, mortgage, Turkey, grandchildren, dacha, death.

And you can’t even more Not want what you need to want.

The very first childish "no" "I myself" is rigidly intersected. I don’t want to, but I must. Take your hands off yourself, or you'll break something. The milk on my lips hasn't dried yet!

Every time, daring to desire something, your own, real, from which it hurts in your chest, you get laughter and a social slap in the face.

What? Collect butterflies? What kind of stupidity !?

Do you want to become an archaeologist ?? You're a girl!

It is good to study, be an excellent student in everything and go to the music school - this is what a girl should be like!

Who should?

Mom, dad, grandmother, aunt.

Most often, of course, the older generation.

They wanted the best, they thought it would help. And they castrated their own opinion, our Wishlist, our self almost to the root.

Some were lucky, and they were not equal to the fictitious standard. Someone was lucky and they didn't break.

But the majority do not have one, not a single desire of their own.

You can't want. You can't help but want.

They were castrated as children. It should, it should be, everyone lives in such a way that people will say, the elders know better.

And now advertising decides for such people what they want. The husband decides for his wife. Wife for husband. Mother for the child.

If you dare not want, others want for you. If you do not dare to want for yourself, you will risk starting to want for others, believing that it is right.

Like responsibility, your mother decided for you, you decide for the child.

If you don’t know how to want, you don’t know what you want or don’t want, you don’t have advertising, social standards, and you need an older friend who pokes you into what you think you can want.

You need a psychologist, or better a psychotherapist. Grow your voice, your opinion, remove the fear of desires. To build boundaries in the end. Grow up.

If you are that smart guy who thinks that he knows better what a husband / wife / child / dog / Putin needs, then you also need to work with borders. Respect strangers. Thinking about what this you do not allow yourself personally and are trying to realize at the expense of others.

No one has the right to decide for another what he wants or not wants. Manipulate and push to profitable options for yourself, under the sauce of care and rational suggestions.

They can't say no to you. They do not know how, they did not teach. More precisely, they disaccustomed to say no.

This is a very unequal dialogue, even a monologue.

And more often than not, you just don't hear the answer. You can't see. And you continue to break a man, already broken and devoid of desires. Your good intentions to make the whole world and this individual happy will be much more environmentally friendly if …

If you shut up and go about your business.

No need to impose. You don't have to offer anything. No need to poke your nose and insist.

Do not turn into a granny who always knew better than you, whether you want to go to the pot, eat or you are cold.

This is violence.

Not "they can't cope without me!", But "I don't want to give freedom, it's more convenient for me."

How do you like reframing? Like?

Learn to hear even fleeting No from a person who does not know how to refuse. The body doesn’t lie, you better watch.

Dialog. Equivalent. You are not smarter than another, even if he is six months old.

It's never too late to grow up.

Learn to speak No. I do not want.

No explanation or excuse.

Learn to feel your own I want and say Yes to your desires!

Allow yourself to live your life and not impose anything on others.

Do not press, do not condemn, do not want for others.

Put aside the opinions of others when it comes to really your values and desires.

Respect someone else's choice.

Appreciate your Wishlist, no matter how crazy they seem.